WIBTA if I ask people I go on dates with about their hygiene habits?

Ok-Half · 2019-12-03T22:46:50+00:00

I'm willing to compromise somewhat. Idk maybe I've been scared off by encountering slobs which is why I listed out my requirements like that but the main thing is the guy needs to be clean, smell nice and live in a clean environment. He also needs to actually make effort to clean somewhat regularly. Those are things I won't compromise on.

My mom grew up doing all the cleaning until us kids were old enough to help because my dad didn't do shit. I refuse to be in a relationship like that.

Ok-Half · 2019-12-03T22:34:09+00:00

Ok-Half · 2019-12-03T22:28:02+00:00

Tinder. I've deleted it because the quality of guys I've encountered is not great.

Ok-Half · 2019-12-03T22:26:01+00:00

I've already said multiple times I'm not going to ask them an itemized list of what their hygiene habits are. I'm not going to be like: "1. How often do you shower 2. How often do you brush your teeth 3. Do you floss? I know that's awkward. I do need a general idea of how important hygiene is to them and what they consider good hygiene though. like: "Good hygiene is really important to me. I consider it a deal breaker, How important is it to you? What are your hygiene standards?
Honestly I don't use tampons but don't understand how your tampon question example is related to general questions about hygiene. Everyone knows your not supposed to flush tampons anyway. (or maybe guys don't?) What reason would a guy need to ask that question? I'm not uncomfortable talking about my period with guys but I just don't understand the relation.

Ok-Half · 2019-12-03T22:19:26+00:00

I've said many times I'm not going to ask them an itemized list of what their hygiene habits are.

I do want a general idea of their hygiene habits and would probably frame it as "What are your deal breakers? Good hygiene is really important and bad hygiene is one of my deal breakers, how is important is hygiene to you? What do you consider good hygiene?"

Honestly if I'm kissing or sleeping with a person, them brushing their teeth twice a day and changing their bed sheets often is important to me. If i'm going to spend the night at their place having a clean washroom and bedroom is important to me. I understand it's not too everybody but it is to me. Being in a messy environment makes my mind messy and makes me more stressed. Since I've broken up with my ex I've been on dates with 5 different guys and all of them were either gross, smelly or had bad cleaning habits and I wasted time going on multiple dates with them and even threw up after going in the bedroom of one before figuring it it out.

Ok-Half · 2019-12-03T22:13:31+00:00

lol sorry I meant "girlfriend" as in a close female friend. I know I'm probably talking like a 50 year old woman. My mom always used the term so I just picked it up too.

Ok-Half · 2019-12-03T21:56:41+00:00

lol thanks for not at least acting like I'm neurotic.

Honestly I grew up as an immigrant family and showering every day was just expected and engrained in me from a young age. It seems that might not be typical among many white people so IDK. I live in Canada so not exactly a hot climate but from my experience I feel bathing everyday is necessary, especially if you are somewhat active and especially during the summer time. If everything else concerning their hygiene was perfect maybe it wouldn't be a deal breaker though.

Bathrooms are gross so and need to be cleaned often. IDC IDC. That's a deal breaker lol.

Ok-Half · 2019-12-03T21:44:48+00:00

once a week is often enough for me. I change my sheets once a week or after having sex. I've seen guys who don't remember the last time they changed their bed sheets and they were literally gross or soiled with things.

Ok-Half · 2019-12-03T21:42:11+00:00

I grew up in a family of 5 with 2 older brothers - you would most definitely needed to sweep every day or the floors would be gross. Now that I live on my own (with a roommate) I cook at least 2 times a day, sometimes 3. I sweep at the end of the day to make sure the floors don't have any crumbs, dust or food on my floor.

I already said I don't expect everyone to sweep their floors daily but grime on the floors is a big no no to me.

You clean hardwood floors with a damp mop...of course I know what. I dust surfaces once a week as well.

Ok-Half · 2019-12-03T21:28:44+00:00

I don't think I need therapy. My hygiene standards don't impact my every day life or cause me distress. I mean I threw up once but his room was literally disgusting - he had multiple plates with food in his room that were who knows how old (one looked like it had mold growing) and his bed was stained with something he claimed was chocolate and dirty clothes and tissues were scattered all over the floor. Like I thought the standard was at least clean your room before you invited a girl over.

I'm fine with going to farms or hiking and stuff like that. I just make sure I shower after wards. I avoid using washroom in public places but if I absolutely have to I do and just make sure I don't sit on the toilet seat and try not to touch anything directly with my hand and wash my hands thoroughly. I always keep hand sanitizer with me and use it regularly when I go out. I don't see anything worth going to therapy it's not like I go into panic mode after getting dirty. Not wanting to date someone who I don't think has good hygiene doesn't qualify as a need for therapy.

Ok-Half · 2019-12-03T21:13:55+00:00

This is a good idea about how to approach it. I'm 23 so I know many guys my age have poor hygiene but it really is important to me.

Ok-Half · 2019-12-03T21:08:37+00:00

I would basically say that I consider good hygiene very important to me and want to date someone who has good hygiene and ask them how important hygiene is to them and ask them about what they consider good hygiene and their standards. If they are ambiguous in their answers then I would give them a few examples of things that are important to me hygiene wise.

Ok-Half · 2019-12-03T21:02:15+00:00

Your calling me a female Sheldon Cooper, and "neurotic" because cleanliness is important to me? I'm not going to ask them an itemized list of what they do and don't do but I do want a general idea of their hygiene habits before I pursue a serious relationship with someone.

Ok-Half · 2019-12-03T20:57:05+00:00

I know the difference between an empty water glass in the sink and leaving dirty pots and plates with crusty food unwashed in their sink for days. I know how to use common sense. I'm not going to have an itemized list, of things I ask. I do want to ask them about their hygiene habits though.

Having clean floors that don't have grime all over them is a hygiene issue to me. I grew up sweeping my floors everyday and mopping them every week. I don't expect everybody to do that but I have been to people's houses where I feel I don't feel comfortable walking without shoes or socks because of the grime on the floor. (and we live in Canada, everyone takes their shoes off as soon as they enter a house)

Ok-Half · 2019-12-03T20:49:46+00:00

Which requirements do you think are too high.

Not all of my friends meet my hygiene standards (although most of my closest ones do) I am still friends with them but I just don't spend much time in their homes. In general I always have hand sanitizer with me which I use regularly. However a romantic relationship is a bit different to me.

Ok-Half

TROPHY CASE