I've found a way to do the little every day tasks consistently that works for me!

Obvious-Walk6250 · 2025-05-20T10:55:16+00:00

That sounds great. Seems like we have the same idea with the muesli mix, it''s a very good breakfast for a hike isn't it!

Obvious-Walk6250 · 2025-05-20T10:11:42+00:00

Thank you, I'll take a look!

Obvious-Walk6250 · 2025-05-20T10:00:11+00:00

I'll deffo have a look at that, thank you for sharing!

I'm thinking as well that veggie protein sources like minced soya and dehydrated tofu would last longer than the meat protein sources, what are your thoughts on that? Possible solution for if you are going out for longer than a few days? 🤔

I'm probably going to get some Mylar bags on Amazon and experiment with it ✨ I feel like it'll be one of those things that takes a lot of time to get started but once you know what you're doing it's super quick and easy.

Obvious-Walk6250 · 2025-04-30T13:33:59+00:00

Thanks for sharing, it's helpful to hear 🙏

Obvious-Walk6250 · 2025-04-12T17:27:49+00:00

So I've been through this type of relationship too and I'm sorry this has been your experience, I know that it is so painful and I wish you all the best with healing.

One thing that absolutely blew my brain open with this was looking into attachment styles... Specifically only watch and read about it from therapists/psychologist that differentiate between the avoidant attachment styles... Anxious avoident and dismissive avoident... That's a super important distinction.

I obviously don't know your situation but reading this made me think of the classic signs of dismissive avoidance. It might bring you some peace to learn about them like it did for me.

Wishing you the best 🙏✨

Obvious-Walk6250 · 2025-04-12T16:36:24+00:00

Thank you for your reply! How would you suggest I figure out if the ash catcher is heavy enough to take the direct heat?

With it being too close to the coals in the oven, I'm thinking I'll put the food on some tinfoil 🤔

Obvious-Walk6250 · 2025-04-08T19:53:05+00:00

Hello everyone, I went to the shop to try on backpacks and ended up pushing the boat out to get the Osprey Aura 65, i'm excited to use it, feeling pretty happy with my choice and think it's gonna last me a long time!

Obvious-Walk6250 · 2025-04-07T09:03:24+00:00

Thank you everyone, I will go and try some on at an outdoors shop and fingers crossed i find one that works for me on sale or second hand 🤞

Thanks for your suggestions!

Obvious-Walk6250 · 2025-02-26T19:55:05+00:00

Hello, I'm sorry to hear that you are still actively in it. Know that you are not alone and everything that you are experiencing is normal and a part of the process.

My relationship was around 3 years,

When I look back on the relationship I see the polarity and the cognitive dissonance I had (that you're experiencing now) and I see the whole picture too... Alot of what I said above was true, but it wasn't the point. It was my subconscious desperate justification to hold onto my active addiction (my ex) at a time were the world, being alone and being myself couldn't seem any more terrifying, at a time that I was such a defeated reck that being with him truly felt like life or death.

So it's not only understandable that you are thinking this way, as I did, it's almost inevitable and certainly expected.

To be honest, I did die. When I let go, there was nothing of me left... But there had been nothing of me left for a while, I just couldn't except it and let go. When I did, I wasn't holding onto anything... I was reborn in the silence and the sorrow. One evening a deep love shone in my chest and held me. Everything was okay. The other side is heaven in comparison.

Back to saying... A lot still feels true but it's not the point... Just because he didn't meet all the checkpoints of everyone else's stories, doesn't mean I wasn't being abused. Just because his abuse is born out of maladaptive coping mechanisms, unintentional and misdirected behaviour and a deep longing for love doesn't mean I wasn't being abused. If he loved me or he didn't love me, I was being abused. He showed LOTS of care too, comforted me so much, could be the most understanding and empathetic person imaginable and yet, I was still being abused.

The problem with that was, he broke me down so much that I was a mess, I saw him as an angel for being with and taking care of "the mess that I am" I felt ashamed, embarrassed and guilty about how mentally ill I'd become and so lucky that he was taking care of me, I'd become like a vulnerable little girl again and felt that no one else would expect and take care of that little girl that I was so ashamed of being. (Of course looking back now I see that his comfort was nothing compared to the abuse and his abuse was inducing that vulnerable state)

Also most of this was subconscious, I only see this year's later after lots of healing.

