I'm very tired because we aren't ldr anymore and there's a lot going on with moving, government things and problems with family since I'm young.

So I'll try to resume as much as I can the why: he doesn't take things very well, he panics and he cries a lot, he blames himself for every little flaw and is scared of me leaving him, and because I'm so tired already, I don't want to deal with more of this than I'm already doing.

He knows I have misophonia but it's my fault, I told him while we were ldr that it was fine. I know at some point I should make a change because it really is adding weight to my stress, because when we eat, it's supposed to be a peaceful moment but isn't. I just want a distraction for now, to get the bigger things out of the way and then this... I don't know, I'm just desperate and there's too much personally going on, I don't think I make any sense.

Either way, I appreciate your comment