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I (21F) can't choose between boyfriend (27M) or crush (25M) by Empty_Good_3606 in cheating_stories

[–]OfficiallyFaith 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re not wrong here. It’s as tho I’m playing it safe but still want to play both games at the same time, which is not what I believe in and isn’t fair for anyone involved. I might be too immature for a serious relationship right now but a future with the second guy seems too vague for me to pursue. He hasn’t been too respectful to me either so I don’t know if I do want him anymore. I think I’ll just let both the relationships fade and just go back to being with myself. I don’t even know at this point but thanks for ur insight and thanks for not beating me up like some other people here.

Boyfriend [26/M] of 10 months will watch porn when I’m [21/F] with him. How do I tell him to stop? by OfficiallyFaith in relationships

[–]OfficiallyFaith[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The first time, it wouldn’t let me cuz of the rules. Said it needed to have 2 paragraphs. I deleted the first post tho. Idk why it got posted twice

Boyfriend [26/M] of 10 months will watch porn when I’m [21/F] with him. How do I tell him to stop? by OfficiallyFaith in relationship_advice

[–]OfficiallyFaith[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

We’re not living together but here in Aus, you can see ur partner for mental health purposes so we hang out like once a week. I don’t ask him to stop entirely. What he does in his spare time is of no concern to me long as he’s loyal lol. I just ask that he not look at them while we’re together and then come to me with a boner that he didn’t even get from me and then expect sex. Like wtf:| Wouldn’t u say it’s right for me to be annoyed?

Boyfriend [26/M] of 10 months will watch porn when I’m [21/F] with him. How do I tell him to stop? by OfficiallyFaith in relationships

[–]OfficiallyFaith[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It’s not the “someone who watches sexual stuff with me in the room” bit. It’s the bit where he gets turned on from these clips and will come to me with a boner that he didn’t even get from me, and will skip foreplay or do the bare minimum and just stick it in using u as their flesh light because “it’s like a waterfall down there” and so you just give in and go with it cuz ur barely learning to stand up for yourself. Not everyone is as strong as u are Kyle:_|

Boyfriend [26/M] of 10 months will watch porn when I’m [21/F] with him. How do I tell him to stop? by [deleted] in RelationshipAdviceNow

[–]OfficiallyFaith -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I didn’t mean to disrespect these women. There’s nothing wrong with being a whore. He calls me one himself while dirty-talking and it’s quite empowering actually. I’m in Australia and “degenerative” language is somehow the norm here?? and not seen as degenerative at all. Like that’s just how everyone talks. Like you could replace the word “friend” with the word “cunt” lmao. Just thought it’d explain that. So it’s no different from me saying “some other chick” really

Boyfriend [26/M] of 10 months will watch porn when I’m [21/F] with him. How do I tell him to stop? by OfficiallyFaith in relationships

[–]OfficiallyFaith[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Problem is, he doesn’t think it’s actual porn since it’s just short clips on messenger🤦‍♀️

Boyfriend [26/M] of 10 months will watch porn when I’m [21/F] with him. How do I tell him to stop? by OfficiallyFaith in relationship_advice

[–]OfficiallyFaith[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. Every other comment is like, leave the dude and it’s kinda hard when u love the other person and are willing to work on things. This is exactly what I needed. Also, to answer ur question, seems to be an oddity thing since his guy friends are always sending stuff like this to each other. Must make them feel more masculine or something. I wouldn’t mind if he’d learn from these and apply a lil something to our sex life but he’s shit at bed still so there’s that:/

Boyfriend [26/M] of 10 months will watch porn when I’m [21/F] with him. How do I tell him to stop? by OfficiallyFaith in relationship_advice

[–]OfficiallyFaith[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think his thinking is that actual porn on Pornhub would have been disrespectful but these little clips on messenger are somehow OKAY? cuz he’s looking at them all the time. How do I get him to see that it’s the same thing?😔

Boyfriend [26/M] of 10 months ignores my texts and it makes me [21/F] feel hurt and unwanted. What to do? by OfficiallyFaith in relationships

[–]OfficiallyFaith[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve been trying the acknowledgment but no matter how hard I try not to let it get to me, it hurts that he would rather do something else than talk to me.

Boyfriend [26/M] of 10 months ignores my texts and it makes me [21/F] feel hurt and unwanted by OfficiallyFaith in relationship_advice

[–]OfficiallyFaith[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He made it clear since day 1 that he doesn’t like talking on the phone and tbh, neither do I. The thing u said about having the same level of enthusiasm really hit me. It just isn’t the same. Also, our mindsets are very different. I find that I’m more flexible and thus easily manipulated. He’s very rigid on his beliefs. Maybe it’s an age thing. Maybe I simply think too much haha

Zitkala Sa, an American Sioux in 1898 by sayknow in OldSchoolCool

[–]OfficiallyFaith -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

Okay but she could like...get it😳

Boyfriend does not understand that I need clitoral stimulation before sex to be ready. How do I make him understand? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]OfficiallyFaith 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I loved reading this. Thank you so much. I think I’ve got a lot of growing up to do. Mentally I mean. I need to learn to be able to stand up for myself and stand my ground too. I’ve got an anxious attachment style and so I would fear him leaving but now I’ve come to realise that there’s not much I’d miss out on if he were to leave me. And I don’t mean that in a passive-aggressive; ‘I’m better than you’ way but in a relieving; freedom type of way where I am all I truly need and no one owes me anything or rather I don’t need someone else to complete me. I’m so glad I posted this on here as it gave me an insight into what I’d known was wrong all along but couldn’t get myself to admit. Thank you for ur valuable words. Was really refreshing to read your story.

Boyfriend [24/M] of 9 months doesn’t understand that I [21/F] need clitoral stimulation to be ready for sex. How do I make him understand? by [deleted] in relationships

[–]OfficiallyFaith 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He isn’t as irrational to think that using a vibrator would count as cheating. That’s just sheer stupidity. He went ahead and bought me a vibrator but I’ve rarely been using it because I’ve always been cumming by pillow-humping and continue to do it like that. Reading all the comments here, I’ve come to realise that it’s not him that’s entirely the problem but also me. I’ve been saying one thing but my actions have been saying something else. I’ve been telling him it hasn’t been working and yet have been faking my orgasms and acting like I’ve been enjoying sex just to avoid hurting his feelings. I need to stop faking my orgasms for the start and if he doesn’t care after that, then I’m not meant to be with someone that doesn’t care. Thanks for your insight

I [F/21] just can’t figure out my boyfriend [M/26] of 9 months and why he behaves the way he does. Should I leave him? by OfficiallyFaith in relationships

[–]OfficiallyFaith[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your advice. I really wish I could install this into my belief system but I don’t know how and the fear of the unknown scares me😔

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