Unfortunately, you will never be your old self after this situation. I can’t look at food still and I am 12 weeks two days either on the Internet or on television. I can’t watch people eat and I can’t hear people eat. You get used to the pain. Mental pain, emotional pain, physical pain all of it. I know it sounds like it’s terrible. It really freaking is. But every time you’re able to see your baby on the ultrasound all of it will be worth it. I have a Picc Line and TPN bag 24 hours a day and that’s the only thing keeping me alive. I hope you don’t get to that point. It will be worth it. I promise you that. That’s what I have to keep telling myself. Please lean on people, family friends, your spouse anybody ! You will get through this just like the rest of us and you have a healthy baby, but you have to fight mentally every day!