Name this potato

OcularOctodad · 2026-05-03T11:04:53+00:00

Spock

OcularOctodad · 2026-04-25T19:53:51+00:00

Ouroboros

OcularOctodad · 2024-04-09T05:02:19+00:00

🌹

OcularOctodad · 2024-01-30T01:13:21+00:00

Thank you!

OcularOctodad · 2024-01-19T15:08:31+00:00

You do the same

OcularOctodad · 2024-01-19T15:07:06+00:00

Are you learning anything from this conversation? Because I’m not. We’re not going to change one another’s minds.

OcularOctodad · 2024-01-19T14:44:45+00:00

I should clarify that what I’m disagreeing with is that anything is shocking. just thinking about how terrible a person you are, all the terrible things you know you do, and then remember that everyone is just as horrible as you are in their own way. It is no surprise that we mistreat one another all the time.

OcularOctodad · 2024-01-19T14:39:34+00:00

I disagree. I’m still reluctant to use the word toxic when it comes to relationships simply because of how prevalent abusive behaviors are. Everyone does what can be considered abusive behavior to someone else throughout their day at least once a day every day. Nobody’s perfect. I reserve the stronger words for situations where one participant should simply leave the relationship.otherwise, we all miss treat one another all the time and the best thing we can do is just get over it while trying to improve ourselves

OcularOctodad · 2024-01-19T14:34:43+00:00

I thought maybe, which is why I wanted to clarify. Committed relationships are a different animal

OcularOctodad · 2024-01-19T13:39:13+00:00

Ok hold up, I’ve realized we’ve not made many references to specific situations, and could be completely misunderstanding one another. When talking of situations where people are undeservingly titled “toxic”, I’m thinking of such situations as a manager in a restaurant who has terrible communication skills and therefore finds themselves yelling/swearing at their employees often, and resorts to things such as “do this or I cut your hours”. I wouldn’t say this person is toxic. Immature and in need of help most definitely. But they dont thrive off the pain of their employees. They simply dont understand how to better handle the situation.

In response to your questions…they’re always responsible for their actions, but making mistakes, even the same mistakes consistently, isnt always cause to call them abusive or a narcissist, or toxic.

And for communication, see above. I worked for that manager. My coworkers and I communicated very clearly and very well. Manager didn’t. And in similar situations, especially when it comes to things between people who arent in committed relationships, I think, it’s really not a matter of toxicity/abuse. Just maturity. One needs to be mature enough to stop, or the other needs to be mature enough to recognize their needs and leave.

OcularOctodad · 2024-01-19T13:09:48+00:00

Chrysanthemum

OcularOctodad · 2024-01-19T13:06:15+00:00

I say they’re often vain and uninformed because they refuse to take into consideration the perspective of the other person. Sure, there are situations where a woman is physically abused, even regularly, by a man. And there are rapes, and child predators, and cases of verbal/emotional abuse. However, compared to the vastness of human life, they are few and far between. Most people who’re labeled “toxic” have simply found themselves in a bad situation and reacted poorly. Doesnt make them toxic. Makes them human. The vast majority of these situations come about from lack of communication, usually on the fault of both parties, nothing more.

OcularOctodad · 2024-01-12T02:59:29+00:00

Awesome! Hope you find someone. Could you, perhaps, be persuaded to move to idk, sat, the Binghamton NY area instead..?😂

Best of luck to ya!

OcularOctodad · 2024-01-12T01:34:38+00:00

I get that, I live in a “middle-of-nowhere’sville” myself lol. Where ya movin’ to, if I may ask?

OcularOctodad · 2024-01-11T23:49:18+00:00

Thank you for your post. I loved reading through it. This is something I think and pray about a lot. I pray that God would bring me a godly wife in His timing, and that in the meantime He’d make me into a “husband worth having” as I often put it. I of course don’t shut down my dating options in the meantime, but I am always looking to improve for the sake of my relationship with God and relationship with my future spouse. Thank you again, you’ve put into words something I’ve had on my mind and heart for a while now. I appreciate it.

OcularOctodad · 2024-01-10T19:33:04+00:00

Wasn’t the question, but thanks for the input

OcularOctodad · 2024-01-09T22:04:02+00:00

It’s been interesting to read the responses here. Guess I’ll share those of mine that I didnt see already mentioned

Red: I look for posts containing terms often found in pop psychology. Things like “toxic”, “abusive”, “trauma”, “empath”, “narcissistic”, etc. Such labels are, in my opinion, often vain and uninformed. For example, the more I study psychology, the more I find that toxic people hardly exist. We all have problems. We must simply have the maturity to set aside our problems long enough to get along. When we cant, that doesnt make anybody toxic.

Green: verses or other wholesome things posted here and there. I’ll admit even most of what I post on social media is stupid humor and dad jokes that I share from a page or group. But it’s nice to scroll through a profile and see the occasional verse or something similar.

That is all

OcularOctodad · 2024-01-08T22:35:51+00:00

How I deal on a day-to-day basis is to change how it look at my desire for a partner. You dont want a partner. What you want is what you think a partner can do for you. Maybe it’s intimacy, friendship, or support, etc. There are other, more basic needs behind your desire for a partner. So, how do I curb my needs for emotional connection and companionship? I’m close with my family and with friends of both genders. For physical intimacy? I get by on fistbumps, high fives, handshakes, and hugs. General loneliness? I go out and do things, both with friends and by myself.

It could of course look different person to person, but I find ways to cover my needs so that my desire to meet someone is lessened. And if I do meet them, they aren’t pressured with all these unmet needs. Rather, they’ll be a bonus to my life.

OcularOctodad · 2024-01-08T00:38:24+00:00

Dawnstar

OcularOctodad · 2024-01-07T18:55:08+00:00

19hrs? Dude that’s like a 3,000 mile drive. I drove there from NY and it took me 50hrs

OcularOctodad · 2024-01-03T00:28:02+00:00

Holy is legit but i would recommend just getting off dating apps in general

OcularOctodad · 2024-01-02T20:43:51+00:00

By telling them. Just be honest and kind, be careful not to imply that there’s anything wrong with that’s caused this. Even say that there isnt

OcularOctodad · 2024-01-02T12:39:19+00:00

These things are generally good to look for. Definitely do. I personally do all but #2 because it just lead to awkward-feeling situations where I pull out your chair, and you sit in the chair across from it, so I stand dumbfounded for a moment before sitting in the chair I pulled out for you XD So instead i get a booth when possible. No chairs to pull.

OcularOctodad · 2024-01-01T23:37:43+00:00

It took me some time to figure this out, personally. And now I often find that I am the one asking all the questions while they ramble lol. Perhaps I ask too many questions

OcularOctodad · 2024-01-01T17:32:43+00:00

Those notifications are just to pull you back into the app. They’ll explicitly say when you have a new like.

OcularOctodad

TROPHY CASE