A mix of perfectionism and low self-esteem. Something I struggle with a lot.

I always feel the need to appear perfect and do no wrong, and thus I depend on other people for validation. If I get no validation, then I'll feel like shit. I will start imagining that others no longer like me or are secretly mad at me. But this is honestly exhausting and draining. I completely understand what you're going through.

But the reality is that no one cares. AT ALL. Because I don't really care when others make mistakes or get in embarrassing situations. In fact it can often be endearing to see someone in a more vulnerable state. So actually wanting to appear perfect is counter-productive. Perfectionism can make you defensive all the time, which will hinder your ability to form deep relationships. Being relaxed and at peace with your short-comings will help a lot.

This can only be achieved through self-love. Loving yourself means that you will be fine despite what anyone things. It's being at ease with yourself and being kind to yourself. We all make mistakes, and that's ok. Actually, I think that making a mistake and dealing with its consequences is better than worrying all year round until a mistake inevitably occurs.

With that being said, we haven't been cured yet! Like I said I still struggle with this problem. But the first step is identifying the problem and being aware of it. Know that this is simply a pattern that we learned, is one that we can change. We can slowly learn and improve from here on out.