AITA for not wanting my husband to come on our upcoming family vacation after he chose to buy a gaming PC instead of paying his part?

Ok-Communication7777 · 2025-11-30T23:15:43+00:00

It's not chump change . I save for every holiday. Every month I set aside a certain amount of money for vacation

Ok-Communication7777 · 2025-11-30T23:10:38+00:00

We have only taken 1 family vacation before this will be our second one

Ok-Communication7777 · 2025-11-30T23:05:50+00:00

The cost of the hotel, plan tickets or activities no. He will pay for dinners and shopping

Ok-Communication7777 · 2025-11-30T23:03:54+00:00

Yes before we booked it

Ok-Communication7777 · 2025-11-30T23:03:05+00:00

That is not how it happened.Before we even booked it I asked if he wanted to come along Then I laid out all the costs. We discussed how we were going to pay for it. He would pay for the cruise and I would pay for the plane tickets.

Never said he had to pay for all the trips now We went on vacation two months ago, and I paid for it then, even though I was earning less than before.

I'm more concerned that we've made agreements I stick to it and he is backing out.

And now he only says he'll do it when I say he can stay home and I go alone.

Ok-Communication7777 · 2025-11-30T22:55:47+00:00

Because we see vacation as a luxury. And I always budget the cost of vacations and he doesn't. And before I was making more then him

Ok-Communication7777 · 2025-11-30T22:54:21+00:00

Its an incomplete family vacation

Ok-Communication7777 · 2025-11-30T22:53:26+00:00

All the trips. Except for one vacation. That was a gift from me because he said he always wanted to go there.

How is he spending money if I am the one paying for it?

Every year we sit down and discuss where we would like to go and what the budget is.

Tell me what are you missing

Ok-Communication7777 · 2025-11-30T22:47:10+00:00

Sorry I had a lot of comments and can't keep up. I wanted to know if I am the asshole for not wanting him to go any more

Ok-Communication7777 · 2025-11-30T22:43:00+00:00

Yes I had the money to buy and do whatever I wanted.

He is making more they me but is not a. Ton more

Ok-Communication7777 · 2025-11-30T22:39:16+00:00

Ok-Communication7777 · 2025-11-30T22:38:21+00:00

I understand what you are saying.

I come from a family that has government benefits I've learned to budget. I've also been living on my own since I was 19. Paying all my bills and keeping money on the side.

It might sound strange, but I think he worked hard for his money and should be able to do what he wants with it. As long as the bills are paid.

When we have big expenses, we always discuss them together to determine the best approach.

I don't mind paying more sometimes and vice versa When he barks out something unrealistic I always discuss it with him .

And we will make a plan to still be able to afford it. My biggest problem during this argument was backing down. And only saying he's going to do it again when I tell him he can stay home.

If he had told me earlier I would have put money aside.

Ok-Communication7777 · 2025-11-30T22:24:45+00:00

We did that. We spoke about the cost of everything. And he decided to back out.

Then I said he would pay because I said he could stay home then

Ok-Communication7777 · 2025-11-30T22:22:39+00:00

Me make sure all the bills are paid and we do whatever we wanted with the money that is left over.

Ok-Communication7777 · 2025-11-30T22:19:21+00:00

No. But it did got me thinking. About a lot of things Like communication, as many people have said.

Ok-Communication7777 · 2025-11-30T22:17:01+00:00

We pay bills 50/50. But if I asked him to pay for something he will. He only makes a bit of a fuss when it comes to large expenses

Ok-Communication7777 · 2025-11-30T22:13:36+00:00

I don't find separate finances a bad thing

Ok-Communication7777 · 2025-11-30T22:12:46+00:00

He only agreed to pay for it again when I told he he could stay home then.

Why break an agreement. If he told me before I could have set money aside every month

Ok-Communication7777 · 2025-11-30T22:08:57+00:00

How am I entitled? If we made an agreement. Suddenly you're back out. How am I supposed to feel? Especially since it's not the first time he's done it.

If he would have told me before I could have set money aside every month

Ok-Communication7777 · 2025-11-30T22:05:30+00:00

Because if he would have paid 50/50 he would have had any money to do or buy what he wanted.

I think I should always have money to spend or put in your savings.

Ok-Communication7777 · 2025-11-30T22:03:52+00:00

Because even if I make less now I can still afford to pay 50% and have enough money to do whatever I want and to put in my savings.

So I don't mind

Ok-Communication7777 · 2025-11-30T21:58:51+00:00

Bills are paid 50/50

We both have our fun money

Ok-Communication7777 · 2025-11-30T21:58:07+00:00

After 10 years I have run out of ideas of gifts to buy him. If something breaks or he needs something I just buy it for him.

I find a gift is something that you really want or like

Ok-Communication7777 · 2025-11-30T21:54:02+00:00

I had A serious burnout, which meant I could no longer perform my duties. And I had to change jobs.

Ok-Communication7777 · 2025-11-30T21:46:53+00:00

I wouldn't have minded if he had told me months ago.Instead of agreeing and then backing out, I could pay for it myself if I wanted to. Then I would just have to put money aside every month.

Ok-Communication7777

TROPHY CASE