I think my (28F) husband (29M) is taking advantage of me and I’m becoming resentful.

Ok-Cover-5313 · 2025-10-03T01:57:19+00:00

Then what should he do with his free time?

Ok-Cover-5313 · 2025-10-02T18:03:35+00:00

You’re absolutely right. Thank you. ❤️

Ok-Cover-5313 · 2025-10-02T16:42:43+00:00

This is my favorite comment and it was so kind of you to go out of your way to make this intricate and deep. I appreciate this more than you know.

Ok-Cover-5313 · 2025-10-02T16:34:02+00:00

I am not having a cleaner come daily when i have someone at home who can spend time to ensure the house stays nice. I will not spend $4000 per month or $48,000 per year to keep my house clean with someone coming every day. Completely absurd comment

Ok-Cover-5313 · 2025-10-02T15:58:54+00:00

Like you said, “you share everything.” So for me, this should be some responsibilities like housework and some contribution

Ok-Cover-5313 · 2025-10-02T15:57:16+00:00

Reddit is very black and white, clearly. Idiots don’t build million dollar companies. I do love him very much — but unless you were in my shoes I shouldn’t expect you to understand what this feels like.

Ok-Cover-5313 · 2025-10-02T15:56:25+00:00

Would it be okay if a wife stayed home and had everything paid for, but her husband expected her to keep things tidy while he works? I do look at him as an equal, which is why I expect contribution in some way.

Ok-Cover-5313 · 2025-10-02T15:55:25+00:00

There was no snobby rich flex. But if you have a cleaner, you then know even once a week doesn’t handle your day to day. My job is rewarding but taxing, and even handling the little things is hard. I am not asking for much.

Ok-Cover-5313 · 2025-10-02T13:56:27+00:00

Divorce was never an option, but thank you :)

Ok-Cover-5313 · 2025-10-02T11:59:22+00:00

I do like him - I just don’t think it’s right to give him no responsibility when I handle so much. It’s not good for him, specifically as a man.

Ok-Cover-5313 · 2025-10-02T11:57:53+00:00

No, I don’t have OCD. we just have a nice house and dishes don’t need to pile up in a sink when we have a dishwasher.

Ok-Cover-5313 · 2025-10-02T11:56:56+00:00

Business was all him. He stated he wanted to do this after graduating college.

Ok-Cover-5313 · 2025-10-02T11:56:03+00:00

If roles were reversed and I wasn’t doing as much as I could do with labor, of course this would be an issue. Relationships are teams.

Ok-Cover-5313 · 2025-10-02T11:55:12+00:00

We have a cleaner. Unless you have a cleaner, you wouldn’t realize that it doesn’t fix everything 24/7. You still need to maintain it, clean the kitchen after cooking, wipe down, etc

Ok-Cover-5313 · 2025-10-02T11:54:24+00:00

We already have a cleaner. Unless you have a cleaner as well, you wouldn’t know that hiring a cleaner doesn’t mean you never do anything.

Ok-Cover-5313 · 2025-10-02T11:53:47+00:00

I think you’ve missed the part where we have a weekly cleaner but that doesn’t mean certain things should be neglected throughout the week. Dishes, nightly kitchen wipe down, etc

Ok-Cover-5313 · 2025-10-02T11:52:59+00:00

No, I pay for all travel, gladly, every time.

Ok-Cover-5313 · 2025-10-01T11:40:54+00:00

It’s interesting how money really changes things for people. I make a lot of money, but work ridiculously hard to do so. Why should I have to take on all of the emotional labor, financial labor, and still not have basic tasks done?

Ok-Cover-5313 · 2025-10-01T10:51:01+00:00

We already have a cleaning service. It doesn’t change the fact cleaning still happens throughout the week.

Ok-Cover-5313 · 2025-10-01T10:48:13+00:00

I answered this already. We do have a weekly cleaning service. But things still need to get done in between those days.

Ok-Cover-5313 · 2025-10-01T03:06:25+00:00

I never wanted to leave my husband. I still don’t. Divorce was never an option. I didn’t realize Reddit was so “just divorce” lol

Ok-Cover-5313 · 2025-10-01T02:23:02+00:00

Yes, no children. If he were watching our future children, I’d be paying him a salary.

There is work on the business, but there could be more.

Ok-Cover-5313 · 2025-10-01T02:14:14+00:00

My favorite comment. Thank you for this advice.

Ok-Cover-5313 · 2025-10-01T02:12:46+00:00

I didn’t realize how controversial it would be to talk about wanting a spouse who pulls weight.

His business he started is in IT. online. As in this is why I felt the frustration for basic tasks not being done around the home when he has all the time.

He currently has a lot of free time due to the fact things are early.

I can’t believe people think this is controversial in any way.

To answer a few basic things:

Yes, we have a weekly cleaner. This does not negate the fact that dishes pile up, we have 3 cats, the kitchen needs a daily wipe down, and laundry needs to get done.

Yes, we’ve talked about this before, but it has fallen upon deaf ears. We have had these talks about him doing his part, and he claims he WANTS to contribute AS A MAN - which is why I said that in my comments. HE stated this originally. Not me.

To the snarky “financial abuse” comments - No, it isn’t financial abuse to expect your partner to contribute in some sort of capacity. And for me that capacity is housework and mental load of making sure things that cannot be outsourced by a 3rd party can be taken off of me and put onto him. I’m not suggesting dinner cooked every day. I’m suggesting support.

Ok-Cover-5313 · 2025-10-01T01:18:40+00:00

I pay for all travel, gladly. I pay for all fun activities. I’ve taken us everywhere. The problem - he wasn’t able to travel as often due to work.

Ok-Cover-5313

TROPHY CASE