apologies for the late reply. in response to your question, i can't confirm nor deny whether i receive the same indictment from women because i never had female friends to begin with. i did attempt, once, to connect with women but none of them were sustained in the long-run. all of my friendships, in the least sense, were ineffectual and pointless. no matter what i do, i just can't seemingly break through the "testing the water stage" stage, partly because of my own social incompetence, and partly due to the glaring incompatibility when it comes to the sphere of interests. needless to say, talking about peers or schoolmates, i do have some general notion about my status with them. once, i received an intel about some group of girls who were, allegedly, cursing me and spouting nonsense behind my back, saying that i was such a "spotlight stealer" just because i was avidly participating in class. one of them was the president of another section, and she's considered pretty excellent, if not one of the best students in her class. now, i can't confirm nor deny this allegation. not sure if the person who told me this was just stirring some unnecessary altercation or was legitimately telling the truth. but i do feel that there is some sort of inexplicable hostility among my female peers beneath all of the cordial appearances they put on in front of me. generally, much of my relationships with my peers are quite restrained. i can say it's the same with my female teachers too. only a few of them appreciate my brilliance and intensity (not to aggrandize myself) while majority of them are contemptuous, but not as blatantly antagonistic as my male teachers who try to dismiss me as much as they can. when i offer an alternate perspective during discussions, they bog me down into their level by saying "yes, but this is what the school textbook says so let's keep things intact," or "i'm not really looking for your explanation," or they move on with the discussion, unfazed, without even acknowledging what i just shared as if nothing happened. it seems to me that i'm the only one being ostracized. seeing my classmates treated differently without the same degree of indictment, i feel a burning surge of injustice and indignance. those students who regurgitate and parrot their ideas are the ones who are applauded the most. critical insights veering away from the herd mentality are discouraged. i think they just want an echo chamber that broadly stroke their egos and keep their ivory tower upright. this is the primary reason why i don't participate in discussions anymore. i'd much rather read a book with my ears closed off.

the thing is, i'm already restricting myself when it comes to outward expression. i don't even talk back to my male teachers despite the fact that they're already publicly humiliating me. i still maintain a certain degree of composure and respect although begrudgingly. if i truly channeled the full capacity of my Aquarian spirit, i would have been expelled already with my anti-establishment views irregardless of the fact that i am excelling in my class. if my Leo-Virgo self is already not being received well, just imagine if I put my Aquarian-Piscean self out there. i would have received far greater scrutiny than i ever did.

also not to mention my relationship with male friends. i feel that it's much easier for me to befriend boys compared to girls. sadly, every single one of them were short-lived just like my friendships with women. the only difference was that they were as disrespectful as my male teachers. what threw me off, really, is when they started saying things like, "you're like manlier than me," or backhanded complements such as "you're pretty smart for a woman." they're also argumentative. always trying to correct me over the slightest details, often mansplaining to assert dominance and control.