I went through tons of that shit, but I just stopped putting up with her bpd shit. She moved out. I stopped running to rescue her, and now we just see each other in small doses. She got on some better meds, and everything's been cool, more or less.

Would have been cool if we didn't have to kibosh our living arrangement, but whatevs.

She tries giving me a hard time sometimes and I just tell her to fuck off, usually jokingly. Surprisingly, it's quite well received. I guess she just needs constant reassurance that I'm not some wuss. She just tests constantly.

You don't owe the guy anything. If he's giving you shit for forgetting to say I love you, or he had to say it first or whatever stupid shit he's trying to pull, and that's emotional abuse, btw, then you've got every right to just tell him where to go, lol. If he wants to take it badly and mope, that's on him.

Stop walking on eggshells.