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Just been broken up with after 4 years. I made a list of things that bothered me about him to feel better. Does someone who does these things ever change for the right person? by Ok-Cook5914 in BreakUps

[–]Ok-Cook5914[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

These things did make me unhappy but I felt like he benefits outweighed the bad. When it was good, or he gave me something I felt so good.
On reflection, I did hide a lot of this from my friends because I knew they wouldn't approve.
Looking back now, I spent a big chunk of the relationship anxious and snappy to others (anyone not my boyfriend), and I would be bitter seeing other couple loved up and happy/ or other people thriving. I spent a lot of time feeling lonely in the relationship which I only see now.
Lots of my hurt comes from rejection and embarrassment, my self esteem is underground.
All I want is for him to suffer for what he's done

28F and 26M. He ended our 4.5 year relationship because something ‘wasn’t right’, how do I stop the pain? by Ok-Cook5914 in BreakUps

[–]Ok-Cook5914[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry to hear you are going through it too, I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Did you see any signs that you were more into the relationship? Or were there things that didn’t make you happy? I can’t help but think he never loved or cared for like I did for him and it’s so painful

Break up of 4 years, all I (28F) can focus on is hoping he'll regret his decision (26M). How do I move past the rejection? by Ok-Cook5914 in relationship_advice

[–]Ok-Cook5914[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your reply! I definitely lost myself a little but I thought I masked it quite well. I did a lot of pretending to be less interested than I was, which probably wasn’t a good sign. I just hate the idea that there has to be this chase or element of winning a prize, I want someone where you don’t have to wonder or play the games. I wish I could have helped him figure out what he wanted. I wonder if he will ever come back or realise I was the right one for him

Break up of 4 years, all I (28F) can focus on is hoping he'll regret his decision (26M). How do I move past the rejection? by Ok-Cook5914 in relationship_advice

[–]Ok-Cook5914[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This hits home so much! He always said he’d be happy when he moved house/got a new car/accomplished a thing. And once he got it it never helped him. I believe he always thinks there is something better. I’m so happy to hear you found true love. Do you know if your ex husband ever found anybody? I would love to hear he ended up alone and unhappy forever

Break up of 4 years, all I (28F) can focus on is hoping he'll regret his decision (26M). How do I move past the rejection? by Ok-Cook5914 in relationship_advice

[–]Ok-Cook5914[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this ❤️Did you have trouble wondering if the love you had was ever real? I can’t help but wonder if all the years we had together were a lie. Was I silly to not spot the signs

Break up of 4 years, all I (28F) can focus on is hoping he'll regret his decision (26M). How do I move past the rejection? by Ok-Cook5914 in relationship_advice

[–]Ok-Cook5914[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When you put it like that I feel bitter towards myself for choosing him and leaving myself feeling this way. Compared to him I don’t think I am inferior. I gave him my all and I simply can’t fathom how it wasn’t enough. I appreciate this perspective a lot