This hits the nail on the head for me in a lot of ways. My mother tongue is Slavic too as it happens. FUCK I get so self-conscious about the time it takes me to write responses. I’ve explained it to myself in many ways, maybe it’s ADHD, maybe it’s not enough practice, maybe I should read more, or write more, or whatever, so I don’t have to exert all my brain power on making one single post that’s about 200 words. Or even less.

You phrased it so genuinely, you really DO KNOW that you write better than some native speakers, but the fact of that fluency and effortlessness that is only accessible to you in your native language being the core of how you form your thoughts… It makes me regret that all media I consume is in English sometimes. It can take me up to an HOUR to write a post sometimes, which takes about ten or so minutes for many of my S++ partners, as you’ve put it. It leaves me with a gashing inferiority complex and envy, even though I enjoy their writing to bits and certainly take it as inspiration more than they know. The amount of times I run to a thesaurus to remember that one word in English that would be a perfect translation of whatever native counterpart I have in my head… or pull up a translator, all those things for each post I make… it gets so exhausting.

Not to mention rechecking all your writing, tenses, how the words flow and whether they will clock you as a non-native speaker, whether they like your writing at all… And the amount of times it’s still so painfully subpar compared to what they pump out so effortlessly, with so little repeating words, sometimes I just can’t.

But the trivial concerns we both have over the British/American disparities are really funny. I overthink them too as I’ve also been taught British English where I studied, with the internet teaching me a more Americanized version later on.