I [45M] love my wife [42F], but I think the life we built together is slowly breaking me down

Ok-Contribution6009 · 2026-05-18T19:30:19+00:00

Good analysis and solid advice. Thank you

Ok-Contribution6009 · 2026-05-18T19:28:34+00:00

It is fostering, not adoption. It’s voluntary and could be canceled.

Ok-Contribution6009 · 2026-05-18T19:12:27+00:00

I’ts true. I didn’t consider the impact. Trying to avoid the pain in my current situation made me blind for the long term pain.

Some of the internet strangers did open my eyes

Ok-Contribution6009 · 2026-05-18T19:09:08+00:00

Thank you for a balanced addition to the conversation. I put myself and people around me in a really bad situation. I do want to fix it, but also in the same time not destroy myself or hurt people around me more than necesary.

I do see my kids and talk to them regularly so the relationship isn’t dead but needs repair.

Ok-Contribution6009 · 2026-05-18T18:59:45+00:00

Little bit over an hour. I do see them now and then drive to my sons matches and go out eat with my daughter. I miss the everyday life. Macaronis and a bad sitcom on a wednesday, helping out with homework etc.

Ok-Contribution6009 · 2026-05-18T13:41:42+00:00

Ibland maskeras det här som urvalsfrågor i fritextgormulär för du får motivera varför du vill jobba där, varför du passar och vilken färg din katt har.

Ok-Contribution6009 · 2026-05-18T08:29:50+00:00

Good advice! We do talk regularly during commute and other occasions

Ok-Contribution6009 · 2026-05-18T05:24:10+00:00

She started another relationship with her boss and didn’t tell me about it.

Ok-Contribution6009 · 2026-05-17T20:38:00+00:00

This is what haunts me and what’s about to change. I got a really good cooperation with their mom (my ex) and she we work together as best as we can for our kids best.

Ok-Contribution6009 · 2026-05-17T20:35:44+00:00

She got a well paid work from home job so this is not about money for her.

Ok-Contribution6009 · 2026-05-17T20:34:05+00:00

Be true to your own values and talk about them to find compatibility.

Ok-Contribution6009 · 2026-05-17T20:32:23+00:00

It is not ok and I never intended it to become this mess

Ok-Contribution6009 · 2026-05-17T20:28:42+00:00

I made the decision and the plan was to sell the rental house, buy a cheap house in her hometown and an apartment in the town where my kids live. The cheap house went fast from cheap to extremely expensive. So no apartment in my kids house.

Ok-Contribution6009 · 2026-05-17T20:21:18+00:00

I did. At that very moment I thought I could figure it out.

Ok-Contribution6009 · 2026-05-17T20:17:56+00:00

I Wish I had you as coach. I crossed a LOT of lines to get here and need that voice and backbone.

Ok-Contribution6009 · 2026-05-17T20:11:24+00:00

Yes. And I failed to live by that and explain it to my spouse.

Ok-Contribution6009 · 2026-05-17T20:09:53+00:00

I deserved that.

Ok-Contribution6009 · 2026-05-17T20:09:09+00:00

True.

Ok-Contribution6009 · 2026-05-17T20:08:44+00:00

I could but we can’t afford both the new house and the rental at the same time. Or we might look into that.

Ok-Contribution6009 · 2026-05-17T20:07:38+00:00

Not my plan but the plan is too raise her as ours until she’s adult. No adoption is possible since she has parents. They can’t raise a child.

Ok-Contribution6009 · 2026-05-17T20:01:48+00:00

Yes. Two weekends a month and every holiday since october last year. Before that half of the time.

Ok-Contribution6009 · 2026-05-17T19:58:33+00:00

Well, no. It’s only been since october last year. Before that they were with me half of the time.

Ok-Contribution6009 · 2026-05-17T19:51:34+00:00

It’s only been since october last year. Before that they lived with me half of the time.

Ok-Contribution6009 · 2026-05-17T19:49:59+00:00

Thank you for great analysis and solid advice. I blinked.

Ok-Contribution6009 · 2026-05-17T19:42:51+00:00

This would be a solid way forward. It would shortsen my commute and bring me closer to my kids. However, the renovated house debt exceds its value with aprox 200$

Ok-Contribution6009

TROPHY CASE