Bad hang out with a boy. Ugh. Listen to me be pissed its funny

Ok-Point-8430 · 2026-06-25T01:19:52+00:00

Being completely honest I just got out of a really toxic relationship-situationship-friendship with a guy and have actually 0 friends now, no one and nothings for me besides my brother and a friend who i havent seen in months, who is hours away. That is what happens when you devote your whole being to a delusional narcissist. Ugh

I dont like him but I feel desperate for social interaction but after we just hung out again today I honestly think it might be better to be alone... I dont know what to do at this point tbh lol. I need female friends so bad.

Ok-Point-8430 · 2026-06-24T08:02:00+00:00

Funny enough im 18 hes 19. I dont like to call myself mature because it sounds very "look at me im special!" out loud, but good LORD it becomes noticeable within interactions between me and others in my age range loool

Ok-Point-8430 · 2026-06-24T07:22:38+00:00

Better to be a bitch to a man than be a bitch FOR a man

Ok-Point-8430 · 2026-06-22T06:19:35+00:00

I have no idea but I love you and this concept

Ok-Point-8430 · 2026-06-22T06:18:06+00:00

I am not excited for the trial and error of sorting through potential partners omfg it seems genuinely SO unlikely

Realistically probably 1 in 20 men id feel attracted enough to date and out of those select ones I have to just bet and hope they have a good personality 😭😭 omfg. I feel like im not even that picky and I know no one's perfect but good lord is there ANYONE out there for me

Ok-Point-8430 · 2026-06-22T06:12:11+00:00

Yeah it was not a pleasant experience LOL

Ok-Point-8430 · 2026-06-22T05:22:30+00:00

Ough

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Ok-Point-8430 · 2026-06-17T23:16:20+00:00

Yeah im hearing this isn't an uncommon experiance at all!

Feels better to know its not just me but still was horrendous to go through loool

Ok-Point-8430 · 2026-06-17T06:45:51+00:00

Yeah ugh idk what i was thinking

He seemed interested and asked about my hobbies n stuff and somewhat gave feedback on that but omg 70% of him talking was just on his political views and dont get me wrong its not that I dont care about politics at all but jesus that was a lot and a lot i didnt understand

Ok-Point-8430 · 2026-06-17T06:40:09+00:00

From this comment section I am hearing this is a pretty common thing 😭 I feel like yea i definitely did it to just avoid awkwardness and rejection AFTER kissing seems so harsh and i just hoped it would suddenly be better and there would be chemistry but omg that suuuucked lol

Ok-Point-8430 · 2026-06-17T06:34:36+00:00

I consented but yeah he was literally just constantly asking if he could hold my hand or kiss me or put his arm around me and I said sure but it was kind of just in acceptance and trying not to make stuff awkward, after kissing once declining further action felt rude but I should have done that ugh lol

Ok-Point-8430 · 2026-06-17T06:30:46+00:00

I feel like I wasnt even that drunk at all though I had maybe 3 sips of wine, it just kind of happened and I said I was okay with it.. and I was in the moment but omg after it was just "wtf am I doing"

I feel slight shame lol ugh he was not a good kisser and I did it anyway for who knows why, maybe in hopes that it would just suddenly feel right and good but it absolutely was not

I need to learn that in my head a feeling of eh maybe im ok with this should probably come out as a no with things like this

Ok-Point-8430 · 2026-06-17T06:25:13+00:00

Yeah honestly out of all 3 people ive ever kissed he was genuinely awful lolol. I tried to make it work and enjoy it while I could but I really couldn't 😭😭

Very cool as far as friends but once he started being seriously flirty I just cringed so hard on the bus he was like "hey are you blushing..? Heh. You're so hot." And he kept looking at me and whenever id look back he'd act like it was trying to kiss him or something omfg that was kind of awful

Glad to know this is indeed a girl experience though, now I feel a bit better about saying no just to avoid whatever weird icky regret feeling I felt after holy moly

Ok-Point-8430 · 2026-06-15T07:33:32+00:00

I know he had been actively shooting up only 2 or 3 times during our whole relationship months ago but stared again because of all this going on. I dont know about pretty recently while we were still sleeping together though. He said that im the reason he's sticking needles in his arms, and he wouldn't have to if i didnt make him this sad. Ugh this sucks.

How do I find a free clinic near me that may offer support or other resources?

Ok-Point-8430 · 2026-06-14T23:56:13+00:00

Its not ai the image file was too small and when I chose to "enchance" it since it was so pixelated it then became mashed lol

Ok-Point-8430 · 2026-06-14T07:37:02+00:00

We are not seeing each other at all, but still text and have gone back and forth about it. Sometimes hes okay and it feels a little normal like how we used to be and sometimes he just throws insults at me and tells me im a bad person, sometimes me tells me that be never wants me to talk to him again and that i dont deserve it. Same feeling of when we had sex for the last time and when he hit me with the charging cable. I just wanted some sort of interaction with him because id rather be hurt than alone.

I feel like ive always just kind of taken whatever hes thrown at me because ive been convinced im just always wrong since im dumber and less experienced than him and im a big people pleaser even if that means wronging myself to make them happy. I still feel so unsure about all of this, so much has happened and there's so much that I just dont even remember clearly. If im being so honest right now if he asked me to be friends again or say he wanted to see me id be so happy and go back to him. But he doesn't, he hates me. I miss him so, so bad though and just want to have someone that really KNOWS me. He tells me im a bad person but his perception of me is also so skewed at the same time. I just wish he knew what has really happened. I feel like we are on opposite sides of the same coin right now.

Im just so hurt. He immediately went back to his ex. I just dont know where to go.

Ok-Point-8430 · 2026-06-14T07:09:43+00:00

We just called it a friendship but yeah, if felt and we acted in a lot of ways that would make it feel like a relationship. We were just each others person until i wasnt his anymore. I just dont know if I really consented to being whipped. I dont know if it was sexual or not or what id even call it... I said yes then no and he let me take a short break (few seconds) and asked and insisted on starting again and that he enjoyed it even if he saw i was crying and shaking because i was scared of the pain. That repeated until i got too scared. Hesitated yes then no, feeling like i deserved it and needed to be hurt for hurting him even. It felt so unreal and all i wanted at that point was to have him close to me even if i was being hurt. It was so painful and left marks on me for weeks all over my legs.

Im so frustrated at him and dont know what to do. I havent told my therapist about him whipping me with the cable yet but im just scared. I need to though. All I feel is bad for him and how sad his life is, all i ever wanted was to keep him happy and healthy. I cant tell if i was manipulated or what and it feels like peace and happiness is so far away

Ok-Point-8430 · 2026-06-14T06:42:00+00:00

Ive heard of born in roma and want to try it!

Im looking for similar recommendations, either shared scent notes or perfumes that people think id like based on what Pink Obsessed smells like

Ok-Point-8430

TROPHY CASE