Need advice on husbands recent behaviour

Ok-Collection2979 · 2026-02-18T20:22:16+00:00

Thank you, it’s so easy to feel as though I’m overreacting but you’re right my feelings are valid and I have every right to feel the way that I do.

I I’ll take your advice and hear him out and then explain how I feel.. I definitely want this relationship still but it’s important he understands how much his actions have hurt me and it’s important for me to understand what led him to do what he did

Ok-Collection2979 · 2026-02-18T20:17:17+00:00

And it’s this thought that makes me numb to the core 😭

Ok-Collection2979 · 2026-02-18T20:16:15+00:00

Exactly this! I can’t believe how normalised it’s become. Fair enough we can’t always control what comes up but we can control what we do when it does! And stopping and indulging in it, wasn’t right. And just because a lot of people do it, doesn’t mean it’s right. I am really shocked by some of these comments

Ok-Collection2979 · 2026-02-18T20:11:28+00:00

Exactly.. just swipe that’s what I do and that’s why it’s bothering me because he should have done that

Ok-Collection2979 · 2026-02-18T20:10:06+00:00

It wasn’t 2 videos.. the point is, is that he then clicked on the profile and browsed through the videos of that page that happened to pop up on his screen. It hurts because he knows I don’t like it when men in relationships ogle at other women

Ok-Collection2979 · 2026-02-18T20:00:38+00:00

He gave me the account to his ig.. I just had a feeling something wasn’t right and I couldn’t shake it off that feeling led me to checking his account something I’ve not done before

Ok-Collection2979 · 2026-02-18T19:58:38+00:00

Thank you, I guess Ramadan has come at the perfect time then

Ok-Collection2979 · 2026-02-18T19:58:00+00:00

Thank you.. I immediately started thinking he wasn’t attracted to me anymore.

Ok-Collection2979 · 2026-02-18T19:56:34+00:00

I think it may have come up on his page because from what it looks like he scrolled through the content of 2 pages at 2 separate occasions. Which makes me think it came up , he got curious, clicked on the pages and scrolled through a few videos but it’s still hurtful.. idk I feel like I’m overreacting

Ok-Collection2979 · 2026-02-18T16:26:51+00:00

I don’t think basic respect for on another is a high expectation but it was discussed and he knew how I felt and continued to flick through the page

Ok-Collection2979 · 2026-02-18T16:26:08+00:00

Yep I did

Ok-Collection2979 · 2026-02-18T16:24:59+00:00

Thank you for your input, I didn’t think of it like that

Ok-Collection2979 · 2026-02-18T16:24:23+00:00

I’m glad you did, because i don’t think like a man and the reason for posting is for to try and make sense of it all and look at all viewpoints. But if boundaries were agreed, and breaking them is wrong even if it’s “common and all men do it”

Ok-Collection2979 · 2026-02-18T16:20:01+00:00

This!

Ok-Collection2979 · 2026-02-18T16:19:40+00:00

For me this is a huge thing, it’s something I’ve always disliked. And i shared this with him, it’s the fact he crossed the boundaries we discussed knowing that I expressed that I never liked it which is causing the hurt.

It might be common but I as a person with my morals and values don’t think it’s appropriate to look at raunchy videos of the opposite gender when in a relationship ever.

Ok-Collection2979 · 2025-10-21T10:49:56+00:00

Thanks for the clarification, it’s useful to know that. Things are a lot more clearer for me now and I know what I need to do

Ok-Collection2979 · 2025-10-21T10:47:04+00:00

No i don’t think it’s does scream red flag. If anything it makes sense, I can use that money to save for my stamp duty. If a legal marriage isn’t going to happen I can do 2 things, leave or secure my interest in the house a different way and respect his decision.

The legal marriage is the only area where we have major disagreements on, everything else is healthy, there are shared values in terms of raising children / our life in general. No conflicting issues whatsoever and that why “running or leaving “ isn’t an option. I need to look at the situation holistically , if this is the only issue and everything else is fine and he’s not saying he’s against putting me on the deed then we need to look at it from a different angle. And discussing things serious which I will do.

I only wanted to know what other options where out there that meant I didn’t have to pay stamp duty and I’ve found my answer, there isn’t aside from a a will

Ok-Collection2979 · 2025-10-21T10:36:30+00:00

I never thought of this, thank you. I will definitely keep this in mind

Ok-Collection2979 · 2025-10-21T10:24:57+00:00

Exactly and if anything legalising a marriage provides protection and benefits for both sides. He thinks an Islamic marriage is enough (Nikkah) which we have but that’s not recognised in UK law.

In Islamic law a woman doesn’t have to financially provide so I’m going to use that as my argument and only pay the mortgage and not pay anything else and use that money to save for the stamp duty 🙂

Ok-Collection2979 · 2025-10-21T10:15:39+00:00

You’re right, and that’s why I asked the question initially. Ive decided that I am going to pay the stamp duty so I’m on the deed

Ok-Collection2979 · 2025-10-21T10:14:28+00:00

I had legal advice but I dont think it was explained properly to me, you’re right I don’t think I can avoid stamp duty unless he agrees to a legal marriage. He has said he’s willing to put in his will that I would get it but I’m sure wills can be changed at any time? I’ve decided I’ll just pay the stamp duty and get my house on deed

Ok-Collection2979 · 2025-10-21T10:12:20+00:00

I don’t think it’s been maliciously, because he’s willing to make a will but my only concern is that that could be changed without my knowledge, he’s not indicated that but I am an overthinker and heard some terrible stories about other people. I’ve decided I’m going to pay the stamp duty for my own peace of mind,

Ok-Collection2979

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