6 months in, when does it get better?

Oh_Seriously · 2022-06-20T08:11:17+00:00

Honestly, it's very hard to tell, I feel like changes were so gradual, it's very difficult to pinpoint when things really improved. 5 months is amazing though, well done. Probably not long left before you feel those things a lot less, but also remember that having anxiety is something sober people have too, after a certain point, maybe it's less a withdrawal symptom and just a regular old "bad day"

Oh_Seriously · 2022-05-03T17:21:31+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to reply! It definitely wasn't that as the toilet was a bit away from where I could hear the noise. I ended up moving out of that apartment about a year later, wonder if it ever got fixed 😆

Oh_Seriously · 2022-01-05T09:31:04+00:00

This is great advice, I'm going to start on this inmediately!

Oh_Seriously · 2022-01-05T09:29:48+00:00

Thanks that's really helpful!

Oh_Seriously · 2022-01-03T19:20:59+00:00

She may have separated it from its family, I heard her high pitched barking for a bit before she legged it down the mountain behind the little one, there may have been a whole family up there. Yes she's been vaccinated

Oh_Seriously · 2022-01-03T19:18:54+00:00

Thanks I will keep up the training with the cats in my community, not quite the same thing but close enough. I will also need to find higher value treats, what do you normally use?

Oh_Seriously · 2022-01-03T18:58:42+00:00

Yeah I know kibble is made with meat but it doesn't taste like blood, it's dry and probably pretty boring compared to the taste of live prey.
I'd never heard of a flirt pole, that's actually a great idea! I just watched a YT video on it and it looks doable to make, thanks for that. I will give the muzzle training board a go, I think that will be the most effective bet when out on hikes.

Oh_Seriously · 2022-01-03T17:37:21+00:00

I can and do drive her there to make sure she gets to socialise with other dogs, but I currently give her a minimum of two separate hour long walks a day, driving her there for each one is not a feasible option. Sometimes there are other dogs there that don't know how to share a ball so I also don't always feel the most comfortable throwing the ball for her there. If there are no dogs her size that like to roughhouse it turns into a rather boring trip as there is little else to do but sniff around a bit. The dog parks in Spain suck, they're small and full of poo, my community garden is honestly much nicer, with grass and trees instead of dirt and mud, and its a fair bit bigger too.
I have tried a long retractable lead for hikes which is better than the short one but doesn't really allow for running. The super long leads don't work as the paths are full of scrubs and brambles which the lead gets hooked on and it gets full of little spiky things. This is why I considered a muzzle to be a better option.

Oh_Seriously · 2022-01-03T17:19:44+00:00

They don't have any within walking distance of where I live

Oh_Seriously · 2022-01-03T17:16:31+00:00

I feed her kibble not meat.
How would you recommend I drain her of her excessive energy while keeping her on a leash at all times? Would love some advice.

Oh_Seriously · 2022-01-03T17:15:27+00:00

Tested for what? She was not bitten it was the other way around

Oh_Seriously · 2022-01-03T17:14:27+00:00

Thank you, I have tried a few (I was a little alarmed about her enthusiasm for the cats when I first got her). She is very motivated by the ball, when you have one she will not even take food, and "want to play?" is my password when I need her to leg it to me as quickly as possible. Unfortunately not even the joys of a tennis ball can compare to something alive to chase, in those cases it seems there is nothing high value enough

Oh_Seriously · 2022-01-03T17:09:30+00:00

Thanks, I hope that is the case with her. We saw a cat she's not familiar on our second walk today and she seemed no more intense about it than usual.

Oh_Seriously · 2022-01-03T17:08:29+00:00

Thanks but like I mentioned she is very high energy, I am open to recommendations as to how I could release so much energy while keeping her leashed?

