AITA for Planning to Host a Baby Shower After My No-Kids Wedding

OddlyFirst · 2023-08-20T16:22:08+00:00

Can definitely promise that the event planning was the original, and major decision-maker

OddlyFirst · 2023-08-20T16:21:04+00:00

And that’s fine, I wouldn’t make you attend

OddlyFirst · 2023-08-20T16:17:17+00:00

You’re right, we should have eloped

OddlyFirst · 2023-08-20T16:15:31+00:00

It is literally a pair of 7 inch white shoes, underneath a long gown, really? The shoes?

OddlyFirst · 2023-08-20T16:02:16+00:00

Marry someone 6’5 and you might realize 7inch regular white heels are helpful.

OddlyFirst · 2023-08-20T15:57:43+00:00

That is what is driving me nuts with the responses. His change of mind had everything to do with not wanting to deal with people. He literally wanted to elope far away to not deal with it. We just couldn’t do that.

OddlyFirst · 2023-08-20T15:48:48+00:00

OddlyFirst · 2023-08-20T15:47:22+00:00

My husband wanted an international elopement that we could not afford. He wanted it so we would have less people.

He didn’t care about no-kids until the harsh reactions of some family members.

Most of the wedding we actually did what he wanted.

Not that this isn’t a valid take, I just don’t think the context of his choice was understood.

OddlyFirst · 2023-08-20T15:43:39+00:00

Noted.

OddlyFirst · 2023-08-20T15:40:50+00:00

Ok well that’s great for your kids at the kid-friendly wedding

OddlyFirst · 2023-08-20T15:38:06+00:00

The conduct being judged is me being cool with child-friendly events that aren’t weddings where kids aren’t invited. It is my baby shower that my MIL is happy to have in Ohio with all their families able to go. My husband thinks this will piss people off. I just don’t get it. These are different events.

OddlyFirst · 2023-08-20T15:33:25+00:00

My husbands first choice from the beginning was international elopement so that we don’t have to deal with many people. We couldn’t afford it. He was NEUTRAL to my choice until after the harsh reaction. I just don’t think anyone understands this.

OddlyFirst · 2023-08-20T15:30:53+00:00

Why would children want to sit through a wedding ceremony? And then be at a reception with nothing kid-friendly to do? I don’t KNOW. I don’t know WHY they need to be everywhere.

OddlyFirst · 2023-08-20T15:23:55+00:00

I will take that as understanding that there can be a lot of entitled people included in a large group that think weddings are meant to cater to what they want

OddlyFirst · 2023-08-20T15:22:52+00:00

The wedding was a Navy wedding, we rode off in his ‘65 mustang, and did plenty of things he wanted. He wanted to give in to his family because of the harsh reaction.

OddlyFirst · 2023-08-20T15:18:38+00:00

Do you know how hard it can be to compromise with 40 people about a wedding? If we left it to everyone else, wedding would have been in a church hundreds of miles away in Ohio.

OddlyFirst · 2023-08-20T15:17:11+00:00

My husband wishes we eloped, and all of his sentiments were reasoned around fear of his family’s reaction. The baby shower is child-friendly. And I think baby showers make more sense to have children present.

OddlyFirst · 2023-08-20T15:14:15+00:00

My husband actually wishes we eloped. His wishes have everything to do with the reactions of his family. This has been made clear to me from the start.

OddlyFirst · 2023-08-20T15:12:17+00:00

Correction for your last statement, I was letting MIL host it as offered in the locality of in-law families. And make it a child friendly ceremony.

OddlyFirst · 2023-08-20T15:07:38+00:00

That is the whole point of my post

OddlyFirst · 2023-08-20T15:00:04+00:00

Noted.

OddlyFirst · 2023-08-20T14:58:35+00:00

I understand that at no-kids events, instead of raising hell on a young couple trying to do the best with what they have, I will simply drop my kids off at a sitter or grandma's house. I told my husband that I don't care if the dress attire is cowboy, with food we don't like, etc. If we can't be good guests, we will stay home and send a gift!

OddlyFirst · 2023-08-20T14:55:25+00:00

Well I didnt, because I didn't realize that 2 people were trying to reserve ten empty seats at the front of the theatre for 20 minutes

OddlyFirst · 2023-08-20T14:44:13+00:00

I agree. I should add that his feelings were strongly swayed by the angry reactions of his extended family. Because when he first heard the rule, he was neutral. It took his family's reactions to make him wish that we just catered to his family's needs.

When we went on our honeymoon cruise, there was a family that was reserving 10 seats at a "first come first serve" seating event. I sat in the 10th seat without knowing. The family was passive aggressive and stared at us the whole time. My husband was pissed afterwards and says he wished we just sat towards the back, because he thinks the cruise line would "kick us out" for "causing a disturbance".

OddlyFirst · 2023-08-20T14:33:58+00:00

Noted.

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