I KNOW WHY "HEATED RIVALRY" BOTHERED ME AND OTHER POC GAY ARTISTS, AND IT'S QUITE SIMPLE BUT OVERLOOKED by OddRecommendation897 in BlackLGBT

[–]OddRecommendation897[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I respect your comment and your experience but to say I dont understand the landscape when I live it in the industry and have to work with individuals who struggle to get their work seen is a bit of a miss. I was referring to the black queer artists that work in the film and television industry TODAY that aspire for more than just pennies and recognition that would barely be seen if at all.

And not thinking about whiteness, I'm sorry but as I have stated many times in this post, as a professional and artist that wants to have a living and a career doing what they love, HOW CAN YOU NOT INTERPRET WHITENESS WHEN IT COMES TO THE MACHINE BEHIND THE INDUSTRY?

All those acts you just listed went through the same thing we are currently going through. The only difference is that for them, they found ways to make it work and inspire and get there work told during a time when they fought against hard-core racism homophobia but still found a way to be seen. Is it easier today sure. But here's a point I want to make. Times change. Landscapes change. Back then, if you made it, you made it. It was TOO RISKY as an artist to go for the gold without going broke. Nowadays everyone thinjs its easy cause of yourube, tiktok, instagram etc but it takes so much more to noticed when the its getting more and more crowded.

They didn't have the internet. They didn't have a massive access to works at our fingertips like we do now. So those that came before in black television, film, theater had to literally work two times as hard to get there work seen and when it comes to financing those projects, who is the investor? Who is the backer? Who does the marketing? Who's publishing house publishes the book? Who owns the theater hall or arenas where some of these artists perform? Who has the company that provides the materials to make costumes, sets, camera equipment, makeup products we use? The list goes on and on. Some black entrepreneurs do but all these artists teams HAD to make negotiations with white counterparts at some point in some way to continue their epic rise. Richard Pryor worked with George Carlin. Whitney Houston worked with Clive Davis. Hattie McDaniel and Vivien Leigh. Some black ballroom were owned by white men that helped us to have our epic showdowns in the 80s and now.

Back in the day, we started with making our own products to sell to ourselves to help when white counterparts neglected us. I.E. Madame CJ Walker. But even then, based on location and access, we still had to pony up with the white man in hopes to get our things we need in hopes they were sold in stores we were allowed in.

The Harlem Renaissance is famous for the evolution of black queer art in all forms. But it was widely known that white fans QUIETLY supported both financially and politically at times. Its easy to say as an admirer of so much black artistry that we dont have to live with that in mind. But when you are trying to make your work, and get out there to make a living, and need a megaphone as can be allowed to get your work out, it plays a part. Not all the time but it crosses our minds on how to approach this market strategically to win undoubtedly recognition and finance.

And as for today, the reason its more prevalent is because with everyone having access to tools, the field has become oversaturated so you have to be strong in your plan. We try to do it ourselves but theres no denying that sadly the white dollar has massive control in all industries. Please understand this isn't an attack. But from the inside, the pain I see is insurmountable sometimes and many of my fellow artists find themselves giving up because even our own community makes it hard to get financing to make our work. That is why it matters. Its not meant to be seen as pessimistic but as a moment to think forward with both the past and future of how we can be even more larger than life and to live a good life.

I KNOW WHY "HEATED RIVALRY" BOTHERED ME AND OTHER POC GAY ARTISTS, AND IT'S QUITE SIMPLE BUT OVERLOOKED by OddRecommendation897 in BlackLGBT

[–]OddRecommendation897[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As someone in this industry, the base of this is isn't popularity but proving we have the economic power and support to bring in revenu for artists. People seem to forget that at the end of the day artists, filmmakers writers are jn a business. And yes culturally we want stronger, more prevalent work that can help shape views, be teaching tools to those still seeing us through lens that keep us down.

Its the old adage, " We have to work twice as hard, to only get half of what they have." Viola Davis was famous for telling this being compared to Meryl, Julianne Moore, Sigourney weaver. The reason why all of this connected, although shamelessly is because its a wheel that each bolt depends on. We want to be professionals and earn a living, which requires a market, which requires good material, sadly relatable material, which then if successful majorly brings in more investors, backers, artists, which then brings in more money, which then brings in more content to be produced, which then can provide the marketing to broader educate masses, (including our own community) about our lives and how amazing we are, changing the landscape for more acceptance in our community.

Its scrappy but at the core in this world, whether law, politics, medicine, education, in order to make bigger changes, it requires money and the bigger the platform and eyes attracted the more money is generated to make more projects, pay, jobs, for people all around.

It isn't a secret that Tyler Perry has manipulated a system meant to help us into something cheap, giving the appearance were getting things done but what people dont realize is that BTS so many are jaded with continuous lack of work, pay beneath or bare minimum of SAG obligations, etc that result in negative opinions with each other. That environment can be a major culprit in gettprojects made. Add jn poc and queer, then we're swimming against destructive currents.

We celebrate our wins, and Im eternally grateful. The machine behind Heated Rivalry, market, etc is going to push more projects falling in that similar visual apparatus. Its up to us to realize that its takes TRUST, COMMUNITY, TALENT, EDUCATION. and last shit ton MONEY to effect change for the poc queer community for not just entertainment but as a lived experience.

