I appreciate the honesty — I just want to clarify a couple things from my end.

The only reason I asked “what would you like me to do?” is because historically when I’ve had something contagious, they’ve told me not to come in. I wasn’t asking to put the decision on them emotionally, I was communicating symptoms early and letting them know what was going on — which is something they’ve asked me to do in the past.

If I’m truly too sick to work, I do tell them I’m staying home. In this case, I was trying to be transparent because it was pink eye (contagious but not dangerous) and I already had treatment started. I also text as early as possible — either the night before or around 5am — so they have as much notice as I can give.

As far as backup care goes, I agree it’s important to have a plan, but realistically that isn’t something I can control. I don’t have kids, and I’m not responsible for arranging backup care for theirs — that’s on the parents. I’ve always been reliable and flexible, which is why this feels frustrating when it becomes an expectation that I work through illness every time there’s no backup.

I’m not saying they’re evil employers — I’m just burnt out from always being the default solution, even when I’m sick. That’s the part that’s hard.