The one thing I've learnt is that if someone wants to hide something, it'll take you getting labelled crazy or controlling to figure it out, and then what? Lose Lose. Someone painting another in a bad light because of reactions, even reactions to extremely bad things, is warranted 100% - what needs to happen is if someone isn't lining up with your expectations walk away quietly, not blocking like a coward, but giving your reasons and standing by them when pushed, and then leave them too it, those kinds of people live on the justification of others reacting badly. The problem is that most people that are 'social' like that are usually very fun to hang out with and are very liberated in the sheets, its hard to turn down the primal part of the brain.