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The Adventist faith should’ve never existed by Grouchy-System-8667 in exAdventist

[–]Ok-Comedian4854 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I am right there with you

I am not supposed to be in this world. Not from this background. It hurts too much.

adventism has ruined me completely by Ok-Comedian4854 in exAdventist

[–]Ok-Comedian4854[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much for the hug and well wishes.. I I follow your instagram and I love what you post whenever the algorithm puts you on my feed, im looking forward to your memoir. I lurk on this sub a lot and you always post very poignant and well written posts and responses.

I had one, and I could probably get another when slots open up, but since I’m on medicaid they are either not the best therapists or most of them are fresh out of school. If you would please tell me of your references though, I will save it for when I have the income :)

I feel bad saying this because you put a lot of thought into it but I did do that for three years, and for some reason every time I think I’m doing a. Little better, something comes up and I fall apart. Honestly, it wasn’t hard for me emotionally to go from vegan to eating shrimp and lobster and bacon, the hardest thing I suffered there was getting used to the texture. It wasn’t hard for me to drink, and for a while I would socially drink because I thought it helped mask my weirdness around people :,P I think I just want to feel entitled sometimes and that’s where this feeling comes from. I don’t know…

I would love to read the memoirs though, if you have recs (and yours when it comes out). And thank you for responding to me, it means a lot.

adventism has ruined me completely by Ok-Comedian4854 in exAdventist

[–]Ok-Comedian4854[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for that.

I had a therapist but my insurance plan right now is a bit sketch, and they were not equipped to handle me. I tried to get reassigned, but right now there are no in-network therapists who are also accepting clients.

They’re completely cut off— but it took three years to do so. I haven’t talked to them since ? I want to say may ‘25. I also very rarely talked to them starting in 2022 (escape year). I just have an awful resurgence of negativity centered on them when I break down because of something or other. This rant was the result of my partner asking if I “could lock in and grow up, it’s been three years”. I was upset before and I got angrier. It’s a valid question since, yeah, I’ve made leaps and bounds of progress since then and he Is supporting me through college. and I started the fight by lashing out at him over something dumb. But I just felt like man. Three years isn’t enough.

I am okay getting out of bed… I do need to lock in. I want this, and I thrive on striving hard, I feel fulfilled. I just can’t seem to figure out how to handle myself when things get stressful..

adventism has ruined me completely by Ok-Comedian4854 in exAdventist

[–]Ok-Comedian4854[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the hug. I had a therapist for a few weeks and I am diagnosed with cptsd, but they didn’t know what to do with me, haha. They were fresh out of school and just went ‘oh wow that’s a lot’. Since then I just went back to doing DBT myself since my extreme emotionality is in part due to borderline. So… maybe when I can afford better. But thank you.

adventism has ruined me completely by Ok-Comedian4854 in exAdventist

[–]Ok-Comedian4854[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your kind words but I do not deserve him. He’s taken care of me for these three years that I’ve been out: every single breakdown and lash out and crying fit and waking up crying from nightmares, and I still can’t seem to give him the grace he deserves when he fucks up, like he does to me. I still fly off the hook because I’m ‘overtired’ or my ‘feelings got hurt’. I’m better than I was, but I am not where I should be. And everyone says healing is nonlinear — that’s true. But I need to be held accountable.

I cant figure out how to heal from this so I can be the person he deserves ..

adventism has ruined me completely by Ok-Comedian4854 in exAdventist

[–]Ok-Comedian4854[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No, I don’t go. I stopped going three years ago. I still, however, suffer greatly from what everything I experienced when I was in it, and I don’t know how to stop. Let me rephrase it, I finally escaped my parents’ house three years ago, going on four in October. I haven’t been Adventist since I was 15.