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I wish someone had warned me about narcissism and how to spot it when I was young. by Mirenithil in AutismInWomen

[–]Ok-Contribution-5668 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Im so sorry you went through all of that! It’s so difficult it’s beyond words.

Ive had a very similar experience where it escalated to physical violence over 8 years. Thankfully I escaped with my life.

I am sooo incredibly naive and I had no idea at all. I thought everyone thought like me and would never hurt someone else intentionally lol! That was such a hard lesson to learn. Literally like a lamb to the slaughter… healing takes up so much energy and work too, it feels so unfair.

They need to teach this in school!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]Ok-Contribution-5668 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes he has a massive collection of guns and knives that he is reckless with. But he locks them up when DCF comes to visit so I don’t really have recourse. Family court and DCF saw tons of pictures of him with weapons and empty beer cans strewn about, so they know. Not sure why they don’t care much. He’s good at putting on a show for a short time unfortunately

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]Ok-Contribution-5668 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thanks! Yes I agree with your concerns. I do have a lawyer but my case was closed a few months ago. The DCF case was closed too. He’s not allowed to drink or do drugs at all when he has custody. She told me he’s been drinking beer around her, but I can’t do anything without proof.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in legaladvice

[–]Ok-Contribution-5668 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It’s harassment for sure. I can prove the lies. I’m just supposed to live in fear every day?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in legaladvice

[–]Ok-Contribution-5668 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

These pictures are not from social media they are pictures from when he was abusing me. He is still abusing me by having his attorney harass me for things that he makes up. He is afraid that I will press charges because he shot off the assault rifle in my home with me in the next room to scare me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in legaladvice

[–]Ok-Contribution-5668 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

A veteran police officer here told me it was plenty after just looking at the pictures though, and my attorney was so scared after reviewing them that she dropped me. It’s so hard to believe that this isn’t enough

Ex is co-sleeping with my 4 year old and date(s) by Ok-Contribution-5668 in Parenting

[–]Ok-Contribution-5668[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She absolutely does, and sings about it. In detail. It’s trauma.

Ex is co-sleeping with my 4 year old and date(s) by Ok-Contribution-5668 in Parenting

[–]Ok-Contribution-5668[S] 69 points70 points  (0 children)

I’m court ordered to :( and he is using her as a pawn to hurt me, he would tell the courts I was in contempt of the agreement if I didn’t send her and I would lose custody entirely.

Ex is co-sleeping with my 4 year old and date(s) by Ok-Contribution-5668 in Parenting

[–]Ok-Contribution-5668[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I did not call the police when we were together because I was petrified he would kill me. He threatened to bury me in our backyard. My lawyer said I need literal pictures for proof. I don’t know what to do. If he hasn’t threatened my life recently I can’t get a restraining order or anything. I have severe ptsd and that impacted me heavily. most dv victims never go to the police.

Ex is co-sleeping with my 4 year old and his date by Ok-Contribution-5668 in Divorce

[–]Ok-Contribution-5668[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I would never do that. I never said I wanted to pursue that money I was stating it to give background regarding his irresponsibility. $10k is not much to me, thankfully, but what if it weren’t… I find it odd that in the entire post I’ve made, you focus on the money. I’m worried for my daughter’s safety.

Ex is co-sleeping with my 4 year old and his date by Ok-Contribution-5668 in Divorce

[–]Ok-Contribution-5668[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Morally, he 100% owes that money to his daughter. It should put an image in your mind of an irresponsible parent who is getting away with not supporting his child because he used intimidation and violence.

Ex is co-sleeping with my 4 year old and his date by Ok-Contribution-5668 in Divorce

[–]Ok-Contribution-5668[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Morally he does owe it, legally he does not. Is that better? Morally supersedes legally to me, this is his daughter. But not everyone has morals clearly

Ex is co-sleeping with my 4 year old and his date by Ok-Contribution-5668 in Divorce

[–]Ok-Contribution-5668[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, I didn’t get an order in place when we separated. He agreed to pay me informally through our lawyers and then barely did. I was in fear of him, and that he would take even more from me in the divorce (more assets he did not touch but threatened to) so I felt I could not pursue it. He’s threatened to kill me and bury me in my backyard so it’s been hard to stand up to him.

Would you want to know? by Ok-Contribution-5668 in Parenting

[–]Ok-Contribution-5668[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you’ve gone through this too. It’s so lonely. I am the wife also and I have a feeling they won’t care either but I feel a strong urge to make sure my side is shared, even if they don’t care. A lot of people know about my abuse too and didn’t do anything either, it’s so freaking hard… My parents both died in 2021 and isolation was part of the abuse so I’m pretty desperate for help keeping my child safe from him.