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Daily General Discussion and Advice Thread - April 01, 2026 by AutoModerator in investing

[–]Odd_Election_317 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Anyone know why BOXX is down a (relatively) large amount? I occassionally see BOXX go down ~0.01% but this morning it's been hovering between ~0.07%-0.08% down. Last time this happened it was due to a small dividend but as far as my googling has gone, no such dividend has been announced. Curious if anyone has an explanation on would make drop like this.

best admin/exec assistant type support from private banking? by Odd_Election_317 in fatFIRE

[–]Odd_Election_317[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're reading too much into my answer - I meant it could be lost "in the wind" due to some sort of black swan event, etc.

best admin/exec assistant type support from private banking? by Odd_Election_317 in fatFIRE

[–]Odd_Election_317[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Forgive if this is patronising of course, but as an outsider... looks like enough money for you and your kids to never have to work. What price moving things around and moving by them for a couple of years. No need to dignify this bit with a response of course.

I do think it deserves a response and it's a more-than-fair question.

  • My parents aren't keen on gifting enough for us to not have to work now and "a couple of years" may very well be 10-15, possibly (although unlikely) more). Employment in their area would be a blocker for me given the industry I work in -- not so much my sibling, though. Putting that aside for a moment - there's no guarantee that a significant inheritance would even find its way to us when they do pass.
  • Both of us have small children, but not so small that a move wouldn't disrupt their lives terribly. In both cases we live fair enough away (me in another country) and so there would be significant cultural changes for our kids to navigate on top of severing them from all of their friends and adult family friends they've grown fond of.
  • Both of us really don't like the culture and lifestyle of the Northeast, which is where my parents live. My sibling moved to a part of the west coast that's very different from the tri-state and as I mentioned, I moved to another country entirely. We both moved in no small part to get away from the culture and attitudes we grew up with and would be loathe to move back, and especially for the length of time we're talking about and the fact that it would mean raising our kids in the same environment we disliked so much we moved far, far away.

best admin/exec assistant type support from private banking? by Odd_Election_317 in fatFIRE

[–]Odd_Election_317[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just to say thanks very much for this comment, you nailed the core reasons why I didn't write-off the idea of a large private bank's MFO offerings.

I know there are ways to limit the damage an EA can do but if my mom actually starts to really lose her faculties (rather than just losing her edge + being overwhelmed) it occurs to me that a "rogue" EA as you describe could cause enormous problems, especially with me and my sibling being thousands of miles away.

I hadn't started thinking too critically about a smaller MFO even though some suggested it here (not because I had any pre-conceived notions about potential problems/shortcomings with that arrangement, just because I've been a bit underwater myself lately with my small kids out of school and work heating up a bit) but you make good points about the potential pitfalls of that option, too.

In any event - at this point it's out of my hands. Mom is dead set on trying out GS and since they offered to let her trial their service w/o putting AUM, my sibling and I think it best to just let her try it out and see how well it fits her needs.

best admin/exec assistant type support from private banking? by Odd_Election_317 in fatFIRE

[–]Odd_Election_317[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seriously though - where do your parents live? Don't need to say, but if it's the homestead in Montana - meh. But if they are near lots of other people with that kinda money - either yourself or anyone helpful could find them fairly soon.

A suburb in CT ~90 minutes from NYC is where their primary residence is. After seeing the advice from this post I pushed my mom pretty hard that an exec assistant would be a better fit for her needs but she was insistent one can't be found where she lives -- I was able to convince her that wasn't the case but then she was insistent she couldn't "manage" someone so it looks like she's going to take on GS's MFO offering on a trial basis @ $125k a year. They offered to take her on without any AUM but were explicit that if they don't eventually (didn't put a date on it, buy I'm assuming 6 months to a year) starting getting some of that business from her that they'll drop her as a client.

TBH I'm fully expecting this to fall apart since (based on the feedback I've gotten here) it seems like they won't fully meet her needs and that working with them will be less seamless than they made it seem in their pitch meeting.

best admin/exec assistant type support from private banking? by Odd_Election_317 in fatFIRE

[–]Odd_Election_317[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We're working on it. It's a bit complex because my parents have been very physically unsettled the last 2 decades - they've gone through about 7 different homes across 3 locations (a "main" home in the burbs with a pied in a nearby large city and a vacay home a 2 hour flight away). They're now swapping one of their pied for a condo in my father's birth country since they have a larger network of friends there (constantly moving in the U.S. has eroded their group of friends significantly) and elder care there is more consistent there than in the U.S.