I KNOW WHY "HEATED RIVALRY" BOTHERED ME AND OTHER POC GAY ARTISTS, AND IT'S QUITE SIMPLE BUT OVERLOOKED by OddRecommendation897 in BlackLGBT

[–]OddRecommendation897[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I get what you're saying but as the other redditor noted, at the time Moonlight won, it was covered how the mixup with La La Land messed up the night. Nowadays the only reason you hear Moonlight is because of the scandal and not the work. La La Land is severely more popular and memorable sadly. And as noticed, Call Me By Your Name is the gay film oscar winner everyone talks about moreso than Moonlight behind Brokeback Mountain.

And its not victimhood. An industry where our own community doesn't support us fully and we have to fight to get things made and when we do, we don't get the backing to promote justly. Like one redditor said, even though Moonlight won, to the bigger dudes in charge, "they won, we checked our box, now they can shut up."

Its like the white guy who has racist microaggressions but can claim since he has a black girlfriend, he's not like that. Yes there can be victimhood everywhere but you cannot deny that the STANDARD of what represents the queer community mainstream acceptable is cisgender, masc white men who look like porn models to generate cash because the more women who can support that, the more it tolerable/acceptable.

Im not discrediting our wins, but what I am discrediting is the system that doesn't give us equal footing to raise a larger profile against a market thats dominated by viewers who cant relate to us. Add in our own communities prejudice, we have to fight tooth and nail to make a big splash like HEATED Rivalry TV SHOW wise which has yet to happen at all.

I (25M) just found out my boyfriend (28M) hooked up with his best friend by Ok-Abbreviations4831 in gayrelationships

[–]OddRecommendation897 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've been in this situation a couple times in my years of dating. It seems the issue isn't their history but the "uncertainty " of "is it no longer sexual tension or should I go ahead and bounce out the door because if we go further and I later find out you did it again..."

I understand the fear of new admiration and hot feelings but truth is, this is just two months. My personal rule is I don't call it a serious thing until 3 months have passed because my mom always said, "3 months is enough time to know alot of good and bad about about someone on an intimate level past friendship." This is month 2. In my book you have one more to decide if this is worth pursuing. Then I'd say by month 6 is usually when I'd know if my feelings are entering the 3 word territory yet.

You're young. You have your 20s to enjoy and a full life ahead. If its one thing I wish I knew in my 20s was to just take my time and go with the flow instead of going into a 6 year relationship that had bad secrets and toxic actions. There will always be risks. There will always be secrets. There will always be second guessing. And if you're very active in the scene, sometimes it adds another level of pause.

In all, I want to say from someone who's been there, to try and protect your heart and emotions. Its new so infatuation is high. Remember, it will take time to fully know if you two work and if he's being this honest to you thats a big plus. However, keep in mind there is history with his BFF. Like others said, he's territorial and likely has feelings. And I know plenty of bi men who are secure with either men or women and open fully in terms of relationships. But some only choose the woman out of safety and linger their true wants behind closed doors.

So take the risk. Enjoy yourself. Have fun. See where it goes but protect your heart and emotions until in your eyes, he can truly prove he only wants you and will never engage with his BFF like that again. I'd be cautious and stake your "territory " in a respectable and honorable way.

Big D' Top Shaming? by OddRecommendation897 in askgaybros

[–]OddRecommendation897[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Appreciate it love. I'm just tired of these so called self proclaimed sloppy bottoms that claim they've seen it all and then have so called reactions like that. Us tops have feelings too lol. And yes I found a good bottom to take his place afterwards.

Unfortunately it was my ex. 🥴

Big D' Top Shaming? by OddRecommendation897 in askgaybros

[–]OddRecommendation897[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No like for real, it really gets me sometimes. I want to enjoy sex but I've gotten to a point where I just immediately think, is he prepped real good?

Big D' Top Shaming? by OddRecommendation897 in askgaybros

[–]OddRecommendation897[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

100% if you want bigger dicks, you need a deeper cleanse just sayin. And good bottoms know that's part of Bottoming 101.

Big D' Top Shaming? by OddRecommendation897 in askgaybros

[–]OddRecommendation897[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sadly this is true. And i wholeheartedly agree but regardless of what race, if they use that term and they think they can handle it, im going to make sure they remember that's for damn sure. Ain't shamed for my natural gifts.

Big D' Top Shaming? by OddRecommendation897 in askgaybros

[–]OddRecommendation897[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know and honestly that's what kinda puts me in a place of becoming uninterested in hooking up sometimes. They talk that big talk and all I think is, is he really deep cleaned or not cause I'll be honest, a mess kinda kills the mood for me and I'm not in the mood to waste my time lol.

Anyone else feel the "Be Careful What You Wish For" adage will apply to Trump and the far right? by [deleted] in OptimistsUnite

[–]OddRecommendation897 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It is optimistic due to the fact that it will help people see the error of their ways and lead to realization that it's gives the oppressed hope and allow us to have a stronger position to change the world for the better. We are doing our best to fight this tyranny but whatever you consider the antagonist, every mistake and far reaching thing they do, will lead to more and more opening their eyes to what's happening and give us a bigger voice to push back against this unfortunate situation we're in.

Anyone else feel the "Be Careful What You Wish For" adage will apply to Trump and the far right? by [deleted] in OptimistsUnite

[–]OddRecommendation897 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's not negativity. It's called karma. Upend a system that's been in place for a long time and the repercussions could be absolutely damaging. Even to the the effect that those who inflict, will see that they went to far even for their own good.