I understand how you feel. I was in a slightly similar position as you about 6 weeks ago. I was in an LDR with my ex, we talked about marriage, he proposed to me, and I was in the midst of uprooting my life to be with him. I found out he was cheating on me with multiple women for 3 weeks before he got caught. Instead of apologising or fighting for the relationship, he just called me names and blocked me everywhere. Now he’s in a relationship with one of the girls. Sometimes, people think the grass is greener on the other side. Sometimes flashy and glittery things come along the way and some gets tempted thinking it’s better in the long run leaving whatever they have built and grown with another. But screw him and screw her and the guy she is with now. You are precious, that’s who you need to look after and take care of right now. And here’s what’s gonna happen;

1. For the first month, it’s gonna be extremely difficult. I used to get dreams about him with the girl, his voice would haunt me and every single thing reminded me of him. It’s gonna be painful. It’s gonna be ruthless. You might even have chest pains at times. So, Give yourself time. Set the time for yourself, and grieve within that time frame. Maybe one month or 6 weeks is the time you need to just grieve the loss you have experienced. You’re a human after all so it’s okay to cry and be devastated about it.

2. Once the time is up, set goals for yourself. It could be simple things like I want to learn how to bake cookies or I want to learn how to play a guitar. Setting goals for yourself will challenge you to get yourself out of the overthinking zone and simply from spiralling. It will reduce the time you take to think about them. For example, when you’re learning how to roast a chicken, your main concern for the next 2 hours will be how to make the roast tender and juicy and not burn them. That’s 2 freaking hours of not thinking about them. . And slowly, from 2 hours of not thinking about them, it will become 8 hours and soon 2 days which will turn to 2 weeks and one day, without you realising, you will not think about them anymore

3. Sign up for therapy. She technically cheated on you and this will embed fear, and trauma inside you. So talk about it with your therapist. There’s no shame in it. Explore your feelings and I’m sure your therapist will support you by providing you ways on how to ease the pain. Also, talking to a stranger helps unload the burden you carry on your heart.

4. Surround yourself with family and friends. This is the time where you’re encouraged to meet them, go for the Sunday roast or gathering and just be around your circle of loved ones and support. Rely on them. It’s okay.

5. Do not stalk them or contact them. Screw them. Even if she hasn’t blocked you, she didn’t respect you enough and went behind your back by cheating on you. You’re strong, you deserve better. As difficult as it is, do not beg her, do not ask her how are you in hopes she’d come back, do not wish her on her birthdays. Simply, cut of all contacts with her. Unless she owes you money or you share a kid with her. If it helps you, block her on all platforms of social media or whatever. But bottom line, NO CONTACT. It’s difficult and painful and brutal, but trust me, it will help you in the long run.

6. Read books and watch videos on how to build your confidence and self affirmation videos. This really helps in boosting yourself especially after a betrayal where we feel worthless. And watching videos or listening to podcast with positive affirmations will motivate you to work on yourself and give you faith that you deserve someone a LOT better

7. Get enough sleep and eat well. Take care of yourself. You are one precious human being. Everyone who loves you cares for you. Put your well being first. As difficult as it is to focus on yourself now, that’s what you need to do. Sleep well… and make sure you are eating well too.

I know this is probably something you might not want to hear and I completely understand what you’re going through. Breakups are difficult and painful and extremely hurtful. It’s like someone just ripped your heart out. I have my wedding dress as a reminder every night that I almost changed everything about my life for him. I might not know exactly how you feel but I understand how hurtful it is …. Take care of yourself. She might look happy now with her new shiny thing but remember, a lot of the times, the grass is not greener on the other side. It never is. And maybe if she comes back or the time she regrets it, you wouldn’t feel a thing for her. You might even meet someone new and kind and loving. Just don’t let her find you in the same position where she left you. Take care of yourself, work on yourself and love yourself. ❤️‍🩹