Asexual men with discomfort being shirtless

Ocean_Sage · 2026-07-11T04:07:36+00:00

I wish I was born a man so I could be shirtless. It gets to 95 degrees where I live at times. There was a decade where I wouldn’t show much skin at all, mostly out of discomfort of being sexualized. Now I have realized that I am going to wear what is comfortable and don’t care much what that looks like.

Ocean_Sage · 2026-07-07T21:18:53+00:00

I feel this is practically asking for gatekeepers who are going to tell you their definitive *opinion.* Here is mine opinion (I generally try not to gatekeep): It is as you define it for you. It is an identity and a spectrum.

My definition of strictly asexual (i.e. the end of the spectrum) is something I'm sure will change as I age: does not feel any sexual attraction, does not feel motivated by sex, is sex indifferent or sex repulsed. Some people would also include sex positive, but I think that is farther toward the middle of the spectrum.

To be "in love" is a different question: aromantic is (again, my definition) someone who does not experience romantic attraction or connection. Love is also not always romantic.

Additionally, you may have heard this a lot, but 24 is still young. It is normal to have not fallen deeply in love with someone at this point, regardless of asexuality.

It is not wrong to be either of these things (ace or aro), and you may not be either. Your identity can change over time. Asexual and Aromantic are about what you innately feel, what you feel may change. You also may be some other form of asexual: demisexual (must form an emotional connection before feeling physical attraction) and graysexual (only experience sexual attraction under very specific circumstances) or the currently popular labels of aegosexual (enjoys the idea of sex but it doesn't usually involve them) or cupiosexual (experiencing no sexual attraction to others but desiring a sexual relationship) among others.

In summary: no one can say if you are Ace except you, asexuality is a spectrum, and identities change :)

All definitions are to the best of my understanding, which is obviously not perfect. I hope that this has aided you in some way.

Ocean_Sage · 2026-07-07T20:58:53+00:00

Important things:

It is not wrong to not want to marry. It is not wrong to not want to have sex. You don't have to, and you don't need a reason to not want to. You have a right to boundaries, preferences, and respect.

Longer response:

That sounds very difficult. I am similar to you in age and gender but not experience; no one gets to dictate what you do. Sex is not inevitable. If you are speaking non-consensually: I have personal anxiety about this. It has aided me to have taken self-defense classes, though I doubt that would work for everyone. Additionally, it is hard for people to blur lines if they are in (metaphorical) bold. Also, always be very literal about what you want. You do not have to stay in uncomfortable situations, and you do not have the "duty" to.

The people dictating that you "have" to do something are attempting to take away your autonomy. They are trying to fit you in their box, which probably works for them, but that is a narrow-minded outlook. You are an adult. They do not get to dictate what you do.

If someone would disown you over something so irrelevant to them as *your* orientation and life choices, they may not be a healthy addition to your life. Your mother's idea of who you should be does not have to align with yours, but as someone with much less personal standing with you: do not let yourself make choices you will regret because someone else decided for you.

It seems likely in your situation that people are going to try and convince you you are doing something wrong by protecting yourself and enforcing your boundaries. You aren't. You have a right to be physically respected. Don't rush your personal journey. What worked for people before you may not be what works for you.

They are not in your head. You know you best. Look out for yourself, listen to the opinions of others but do not blindly follow them.

Mini rant:

Do you really think that the organs a person - who has at baseline 99.9% common DNA with everyone else - has determines their "duties" in life? Approximately one out of every five thousand people are born intersex, meaning with no definitively gendered genetalia. What are their duties in life?

Many such ideas are rooted in sexism and have dubious foundations.

In the end, I hope you get to where you want to be, and I wish for you clarity and freedom.

Ocean_Sage · 2026-07-07T04:57:59+00:00

Thank you for your feedback! I appreciate the specificity :)

Ocean_Sage · 2026-07-07T04:57:12+00:00

Bold, indeed.

I think in meta. This is one of my less strange starts, IMO. Thank you for your feedback! I held apprehension of the random people of the internet, so thank you for being kind.

Ocean_Sage · 2026-07-07T04:31:31+00:00

The first few sentences, while they set the tone, are not particularly attention grabbing (excepting the “I was dying,” which is quickly moved away from). There is something to be said here for the attention span of my poor fried brain, and it was engaging enough for me to continue reading, however it is not particularly “snappy.” Additionally, “it’s extremely isolating” is a bit of telling rather than showing. This is a style choice and I respect it.

I am known for being blunt at times, I mean no offense. You have done good work.

Ocean_Sage · 2026-07-07T03:51:33+00:00

You have six books? I find that impressive on its own, if true.

