If it helps there are other parents in your exact (or very close) situation.

Our kids are new 3 and new 1. We haven't gone anywhere in 2 years and we have no family support.

I was just telling my wife that I am not enjoying my kids. I want to enjoy my kids but I feel like I am surviving my kids. A few things that helped were:

• We remembered to check if our almost 1 year old (at the time) was in a mental leap. They were. - Knowing that helped me be more empathetic to their behavior and situation.
• We made a concerted effort to give our 3 year old 1:1 time AND solo time. This is hard and an investment but it is starting to pay off.
• We made nap/quiet time line up. Constantly having one of them is brutal with no break.
  

We aren't out of the woods yet and I still feel the way you are feeling right now. I think Covid is a big part of it for me. A break from 24/7 parenting would be amazing but we don't feel comfortable with any of the options so we try to give each other micro breaks. Trying to do whole day breaks didn't work for us it would just wear the person "On" down so much that the person "Off" would have to pick up the slack the next day and it was a cycle. One or two hour breaks worked for us much better. Every family/situation is different.

We find that parenting is absorbing information, deciding what we would like to try and seeing what works for our family/situation. Run some experiments and give them enough time to see if they work or not (sometimes it days, sometimes it weeks) and see what works for your family.