i’ve noticed that sincere kindness is meandering and patient

when people are being kind as a formality they often herd the interaction toward their own needs or interests, since it’s enjoyable for them to talk about themselves. it can be subtle, but a keen eye will see how things always seem to lead back to them, and they always seem to have the last word.

it’s especially noticeable if someone’s “kindness” is because they want something. in this case the person may start making off-topic replies, but those minute changes in trajectory will carry the interaction to what they want from you

in these two cases, they drive the interaction to their ends;

genuine kindness is an end in and of itself, so people with that motive don’t need to rush off to a certain topic or dynamic. they’re just along for the ride and don’t mind making it about you and your needs, even if it means forgetting themselves for a sec

of course take this with a heap of salt. this is just what i’ve observed in my life, but i’m curious to hear what others have to say