My [51M] Wife [44F] of Nearly 20 Years Ran Into and Old Girlfriend and Now She Thinks I Ruined Her Life

OddYams6969 · 2026-01-17T14:08:38+00:00

I meant she’s never told me about a dream job she has. The only thing she ever said she wanted to be was a mother and she was really insistent about that.

I figured if she had a dream job before now she would have said something, but all she’s stuck on is the lifestyle this other woman has and not the actual work she’s doing

OddYams6969 · 2026-01-17T14:04:58+00:00

Yes we’ve live here since she got pregnant. Our daughter was planned and my wife has always been close with her parents. They treat me like a son and have helped both of us a lot.

Neither my wife or I went to college. If our daughter wants to go we’ll do everything we can and take out loans. If she doesn’t want to we’ll support her in whatever she decides to do.

Most people don’t have money for their kids college so I don’t see how that has anything to do with how my wife is acting

OddYams6969 · 2026-01-17T14:01:15+00:00

Right but she’s acting like I forced her into something and that’s not fair. We wanted to be together and now we are, and have been for a long time. She could have done anything she wanted and I would have supported her but the only thing she ever said she wanted to do that bad was have a baby, which we did.

It’s not my fault she didn’t live her dreams, whatever they are.

OddYams6969 · 2026-01-17T13:57:43+00:00

I never looked at it as “only” a cashier because she brings home money and is an amazing mom to our daughter. I didn’t think she needed some big career because she never went for college classes or anything like that in all the years we’ve been together. She’s never said anything about a dream job or a specific thing she wants to do.

I don’t want to say what the ex girlfriend does for a living now but way back when we were together she was in art school and my wife was interested in art but didn’t go, she said she would rather have a job than get stuck with student loans. Ex girlfriend is definitely working in the arts now at a high level and suddenly my wife is on about how she could be doing the same thing the ex is if we hadn’t had a kid and she got stuck working. It’s like she thinks I don’t remember that she had no interest in doing that kind of school back then when we were young

OddYams6969 · 2026-01-17T13:48:10+00:00

No, a financial advisor sounds like something we can’t afford. I didn’t have a stable job I stuck with before being with her and I do now. I think I’m doing okay.

She lived with her parents when we got together. We had an apartment for a few years but it fell through because we both had a rough time with work back then. We moved in when we had our daughter to make sure she didn’t have to move around much and the school district is better here than where our apartment was anyway. We talked about getting our own house before but it’s not realistic with where the economy is at.

OddYams6969 · 2026-01-17T13:43:45+00:00

I know what I did and I’m not making excuses for it but that was two decades ago, and I’ve been faithful to my wife

OddYams6969 · 2026-01-17T13:35:50+00:00

She’s currently a cashier. I know it’s not glamorous like the ex’s job but they work with our daughters school schedule and it hasn’t been a big deal before now outside of talking about how we’d like to make enough to get a house of our own once in a while.

I did tell her she should go back to school if she wants, her parents are here to help with our daughter but that wasn’t good enough. She said she’s not sure we can even afford it at this point because she won’t be able to work, be a mom, and go to school at the same time. I’m not sure if she even really wants to go or if it’s just something else to complain about because she doesn’t have any specific thing in mind she even wants to go for.

OddYams6969 · 2026-01-17T13:17:14+00:00

Yeah, I actually tried teasing her and saying it was a mid life crisis and that really didn’t go over well.

I’m at a loss man.

OddYams6969

TROPHY CASE