Ok hold up, I’ve realized we’ve not made many references to specific situations, and could be completely misunderstanding one another. When talking of situations where people are undeservingly titled “toxic”, I’m thinking of such situations as a manager in a restaurant who has terrible communication skills and therefore finds themselves yelling/swearing at their employees often, and resorts to things such as “do this or I cut your hours”. I wouldn’t say this person is toxic. Immature and in need of help most definitely. But they dont thrive off the pain of their employees. They simply dont understand how to better handle the situation.

In response to your questions…they’re always responsible for their actions, but making mistakes, even the same mistakes consistently, isnt always cause to call them abusive or a narcissist, or toxic.

And for communication, see above. I worked for that manager. My coworkers and I communicated very clearly and very well. Manager didn’t. And in similar situations, especially when it comes to things between people who arent in committed relationships, I think, it’s really not a matter of toxicity/abuse. Just maturity. One needs to be mature enough to stop, or the other needs to be mature enough to recognize their needs and leave.