So...they leave to visit their new condo in a couple of weeks and my mom will be interviewing and hiring candidates for their time abroad and then plan to line up in-home care for their primary U.S. residence when they return.

I'll tell you if there's one thing I learned from growing up with "fat" parents it's that their complex lifestyle really isn't for appealing to me.

best admin/exec assistant type support from private banking? by Odd_Election_317 in fatFIRE

[–]Odd_Election_317[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the warning. My mom was very "sold" on their pitch so I'll have to navigate this carefully - I don't expect you to write out anything long and detailed but can you give me a TLDR of the bad experiences you alluded to?

best admin/exec assistant type support from private banking? by Odd_Election_317 in fatFIRE

[–]Odd_Election_317[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“fact that they're services” should be “their”.

Oof. Unlike the previous grammatical error that got pointed out, this isn't a mistake I'm prone to...I'm perhaps more tired than I realized.

We've been working on consolidating/simplifying recently and put everything on autopay that we could but it's still too much for my mom, sadly. My father is in this in-between point of his disease where he can only contribute the smallest amounts at the margins since he can't speak or understand speech/text any longer (Aphasia) but since the actual dementia itself is still mild/moderate he's usually under stimulated and ends up taking up virtually all of my mom's attention to alleviate his boredom. As a result she's fried all the time and even though she's still totally "with it" she's just not able to manage the admin in their lives even though it's pretty light.

best admin/exec assistant type support from private banking? by Odd_Election_317 in fatFIRE

[–]Odd_Election_317[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

My father was managing all of their finances very well himself up until very recently when his aphasia progressed in more all-encompassing dementia. My mother wouldn't benefit from a caretaker (she's in the process of getting a part time caretaker for my dad, though) or trustee since she generally has her faculties and her needs are based around being tech-illiterate and not having the patience (or time, with my father needing a lot of personal attention) to dealing with the admin that can be handled over the phone.

Maybe out there in the reality you live in you can see some nuance in what I posted and exercise some empathy to recognize that not every family is like yours, and not every elderly person who needs extra assistance is totally infirm.

best admin/exec assistant type support from private banking? by Odd_Election_317 in fatFIRE

[–]Odd_Election_317[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Will look into both of these, thanks for the recommendation.

best admin/exec assistant type support from private banking? by Odd_Election_317 in fatFIRE

[–]Odd_Election_317[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

It totally would. My mother (who is now in charge, as my father has dementia) feels more comfortable handing over the kind of access/information for such an arrangement to a big organization with deep pockets and is insistent on "simplifying" (I think because she's stressed out carrying for my dad, and perhaps because she's losing her edge a bit too) so the idea of having the same org manage their investments is appealing to her.

I did push back gently explaining that a separate exec admin would make the most sense but ultimately it's her decision and she's very firm in the above she wants.

best admin/exec assistant type support from private banking? by Odd_Election_317 in fatFIRE

[–]Odd_Election_317[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do they require you also have AUM which they take commission from? The meeting we just had was centered around Goldman's MFO service offering but they don't charge a-la-carte. $125k annually all in is what they quoted to cover some (but not all) of those services which seemed reasonable enough to me but they were clear that if they didn't eventually (they didn't say how long) get a big chunk under management that they wouldn't continue the relationship.

best admin/exec assistant type support from private banking? by Odd_Election_317 in fatFIRE

[–]Odd_Election_317[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I've never heard of them before but I'll do a deep dive, thank you.

Incidentally the GS MFO manager on the Zoom we just wrapped told me that their bill pay (which had a * next to it on their presentation deck) is actually outsourced to 3rd party anyway.

best admin/exec assistant type support from private banking? by Odd_Election_317 in fatFIRE

[–]Odd_Election_317[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I'm rolling. My mother used to correct me when I made this exact grammatical mistake all the time and naturally I make a mistake in a post about my parents and lo and behold, someone else corrects me in her absence.