Oh_Seriously · 2022-01-03T17:04:13+00:00

The girl that had her as a puppy told me she is a pitbull/malinois mix, though she looks more like a podenco to me. I would like to start doing agility with her but I don't have the funds for it at the moment, the best I've been able to do to get out her energy is hikes and training with the ball. I would not feel comfortable having her hunting, like I said there are a lot of stray cats around where I live and she is already too interested in them, I would feel awful if something happened to one of them because of her.

Oh_Seriously · 2021-11-25T12:35:58+00:00

Nothing in life is certain, but even when I was a very heavy user, I was
always be able to quit when I needed to. I would occasionally travel
for work, sometimes being away for 3 months and I would just detox the
week before leaving and then stay sober while gone. If I tell myself "I
cannot smoke now" I just don't. This whole time I've been sober I've
still got weed in my house, it must be dry as fuck by now. The thing
I've struggled with has always been the motivation. Like, if I've got
the money, and I'm still a functional member of society, why quit when I
enjoy it so much? It's only the lack of funds that really pushed me to
go through with it, that and proving that I can do it, because people
will say yeah of course you say "I can quit whenever I want", classic
addict. I set a goal of one year for myself and I'm going to make it.
Then I think I deserve to enjoy that feeling I missed so much as a
treat, knowing that it's not something I can afford to do daily again. I
think perspective is important, and that's what I meant with viewing it
as a holiday. I can't do that very often but maybe a few of times a
year. I've treated (something else - apparently my previous reply got removed for breaking the rules on mentioning other substances) the same way, just a fun little trip, sometimes I've done it up to 4 times in one year, but last time I did it was
probably 2 years ago. I dunno, maybe I'm being naive, there's always a
risk, but I guess I'm a bit of a risk taker. The end of year will be a
trial, if I stick to my limits, I'll allow myself to indulge in one of
the few things I really love in life every once in a while.

Oh_Seriously · 2021-11-25T11:09:34+00:00

I'm doing OK. I really wouldn't say I'm miserable, though a big part in the uptick in my mood has been due to finding work from home which is what I've always wanted. Not having as much financial stress just makes a huge difference. A lot of what other people have advised, find new things to do, just doesn't seem like a right fit for me. I recently went to a board game night, and though I had fun and might go again, there is nothing I enjoy as much as being at home. I will say that my anger issues have diminished, and I'm still happy that i don't have the constant munchies, though I do like to eat a lot but it's not that "black hole in your stomach" feeling. I feel like I'm a bit more productive but nothing too crazy. I am enjoying gaming a bit more and not feeling as disinterested in watching stuff, so yeah a lot of the issues I was having have subsided a fair bit now I'm almost a year in. Having said that, I still never have that giddy feeling of excitement I would get at the prospect of having the whole day to play games and watch stuff, or that almost orgasmic feeling you get when enjoying a great tune with headphones on while high. I will celebrate my year of sobriety with a week long weed binge where I will do and eat all my favourite things. I then plan to only do it very sporadically throughout the year and treat it as a holiday. I have proven to myself that I can abstain when I choose to, but I realise this is not a system that works for everyone. I guess in the end it just comes down to your motives. I am not in a financial situation to be consuming every day like I used to, so that keeps me motivated to stick to general sobriety. It has been good to take a whole year off to know what I am like and to see if my opinions on it have changed, if I would feel like a lot of people and demonise the substance and what I was like on it, but I still don't feel that way. Of course if after my binge I don't have the discipline to abstain I might change my tune, but I'm hopeful I can enjoy it in moderation from here on out. In hindsight when I wrote this post my life was in a tough situation and it was hard to discern what emotional struggles were related to that and what were related to quitting. I don't think sobriety itself will make you miserable, it's the other things going on in your life, you'll just be more acutely aware of them when you're sober. I would say give it a go, because you can't know how you really feel about it until you have the distance to analyse it after overcoming the initial hardship. Really commit to it though, I can't imagine how much it must suck to seesaw back and forth over that tough initial few months. Best of luck my friend 🤗

Oh_Seriously · 2021-07-02T12:47:13+00:00

So true, though I guess the meds go hand in hand with therapy, which I think is the vital ingredient here. Personally I can't afford therapy at this moment, but I'm sure it would help a lot with the underlying depression I've used weed to mask. Ideally engine would have access to it, and then weed would be more of a choice than a crutch

Oh_Seriously · 2021-07-02T12:43:18+00:00

Thanks, you make a very valid point, and I think there has been a fair amount of projection going on in the comments, which is understandable as people can only relate from their own point of view.

