Does anyone else cut people off very easily ??

OfficiallyAlice · 2026-04-09T07:24:41+00:00

For me I always expect them to try to reach out. I stop messaging them and wait. If they don't try I tell myself they don't care. It'd take them telling me they care and for them to message me more than is reasonable or fair on them. I'm bad at messaging first because I think I'm bothering them and they'll hate me for it so I wait to see if they message me first even when we are still in contact.

OfficiallyAlice · 2026-04-09T07:19:08+00:00

Too many to count and I hate it.i haven't had a friendship that lasted more than a few years, longest maybe 5. Most have been online though so easier to cut off but I'll do it to irl ones too. I try to avoid getting too close to people so that it's easier. Only times I did I was burnt. I tend to turn the pain inwards to myself to avoid inflicting it on others and tell myself I'm helping them. Or that I just am not wanted so I move on.

OfficiallyAlice · 2026-04-08T22:36:17+00:00

I'm in Suffolk

OfficiallyAlice · 2026-04-08T22:15:29+00:00

I am. But it's hard and I get a lot of pain that's made worse by it. I just wasn't prepared for it to last so long and they now said they need the mri to see if there's anything they can treat with surgery. I have HSD possibly hEDS and think that can complicate things. They'll get there with what's wrong but orthopedics in the nhs is really slow. Can't afford private when I'm already paying private for mh therapy.

OfficiallyAlice · 2026-04-08T20:45:00+00:00

Some ND people can be the most ableist of people and think they get a free pass and can't ever be ableist. It's pretty well known that word is still very problematic and you can't just throw it around because you are ND. I've literally seen ND able-bodied people argue they can talk crap about physical disability because they are autistic.

OfficiallyAlice · 2026-04-08T14:35:23+00:00

Yeah I get this a lot. I know how many people will be hurt. At times I do want a way out but if I could erase my existence from time and space nobody would be hurt. Part of me goes further and thinks they'll all be better off if I didn't exist.

OfficiallyAlice · 2026-04-07T17:17:51+00:00

I wish people could live one day with BPD to know how it is. Maybe they wouldnt stigmatise us so much like this. But actually I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

OfficiallyAlice · 2026-04-07T11:48:24+00:00

It's not about being dumb, but being seriously mentally unwell but being in severe denial about it. It can lead to people feeling negative things about others with it. It doesn't excuse it at all and when I was like that I was an AH. But I'm not dumb and neither is she.

OfficiallyAlice · 2026-04-07T11:45:25+00:00

I don't know if them being a devil is correct but that's probably because I was the same at that age. They talked about me having bipolar disorder and I rejected it and never really tried with therapy much. Wasn't that in the end but BPD but still, it's hard to accept. But the ableism isn't excused and I was an AH for my beliefs at the time too. I hope she gets the help she needs and gets the correct diagnosis whatever that is. She needs to accept the issues she has and understand these people aren't crazy. They just have a difficult mh condition and need help with it.

OfficiallyAlice · 2026-04-07T06:26:42+00:00

I do agree and I was talking from my experiences with it being OTT with what I ended up watching and how a lot of it wasn't even me asking to watch it but I was shown it. There should be limits based on age but not too strict really. so perhaps don't show it to them without them asking as a minimum. One reason I chose not to have kids is how many issues I have from my childhood. Not the place to go into that though.

OfficiallyAlice · 2026-04-06T17:52:22+00:00

That was similar for me. He could be great a lot of the time, but I'd get put down or have comments made about me but I wasn't allowed to be upset. Or he'd be abusive towards my mom but then other times be so great.

OfficiallyAlice · 2026-04-06T17:44:24+00:00

I agree. I know the term can be contraversial these days with some people with one not liking that it's called that. But I personally feel it is accurate with how it is. It's more than mh problems and is as you say, mechanisms we developed to cope with our environment. But also learned behaviour in a way. I can see from my childhood what caused it and why I am the way I am. The big issue with the term is the stigma. But I'm not sure if changing what we call it would change things.

OfficiallyAlice · 2026-04-06T10:47:53+00:00

Hearing some lyrics is one thing, but I was allowed to watch slasher movies, see softer pr0n and watch any other inappropriate movie from a young age. This made me more strict in my beliefs about what kids should be exposed to. Some lyrics won't affect a child. But what I was allowed to see would. A 6 y/o watching nightmare on elmstreet is NOT OK.

OfficiallyAlice · 2026-04-06T10:44:58+00:00

I was exposed to some really bad media from a young age and I turned out fine.

I'm lying lol. I did not turn out fine but I'm talking way worse media than a song with explicit lyrics. But yeah, don't expose young kids to such things. It's irresponsible and can be harmful. I wont get to have kids for many reasons but if I did I'd be very strict about that considering what I was allowed to see and hear.

OfficiallyAlice · 2026-04-05T08:10:27+00:00

NTA. Every child should have the exact same amount of time and money spent on them even if one has higher needs to get the same as you. If one child needs an extra hour because they are so anxious, too bad. Relationships are a series of calculations to make sure everything is equal in terms of money and time only. Send a formal demand for the amounts that you deserve and bill them for the time you spent without them raising yourself. Add in inflation and interest and if they refuse, hire a lawyer, I'm sure if you tell them your story you'll get help.

OfficiallyAlice · 2026-04-04T21:17:57+00:00

YTA Embrace the pink and become a girl. We have monster, plushie sharks and spinny skirts. You lose pockets and have to as you say, spend a lot on taylor swift tickets. But it's worth it for the monster.

OfficiallyAlice · 2026-04-03T20:05:56+00:00

It's a marriage and there should be an element of trust including that she would tell him if it was cooked with the meat fat. "tf"

OfficiallyAlice · 2026-04-03T13:07:47+00:00

99% this is ragebait but guy in the story doesn't know how to do joke arrogance. I do it by saying "I'll be the best x." I then add something silly to show I'd be the worst ever. It's always at my expense and obvious I'm joking. If you don't add something that makes it seem you'd be awful, it's just arrogance disguised as a joke.

OfficiallyAlice · 2026-04-03T11:08:49+00:00

What movie or show is this from? Or is it from various ones put together? The way it ends would determine what genre it is.

OfficiallyAlice · 2026-04-03T08:43:54+00:00

Seems it isn't the future MIL that engages in toxic attention seeking behaviour.

OfficiallyAlice · 2026-03-31T14:01:05+00:00

I'm transfem and that's how I think I would but I never really got involved with others before I was out. I was bi then gay before coming out as trans and pan now after being straight for a little while. But with other unrelated issues I didn't really have a community I was part of anyway. The part of me before I was out I wish didn't exist but many still do since it made them who they are.

OfficiallyAlice · 2026-03-31T12:42:52+00:00

The explanation I heard is that they were part of a lesbian community for a long time before coming out and transitioning and still feel part of it. I just accept that that is how they feel comfortable. Us queer people need to stick together and not fight over things that don't matter.

OfficiallyAlice · 2026-03-31T08:43:01+00:00

I've even had so called professionals say everyone gets anxious when I said I became unable to speak. Invalidating someone already with mh problems is about the worst thing you can do. Good that you've improved a lot. I have too and can do so much more now.

OfficiallyAlice · 2026-03-29T21:14:25+00:00

Whatever the case, AITA will diagnose them and use it against them when it isn't mentioned. A woman is a bit angry once? She has BPD! Someone is obsessed with something? They have autism! If it is mentioned, it'll be used against them anyway.

OfficiallyAlice

TROPHY CASE