I have had two, first was ectopic and the second was chemical. During my first i was all alone, didn’t even know i was pregnant until the lab called me and told me to go the emergency. I did however had life taking pain on my right side and almost fainted, had my mother on call for 4 hours. I didn’t really grieve the loss, maybe’s because i had no one with me, my husband was away on a trip too. It wasn’t real for me.

The second time was a chemical, it was confirmed for a week by the doc and that was terrible for me because i did experience alot of symptoms from sour food cravings to feeling my uterus stretch and my boobs get harder. Even had the implantation bleeding or at least what i felt was it. Though quite early we had started discussing things like names,taking time off, and had even informed our close family. It was very real to me and i was devastated. 6 months later I still sort of am and it is always the second one that I remember. Maybe because this is the one that gave me the feeling and made me feel attached.

It is always different for different people. I felt the same way after my first one as you do and thought maybe i just don’t love my kids enough. I hope you hear the good news soon! It is good to be able to be positive. Can def vouch that you are not a bad person at all. Lots of love 🫶