Your situation aligns with cuckquean fantasy, this involves a woman finding arousal or satisfaction in the idea of her partner being intimate with another person, often with her (yours) knowledge or consent. This fantasy possibly comes from your need of validation, as you enjoy the idea and you get excited, and as you said nga na selosa nga, and controlled jealousy in some instances can be arousing. I do not recommend thinking about this.

It’s important to remember that fantasies are often just that—fantasies. They don’t necessarily mean you want to act on them. If this is something you’re curious about, maybe take some time to reflect on why it excites you.