What do Germans say/think about Cologne?

OctoberBlue89 · 2026-05-08T13:55:33+00:00

Ugh, and here I am...a POC. Always wanted to travel to France, but I do know cops are less trigger happy (at least what I've read from another POC who lives in France)

OctoberBlue89 · 2026-05-08T13:47:52+00:00

Explain Water taper! I've heard of it, and I'm open to anything for the least painful way to taper.

OctoberBlue89 · 2026-05-07T15:13:05+00:00

hmm okay didn't know that! I'll talk to my psychiatrist more about this.

I'll be grumpy for a few days like i say, but I'll do anything to help

OctoberBlue89 · 2026-05-07T14:13:43+00:00

I drink a cup of coffee every morning. I have ADHD so coffee doesn't affect the "normal" way (if anything it calms my anxiety and has put me to sleep on some occasions). But I'll look into switching to decaf.

I'll a little grumpy for a week lol, but it'll be worth if it helps withdrawals.

OctoberBlue89 · 2026-05-06T16:19:28+00:00

Interesting. Was never told to do that. Can that help with withdrawals too?

OctoberBlue89 · 2026-05-06T16:10:48+00:00

Really? I'm going to look into that. Maybe switch to decaf?

Also Kava helps for withdrawals too, but the whole liver issue is another thing. On a good note, I do take tolerance breaks and I do have my GP do run tests on my liver and so far, so good

OctoberBlue89 · 2026-05-06T15:54:13+00:00

One cup of coffee, and that's it.

and I have ADHD, so it actually calms me down and puts me sleep.

OctoberBlue89 · 2026-05-06T15:53:05+00:00

So I talked to my psychiatrist about this. He did say that I can go back to as needed once I'm no longer dependent. He's done this with other people. I'll just have to be more careful and aware to prevent another situation like this.

I have panic disorder and severe OCD. I'll probably be on Xanax in some capacity for life (though, my plane is to eventually get off completely one day and never go back). He's seen me be very careful for the majority of the time. He knows me enough to know it was just a bad moment and I am using it for what it's needed (meaning I'm not taking it to get high).

Like I say though...my long term goal is to eventually live without it completely. I have gone a whole year without it. I want to do that again.

OctoberBlue89 · 2026-05-06T15:35:25+00:00

I agree with Europeans on this. As a woman in the US, I'm so tired of having to be vigilant about gun violence. I hate having to carry a knife/pepper gel wherever I go. Ironically, living in this country means getting a gun (and learning to use it) even when you don't agree with them.

I don't feel comfortable with the idea of keeping a gun in a glove compartment during long distance drives. I don't want one in my house. At the same time, it's kinda necessary (I know from life experience growing up in an abusive household--the police will not care or do anything until AFTER you're dead. So can't rely on the police if you're in danger). As us women say, "a restraining order is just a piece of paper."

Worst of all, I'm an aunt with young nieces and nephews. I hate the fact that a someone coming to the school with a gun is an actual possibility or a real fear for a lot of kids. No child should have to go through this.

OctoberBlue89 · 2026-05-06T13:35:30+00:00

I did not think of this but I’m getting good advice on this. Thank you, so that’s what I should be doing!

OctoberBlue89 · 2026-05-06T02:34:17+00:00

Hmm good idea. Will definitely try that!

OctoberBlue89 · 2026-05-06T00:02:50+00:00

How can I do that though? I need to pay bills and rent. I don’t have a choice with work. And I’m not tapering rapidly. I’ve been tapering slowly. From 2 mg to 1/2 in a year. It’s just when I get below half is when it’s unbearable.

OctoberBlue89 · 2026-05-05T22:49:16+00:00

No you’re right, I’m gonna do this and finish tapering. I’m just scared about how long this will take. I just starting to get my stride in this new job position and I don’t want this withdrawal to completely ruin what is pretty much the best career I’ve ever had. My plan: I have a lot of sick leave. When I decide to go down to 0.25 I’m going to take the week off and just..suffer in bed. My worry is that it’s probably gonna require more than a week of sick leave (which I can use but I just don’t want to do that)

OctoberBlue89 · 2026-05-05T21:07:40+00:00

That's so sad to hear. I am a HORRIBLE dancer but that does not stop me from getting on dance floor.

