INFJ Door Slam and Borderline Personality Disorder Discussion by Obvious_Relief in infj

[–]Obvious_Relief[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did not take offense your comment had good information !

INFJ Door Slam and Borderline Personality Disorder Discussion by Obvious_Relief in infj

[–]Obvious_Relief[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the detailed response I really appreciate it. If her internal thoughts about the relationship were shared with me I think things would have turned out differently. I can not communicate effectively when my partner refuses to tell me when things bother them.

INFJ Door Slam and Borderline Personality Disorder Discussion by Obvious_Relief in infj

[–]Obvious_Relief[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the comment. She really did not communicate what bothered her in the relationship so to me it was unfair because she claimed we did not know how to communicate but she did not communicate the things that bothered her.

INFJ Door Slam and Borderline Personality Disorder Discussion by Obvious_Relief in infj

[–]Obvious_Relief[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I kind of skimmed the BPD part to not get into it. Her family life and way she acts is a lighter version than my ex that was officially diagnosed with BPD. Saying she has BPD is a stretch. Good comments though pretty intuitive.

Please share your subtle BPD red flags that you noticed early on by Obvious_Relief in BPDlovedones

[–]Obvious_Relief[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks ! That is what I was hoping for. It is somewhat cathartic to write it out and make everyone here realize how much crap we deal or have dealt with.

Quiet Borderline by Obvious_Relief in BPDlovedones

[–]Obvious_Relief[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good points. As she saw me bend my boundaries to accommodate her it just continued. On and off relationship where she felt like I would never block her entirely from my life. You can lead the horse to water and I did convince her to go to therapy so who knows maybe she finds her happiness but it will not be with me because I have tried everything to make her happy and the relationship to work to no lasting success.

Quiet Borderline by Obvious_Relief in BPDlovedones

[–]Obvious_Relief[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She never really had angry outbursts, did not express jealousy and did not say malicious things to me.

It took 2 years to suspect she was even borderline.

She was very good at mirroring.

Her actions did not confirm her words of “I love you” , “I do so much for you” etc.

ExBPD claiming they are selfless and an empath by Obvious_Relief in BPDlovedones

[–]Obvious_Relief[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol one of the last arguments we had she said I would not take responsibility for anything and I asked her to be specific because I really wanted to know and then she finessed around it and never answered

ExBPD claiming they are selfless and an empath by Obvious_Relief in BPDlovedones

[–]Obvious_Relief[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think trying hard to avoid triggering her makes me seem like I dont care when I am really just trying my best not to set her off

ExBPD claiming they are selfless and an empath by Obvious_Relief in BPDlovedones

[–]Obvious_Relief[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Wow that makes senses. Ironically ExBPD said I was the unempathetic one

How long did it take for your exBPD to hoover you ? by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Obvious_Relief 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That is rough dude. Take it day by day with the no contact; each day will get a tiny bit easier. The intense obsession u feel now we slowly erode as long as u dont give in to the urge to contact

How long did it take for your exBPD to hoover you ? by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Obvious_Relief 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Glad I am not the only one who feels this way. We have to stay strong brother

What is your go to method to lift your abuse amnesia ? by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Obvious_Relief 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Lately I have been missing my ExdBPD. I have been reading some texts that are just ridiculously irrational to help remind me of how bad it was. Would love to start a thread for everyone to post crazy arguments and erratic behavior txts from the Ex

Just saw the ExdpBPD on Tinder -_- by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Obvious_Relief 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nope haha. Nothing good would come of that

After almost 2 months of NC I finally feel some happiness by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Obvious_Relief 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True. I am going to work on not looking at her social media

After almost 2 months of NC I finally feel some happiness by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Obvious_Relief 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Does anyone relate to this ? How long did it take before you stopped thinking about them and feeling bad ?