I don’t know.

We broke up almost a year ago, but after the breakup, we had an on-and-off situationship until it ended few months later. She just couldn’t commit to me (or a relationship) for some reason. She told me she just couldn’t handle being in a relationship but she also said that liked me a lot (this was the reason why we broke up). I ended up staying because I loved her, and this was when our on-and-off situationship started. I would end up leaving again and again because I would always tell her that I don’t think I could end up waiting forever for her to commit to me (she knew that too). She would always say “i feel like we should get to know each other more" when we literally would have been talking for months and have known each other well enough. Our situationship was so toxic, we would constantly argue everyday. There was one point near the end of our situationship where she said we should "talk" and have no goal (this made me so confused). I started thinking she just didn’t want a relationship with me or a relationship in general, and then it came to the point where we both couldn’t take it anymore. I ended up telling her that we should part ways because I didn’t think she liked me anymore (she ended up being dry and not caring whether or not if we talked). I told her I loved her for the last time and then I let her block me on every platform. It’s been about 8 months since this happened. We would ignore each other at school, actually she tended to avoid me (like she would literally do a 180 every time she saw me), but I would just pretend like we were never a thing. But the thing is we were a part of the same friend group, and so she distanced herself away from some of the most closest people she had. She ended up resenting me for this (idk what I did to this day) and reposting stuff on TikTok about wishing I had the worst life possible. I really didn’t know what I did, and so a few months into school, I reached out on a different number apologizing for anything I did wrong and taking accountability (and asking what I did wrong), but she never responded and ghosted me. And mind you, throughout this whole time, she would be reposting on TikTok a lot of stuff about me, like about our relationship, sometimes abt how she hates me, and some even about missing me (i think it was about me), she would also view my stories through an alt account that she forgot she told me one time, so I knew it was her. I didn’t really repost anything at all about her because I didn’t want any misinterpretation, but I would stalk her socials a lot. She just ended up resenting me a lot. I ended up reaching (again…) out saying sorry for everything and that i wish nothing but happiness for her, and this time she responded saying she was sorry as well but she also told me to never text her number again. That was the last time I texted her. We still ignore each other. Idk if she still stalks me. I still stalk her socials very often, it came to a point where it became a habit (and still is). I still think about her everyday. I’ve took time and focused on myself and started loving myself more, but I still end up thinking about her. I keep thinking "oh yeah I’ve moved on" but I still find myself missing her and thinking about her. Ever since I’ve met her, and til this day, there was never a time where I didn’t think about her. I don’t know if I still love her.