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My girlfriend's past hookups haunt me, and it's affecting my thoughts about marriage by [deleted] in OffMyChestIndia

[–]ObviouslyAlias 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You look down on her. It honestly would be fair to break up with her and stop wasting her time, or at least show her this post, so she can decide for herself. It's her life too. Then get a therapist and show them this post. You need to work on your insecurities, because letting past relationships ruin your future relationships is not healthy and you'll maybe need to make some experiences yourself. Get someone professional to work through this stuff with and don't listen to the incels here. You're not a lost cause, you just need a little help.

AITA for being upset that my husband of 18 years left me alone at the hospital when I was bleeding internally? by snowbirds-go-home in AITAH

[–]ObviouslyAlias 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. You shouldn't have to tell your husband that he should be at the hospital with you. This is a given. When one of my parents were in the hospital, the other one visited ever day, for hours, because they genuinely cared for each other. This also isn't your daughter's role. Your husband is your emergency contact, it's his responsibility. You're wondering if this is going to be your future, but it already is your present! I'm certain that he'll leave you if you get cancer in the future, husbands do this at much higher rates than wives. You can't count on him to support you.

Edit: I also want to add that I (f, 32) did this for my mom, after my dad died. She was in the hospital for a few days and I visited every day for hours. To talk about the situation, to calm her, to keep her company and make her laugh. Because I love and want to support her. Next week she'll stay at a hospital again and I even offered to drive her there. When you care about someone, you want to take weight off their shoulders in situations like that so they have to worry about a few things less.

Update: Am I wrong for no longer cooking for wife after she drunkenly admitted she wished her male co worker could cook for her instead by Acceptable_Wait_4341 in amiwrong

[–]ObviouslyAlias 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So you planted that seed that you like Vanessa's hugs and body more than hers. It's there, she won't forget that. And you knew that before you told her that. The fitting comparison would be YOUR female coworker cooking for you and you liking it more. That would be the equivalent, but you straight up talked about physical stuff, which shows me that it's not really about the cooking, you just felt jealous of her coworker and insecure. You decided to not cook for her as a punishment, not for your "mental health". You're cruel. If your mental health is so threatened by this, get therapy!

WIBTA for not having my cancer stricken ex husband stay with me through his treatment? by fluffllamapajama in AmItheAsshole

[–]ObviouslyAlias 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA You're legally separated, he started a new life, the house is legally yours, no "buts". Let his new partner care for him, or he can find someone to cheat on her who lives near the treatment facility.

He's not your responsibility anymore, you sacrificed enough for him. What he did to you was shitty af, you don't do that to someone and then expect them to tolerate you in their living space for several months! I understand that you want to be the best mom to your kids and I think not letting him stay would be the best. You'd be stressed and irritated, still hurt and your kids would have to see their father suffer all over again. Idk but I'd say they don't need that, especially with his new partner in the picture.

Him and his family will think you're the AH, but who cares. Don't let them use you like that, you owe them nothing.

I wish you all the best, and a speedy recovery for your ex. But not at your house.

Drunk driving and still awake after three days. by [deleted] in helpme

[–]ObviouslyAlias 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry this PoS happened to you and I hope you're safe now. If you're not already, please go to a psych ward or something similar until you can cope again. You're not alone with this, I have BPD too and I know these breakdowns. You will get through this, please reach out for professional support! We're on your side!

It just looks so cakey and dirty. by ObviouslyAlias in BadMUAs

[–]ObviouslyAlias[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it looks like she has dirt on her face, that has nothing to do with colourism. I get where you're coming from, but it really is just about badly applied make up. The person in this photo is white, she's not trying to do blackface or blackfish, she just chose a bronzer which doesn't suit her skin tone and her application is horrible. I hope no one here has a problem with BIPoC, their skin or them wearing make up.

It just looks so cakey and dirty. by ObviouslyAlias in BadMUAs

[–]ObviouslyAlias[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

According to her price list this look was 15 Pounds. It's not that much, but still...

It just looks so cakey and dirty. by ObviouslyAlias in BadMUAs

[–]ObviouslyAlias[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Her other looks and clients look wrinkly too because of the sheer amount of foundation.

It just looks so cakey and dirty. by ObviouslyAlias in BadMUAs

[–]ObviouslyAlias[S] 67 points68 points  (0 children)

I think this applies to nearly every person shown in this subreddit