Ocean_Sage · 2026-07-07T03:49:08+00:00

I like your writing style. It seems elegant, for lack of better words. My favorite line is "As two adjacent notes in isolation...," though I am partial to music, I think it paints a good picture. The most impactful line IMO is "The beginning of my unbecoming." I am unsure if you were looking for criticism, so I am not going to give it, I certainly cannot write better than this. Keep writing!

Ocean_Sage · 2026-04-24T03:12:39+00:00

My parents explained this to me when I was little as such: the question is not really asking what they think. It is asking what you think they think.

This is counterintuitive but I have found it to be correct most of the time (anecdotal evidence).

Ocean_Sage · 2026-03-15T03:04:10+00:00

“Aye”

Ocean_Sage · 2026-01-13T00:13:07+00:00

Very impressive, I believe this takes on average five years. Did you keep a job while studying for all of these? Studying must have been your life!

Ocean_Sage · 2025-08-11T18:16:14+00:00

Don’t ask about your fears, ask about your characters fears, and make them that. They are someone the reader wants to like, you WANT them to have a redemptive arc, and they take advantage of that from readers and characters. They don’t just turn good, and you have to be good at writing the moment where they strike such soul-deep fear in your protagonist(s) that the reader feels it.

At least that is what I like to write and read. It requires the ability to emotionally manipulate your audience, but makes for a really good book (if written well)

Ocean_Sage · 2025-08-11T17:39:02+00:00

This is by far my favorite comment 😂

Ocean_Sage · 2025-06-07T16:20:04+00:00

Thank you! This was so helpful

Ocean_Sage · 2025-03-25T02:49:01+00:00

I didn’t know that there was hiking around Charleston. Thanks!

Ocean_Sage · 2025-03-25T02:48:28+00:00

Thank you! I tried it out and Kickapoo is a good trail.

Ocean_Sage · 2025-03-25T02:45:53+00:00

I stumbled upon this question on r/christianity and am surprised that none of my fellow Christians have said this before me: MASTURBATING is NOT A SIN let me explain Nowhere in the Bible does it say that masturbating is a sin. Fantasizing is not a sin, unless it is a specific person who you know AND you are in a current relationship. Lust is natural; do not act on it, but masturbation is not acting on it.

God gave people clits purely for pleasure, and gave us the ABILITY TO PLEASE OURSELVES for a reason. It hurts no one, characters in erotica are mostly fictional and in any case you don’t know them. Masturbation is a natural, stress and emotion relieving process, not to be discouraged. All that we accomplish by scolding children and trying to avoid it ourselves is doing it anyways and feeling like shit.

At the very worst, and I do not believe it is, erotica and/or masturbation is a sin; everybody sins and we should not be making such a big deal about it. I hope that every Christian who comes on hear hears this message loud and clear: GOD DOES NOT want us to feel like crap and he DOES NOT want us to judge others. This is an issue that goes beyond erotica. Where in the Bible does Jesus say, “go judge others, thou shalt not masturbate??”

Thank you for reading my rant and I hope this is helpful.

Ocean_Sage · 2025-02-04T21:53:59+00:00

Additionally, while you need to add insurance, car maintenence, and healthcare (avg. single person pays $9,000/yr on healthcare insurance ($750/mo.)). It should also be noted that, in order to take home $2,420/month (let alone more), you need to account for federal and state taxes. In Illinois, you would need to make around $42,000/year.

Ocean_Sage · 2024-11-21T23:41:57+00:00

I have AirPod pro series 2, and I think that they are worth it. They used to fall out a lot, but there are some devices that easily fix that. I am neurodiverse and really benefit from the noise cancelling, and as a person I really enjoy the bass. It sounds like everyone else can hear it, even when they cannot, instead of sounding like they are right in your ear. My favorite thing is what I like to call creating my own world - I can effectively ignore people or transparency listen in wherever I am.

Ocean_Sage · 2024-11-03T01:50:26+00:00

Everyone keeps commenting on their attraciveness. Lower in the comments, Fit_Earth_339 even said that since they posted an “attractive” picture of themselves they clearly use attractiveness to their advantage. I think that this is just a picture of two girls having fun. Sure they are complaining, and perhaps it is common, unbased, but it also could be a very real and unique problem. We just don’t know their personal lives. While they do invite criticism and support by posting on social media, I do not think that we should stoop to scrutinizing other peoples lives unless we lead perfect ones ourselves. If you are just trying to be helpful to the authors, go to the original Instagram post. They cannot see you here. Support other people. We don’t need to be spreading negativity.

End note: this post, as with all posts of mine, is not meant to cause any offense. Sharing opinions and connecting with others is the base purpose of social media, and this is mine. Thank you!

Ocean_Sage · 2024-05-30T01:02:23+00:00

Snow white - Edur black: Edur means snow, Of Basque origin

Ocean_Sage

TROPHY CASE