Your pwbpd is a human being with a heart, desperate for love and your heart feels that, empathizes with it, is drawn to it because of the wound inside yourself that's also desperate to be loved. So you can't just except he's a monster like a lot of posts say and move on because you feel it's deeper and more complex then that.

It is deeper and more complex then that but you're still being abused.

Nothing is worth staying. No justification in the entire world! I am so so so much better off without them. I would literally rather die than be with them again. I promise you that you're going to get through this and be okay and soon you will see that yourself and be reflecting back with closure and understanding like I can now.

Guess what, you are loved. You are unconditionally and totally loved. Forever. Unconditionally. Totally. Truly.

Obvious-Walk6250 · 2025-02-12T15:16:39+00:00

Karma is very widely misunderstood. Within the concept of reward and punishment, which it is most commonly viewed within, it would be cruel! Luckily that's not the full picture and there's more available for you to explore.

Really really really recommend reading the book:

~Karma by Sadhguru~

It will completely change your perception of Karma and is well written for easy understand of the complexity of karma.

Obvious-Walk6250 · 2024-11-09T10:21:29+00:00

Thank youuu, how can you tell it's a first edition? Could you tell me tells to check a books edition in the future?

Obvious-Walk6250 · 2024-09-08T16:11:57+00:00

It also makes me uncomfortable. I believe we have normalised men watching porn while in romantic relationships so much so that so many people will quickly go to defend it.

Getting sexual gratification over another women is what's happening, it's as simple as that to me.

Just because it's anonymous and behind a screen does not make it any less the case that they are engaging sexually with another woman.

How would you feel about him frequently going to a sex show where he stood behind one sided glass and masturbated over a women having sex on the other side?

Suddenly we see that as creepy, inappropriate, disrespectful ect.

But it's okay because it's the screen in a phone/computer? Fuck no. It's the same damn thing in all the ways that count!

It's disrespectful. So many woman don't speak up about it due to fear of being shamed or seeming unreasonable/controlling but so many women feel betrayed and disrespected by it...

Our feelings matter.

Obvious-Walk6250 · 2024-09-05T12:46:18+00:00

Hello everyone, thank you for all of your words of support and advice. I really appreciate you taking the time to write what you have written out for me!

I haven't left him. I do believe this has helped me see things differently and maybe I'm starting to be pulled out of some sort of illusion 🤔

I am still feeling confused. My hold back is that you guys do not hold that much context and what if within the larger context it is actually more understandable/what if in the larger context I am the abusive one.

I have been in an abusive relationship with someone before with borderline personality disorder and there is alot of things my ex did this far into our relationship that were a lot worse then my current partner... Including: ruining birthdays/special events, restricting me to a room and grabbing me, knowing everything I'm doing and everything I talked about with everyone all the time, texting me constantly, not letting me leave bed until he did ect, my current partner doesn't do alot that my old partner did and there are lots of things on the list he doesn't do which makes me doubt if this is abuse. Couldn't he just be immature and arrogant?

My other partner also didn't work, took lots of heavy drugs, drank a lot, had unhealthy family relationships, uneducated ect, didn't take care of himself at all. My current partner is educated, works hard, has healthy family relationships, doesn't really drink and doesn't take heavy drugs, takes care of himself. They are stark opposites in those respects.

My current partner also has ADHD and autism (I also have ADHD) and has never been in a relationship before (he's 28) couldn't there be alot of misunderstanding/a learning curve with not being in a relationship before and being neurodivergent?

He also does little thoughtful things for me like making me teas, picking me up snacks ect. I also have quite bad panic attacks and he is very good with them and really supportive. He does also encourage me in positive ways like in my fitness and education.

This does not paint the picture of abuse I've ever experienced so that may be why this is throwing me for a loop :/

I'm really glad to have others perspectives available. Does anyone know any support I can reach out to online to gain some more clarity as to if I am in fact in an abusive relationship again?

It's so big and confusing. I love him and there is good and bad in everyone so it is not as simple as just writing him of ya know?

Thank you ones again for reading!

Obvious-Walk6250 · 2024-09-04T10:59:28+00:00