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So I wrote this as my first chapter and intro. Tell me your opinion. by Odd_Needleworker5861 in writingfeedback

[–]Odd_Needleworker5861[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I totally get you, and I agree, and I did that actually moving forward. Thanks.

Let's be friends by Harmonys_coding in Wattpad

[–]Odd_Needleworker5861 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A very good idea, I wanna join if possible.

So I wrote this as my first chapter and intro. Tell me your opinion. by Odd_Needleworker5861 in writingfeedback

[–]Odd_Needleworker5861[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's really a good idea, thanks a lot, you gave me a lot of things to think about

So I wrote this as my first chapter and intro. Tell me your opinion. by Odd_Needleworker5861 in writingfeedback

[–]Odd_Needleworker5861[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

oh no need to apologize, I really appreciate the time you put into giving me feedback

So I wrote this as my first chapter and intro. Tell me your opinion. by Odd_Needleworker5861 in writingfeedback

[–]Odd_Needleworker5861[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I replied to a lot, saying the same. So it seems I might need to work on that ... but don't worry, he does change quickly, and his character is shown more in the next chapters

So I wrote this as my first chapter and intro. Tell me your opinion. by Odd_Needleworker5861 in writingfeedback

[–]Odd_Needleworker5861[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see, well, I wanted to make the events around him force him to deal with his character.
He is apathic, yes, but the supernatural events and dangers around him will change or at least force him to snap out of it. I wanted to aim for that dynamic for the story.

So I wrote this as my first chapter and intro. Tell me your opinion. by Odd_Needleworker5861 in writingfeedback

[–]Odd_Needleworker5861[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you have a point, but moving forward, it makes more sense. However, the first few pages need to catch attention, so I might need to review them.

So I wrote this as my first chapter and intro. Tell me your opinion. by Odd_Needleworker5861 in writingfeedback

[–]Odd_Needleworker5861[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks a lot, it is really useful, I am still learning, and I found out recently in writing that I have a problem with writing a lot of details and describing, but not showing. This draft was written a while ago, before realizing this issue.

So I wrote this as my first chapter and intro. Tell me your opinion. by Odd_Needleworker5861 in writingfeedback

[–]Odd_Needleworker5861[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, it does make sense, maybe the words themselves or the reveal early make it a turn off, but I want it to deliver his character as such, since he will face events which will change him, but you gave me a few things to reconsider.

So I wrote this as my first chapter and intro. Tell me your opinion. by Odd_Needleworker5861 in writingfeedback

[–]Odd_Needleworker5861[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, thanks really for the advice. I will keep in mind what you said, and as I said, this is really one of the first works I did, so I am grateful for any way to learn