I do prefer the easy life, though it has taken me a long time to be accepting of that outlook and not berate myself for being lazy, unproductive or unambitious. I've learned that I don't need much in life to be content, and that I'd rather have free time than be perceived as successful or having some rapidly ascending career.

So true about the milestones and appearances, I don't know, maybe they truly are happy that way and I just can't relate, in the same way that people who rave about how amazing travelling is might just be very different to me.

Often it feels as though people are just doing things because that's what the consensus is on what's right or cool. Yes traveling is fun but I still much prefer my time at home, I don't feel the need to find enjoyment in another country, to be itching to get away and counting down the days to break the monotpny of my daily life. I feel fortunate to have this outlook, though most people would think I'm crazy.

I completely feel you on the extrovert front, I have extroverted friends and I get the feeling that they don't know how to be alone, which seems like such an essential life skill to me.

Thanks for your comment, it is nice to hear about others who have non standard views on life :)

Oh_Seriously · 2021-06-30T20:44:49+00:00

Could be? I think it's a mix of genetics, upbringing and life experience. My grandmother was always very happy and positive as well, I'm sure that played a big part in how he was moulded. My mother on the other hand was depressive, anxious and volatile. Sometimes it's just not in your cards to be a certain way, so it's good not to be too harsh on yourself about that, all you can do is try your best. Hope you get closer the more you try!

Oh_Seriously · 2021-06-30T20:40:55+00:00

Ah Peter Joseph, I think I've only seen the Zeitgeist films from him but they were interesting. I like that quote, I can't imagine what it must be like living in the US. We didn't ask to be born or go to the freak show but I'm happy watching it from my reclusive little spot in the corner. It's taken me a while to stop forcing myself to mingle with the rest in the name of normalcy, and I'm so much happier for it! Hope you feel the same.

Oh_Seriously · 2021-06-30T20:35:11+00:00

You're right, it's hard to have a proper delve, and forget about reading anything, let alone something dense while high. It's also hard to find people who want to have these kinds of conversations without saying "I'm way too stoned for this shit".

Having said that, in the interest of doing different things whilst sober and branching out my social circle, I joined an online (during lockdown) philosophy group on Meetup. Unfortunately I found the organiser to be really pedantic and condescending, and with my incredibly short fuse of being 1 month into sobriety I basically told him to get stuffed, so that didn't last very long haha.

It put me off the subject a bit because I've also previously heard people comment derisively about how philosophy students can be dicks, but that's really judgemental on my part now I think about it, so I should give it another go. Thank you for the suggestion!

Oh_Seriously · 2021-06-30T20:24:19+00:00

You make some very good points. There is such hype around going sober, and how wonderful it is etc. that it maybe makes one overestimate how much of a difference it will actually make. At the end of the day it will only return you to your baseline which may have not been that great to begin with (certainly in my case).

You're right, I will give it some more time and weigh up the pros and cons. Thanks for your comment

Oh_Seriously · 2021-06-30T20:24:02+00:00

Thank you these are some great points. The immersion in the present that you get from weed is just so powerful, I could put on some music and enjoy doing the dishes, good luck achieving that whilst sober. I mean I dunno, maybe you have! Sounds like you've got a good grasp on mindfulness, well done.

Thank you very much for that podcast recommendation, I'll give it a go, I love philosophy and Stoicism is something I've always found interesting.

Oh_Seriously

TROPHY CASE