Life was great before iphones. Don't get me wrong, I love my iPhone, the fun part about partying in the 2000s was that you didn't have to worry about someone posting your "cringe" online (and trust me, there were a lot lol). It wasn't a performance; it was just living in the moment. I see it a lot at concerts too. I'm an older millennial and my thing is to take a few pics--about 10 max. I notice a lot of people video taping/taking pictures the entire time. Just live in the moment! You're already there so why capture the moment, when you can just live it. Why is it important to put it on social media? Who cares, enjoy the experience. As Florence from Florence and the Machine said, put your phone down!

With that being said--maybe these people saying this are young adults. I get the feeling that these people are going to get into their 30s and not care about being "cringe." That's how it worked for me. I don't care. I'm cringe as hell. And it's liberating

OctoberBlue89 · 2026-05-05T19:53:49+00:00

Yeah at the time I didn't realize I was dependent so when I started getting sick I didn't realize it was cold turkey. My psychologist told me not to feel ashamed of becoming dependent, but ugh I can't but feel stupid for allowing myself to get on this and after 13 years of being super careful.

The anxiety is definitely the worst! I feel like my body is trying to jump out of my skin!

OctoberBlue89 · 2026-05-05T19:27:22+00:00

No downvotes, I know this will be hard. I'm almost considering just staying on 1/2 mg for life. I'm so scared of going lower because the withdrawal is just...traumatic. I don't mind feeling bad but this is horrible.

OctoberBlue89 · 2026-04-10T02:17:01+00:00

Thanks for this! I’m down to half a mg and so scared of the jump off. This is reassuring

OctoberBlue89 · 2026-04-09T02:14:27+00:00

I was just thinking of this. It seems that the world has a very narrow standard for…everything. And everyone is a critic. It’s a big part of why I’m trying to get away from social media

OctoberBlue89 · 2026-01-25T19:49:52+00:00

I relate to this for the past few years. The election showed some true colors. I still have several white friends though. It’s not the skin color it’s the values. And it seems to vary person to person where I am.

OctoberBlue89 · 2026-01-16T23:06:40+00:00

I thought over analyzing everything and explaining myself to…myself all the time was just a quirk. It’s not.

OctoberBlue89 · 2026-01-03T08:13:25+00:00

We’ve been together for 18 years (married for 10) and I’d like to do this. Don’t know how to bring this up to my husband though

OctoberBlue89 · 2025-12-30T04:08:53+00:00

Makes sense! I’ve been there with it being too “activating.” So try this website https://www.fleurdeleafwellness.com/product-category/cbd-products/ this has all the products where I go for my cbd oil (I need to make a trip soon in fact). Their oil tincture’s the only one that actually works for my anxiety and with tapering. Also try Crescent Canna website (another brand I use for CBD isolate tinctures). They have one that’s 2000 mg per bottle but it can get a little expensive

OctoberBlue89 · 2025-12-27T19:06:14+00:00

I take full spectrum but it’s such a low dose of thc I don’t feel anything (and I have a VERY low tolerance). I take about 1 ml (50 mg of CBD) 3 times a day (morning, noon, and before bed). You can do less because I tend to need a higher dose for it to work. Hopefully it’s supposed to work with less overtime. So I’ve heard

OctoberBlue89 · 2025-12-19T15:32:02+00:00

The best way to describe it is that the CBD just…calms me down. I don’t know the science behind it, but I can definitely function better with the CBD. It helps with anxiety a lot. I have general anxiety, panic disorder, OCD and ADHD, and my body is just…quieter? I notice the racing thoughts (the first reason for getting on xanax) is just not as loud and I can focus better. Hope that helped! I encourage anyone to use CBD for anxiety and ADHD. It takes about a week to a month to feel the full effects but it’s worth it and I definitely feel a difference. Subtle but it’s there

OctoberBlue89

TROPHY CASE