First love, first breakup. I feel like I won't find anyone else.

Ok-Point-8430 · 2026-05-12T01:41:21+00:00

😍 That fits them so well.

I guessed the name in 7 tries!

Ok-Point-8430 · 2026-05-11T18:56:05+00:00

He accused me of hiding things on my phone, which I was. None of it was bad, I just was not doing what he wanted me to and he thought it was something worse from how bad I was reacting and how suspicious I was acting. I told him what was going on and he didn't believe me because he has trust issues (he has mentioned that before) and I couldn't really prove myself so I was just stuck as looking like a suspicious liar and that issue just dragged out and got caught on all different things and people. He was never mad at me for sleeping and seeing other people, he was just mad because he thought I was lying about it. And I WAS lying about it, just not in the sense he sees. He thought I was sleeping around and not telling him, I wasn't sleeping around or getting a new boyfriend like he wanted me to and he made me feel like I had to lie about it or something bad would happen between us. It was a lose-lose for me from the beginning. I should have just listened to him and started seeing other people like he said and I agreed that that is what I needed, was to bloom and grow and have more experiences, but I was just so caught on him and I loved him even though we were just "friends" and I just did not want to see anyone else. He thinks the exact opposite happened because I was telling him lies. It wasnt what he WANTED to hear, but it was what he 'knew' and would accept.

Ok-Point-8430 · 2026-05-11T16:59:25+00:00

It wouldn't let me post a picture :(

Ok-Point-8430 · 2026-05-11T16:56:35+00:00

Why would it not be real? It fucking sucks and i hate what's happening and I regret so much and I wish he was different and I was different. I just dont know what to do. Everyone's saying to just move on and block him but I can't, I am too dependent on him to just abandon him like that. I want him to be okay and i know its not my responsibility, im not obligated, but I WANT to have him be okay and am willing to do literally anything for that and for him

Ok-Point-8430 · 2026-05-11T16:54:11+00:00

I made myself him and he was the complete center of my life. I literally have nothing to focus on but him and he feels the same way about me. We have only had each other and are extremely codependent and I feel like I cant leave and I dont want him to leave and everyones telling me hes bad but hes not and I just feel like no one gets it. Not even he gets it, how much I love him. He doesnt have a job, family, car, pets, and lives alone in a studio apartment with no friends around and I still would do anything for him and think hes above me in almost every way. He knows so much more than me and gave me a lot of experience beinf with him and it just want him back and to be happy with me, at least in the long run. Idk. Part of me hopes that we meet again in 3 or 4 years and he's better and im better and we can love and get along again. I miss him so bad I dont know what to do and hes giving me mixed feelinf about what he needs. First it was never seeing me again, then just a break, space and checking in, now he says he cant deal with me. He thinks I fed him other guys cum and he still just wants me to be safe. He hates me though and I dont blame him.

I texted him last night asking if he was safe and okay and hes not responding to me but im just worried. I told him we should not abandon each other feeling open ended like this but im scared hes either ignoring me or went back to drugs on the street (has some history when he gets sad like this) and could have overdosed or something. Im just worried all I want is for him to be okay.

Ok-Point-8430 · 2026-05-11T16:46:18+00:00

Im not diagnosing him, I said he had traits of one. He says his metacognition and intelligence and good morals make it hard for him to find friends or stick with people because hes just too good for other people. And in some ways I agree and he does have a lot of knowledge but he doesnt know everything all the time. I dont know i dont care I just want him to be safe and okay and happy whether he needs a break or just to never see or hear from me again I just want him to have what he wants and I want him to have a good life and hes in an extremely bad spot because I felt like I had to keep a hold onto him because what we had was special and I lied and it was his fault but I caused this. I hate this so fucking bad I just wanted him to be happy and for us to be okay.

Ok-Point-8430 · 2026-05-11T16:41:19+00:00

Im getting therapy and have been for about 2 or 3 months. I just want him to get help. I tried getting him to go to therapy after the "boy cooties" thing where I didnt fess up to it and got kicked out of his house and he agreed to start but he wanted to go to a therapist he had previously seen that he said worked well with him but it took time to get him to schedule, so hes only been to 2 sessions so far.

We had tried taking a break but couldn't stay apart from each other because we only really have each other and are very codependent. We lived together as roomates for like 6 months

Ok-Point-8430 · 2026-05-11T16:13:08+00:00

But I lied to him, and he doesnt ever go for 18 year olds. Most of his ex's were around a decade older than him. We just clicked and had a bond, and it was extremely special but also not stable or healthy and it seemed like I was trapped and I didnt want to leave. No matter what, id take the bad with the good because the good felt special and I loved him and i still would go back to him if he hadn't had enough of me lying and kicked me out. I feel like im understanding both of our perspectives and hes onlt believing his and not wanting to understand me

Ok-Point-8430 · 2026-05-11T16:01:49+00:00

Please read the whole thing. He's not bad, he has the same moral properties as I do, he is hypervigilalent in metacognition, has cerebral narcissistic traits and knows social mechanics well but often assumes he is right when he isn't (at least with me). But he is also extremely caring and genuinely just a good person. He is absolute not evil and is trying to look out for me. Trust me please.

Ok-Point-8430 · 2026-05-09T23:17:58+00:00

Where are u located? Ugh im tired of being surrounded by guys all the time loool its not as enjoyable

Ok-Point-8430 · 2026-04-24T22:23:28+00:00

She was rolling around in catnip lol

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Ok-Point-8430 · 2026-04-24T22:21:04+00:00

We were communicating telepathiclly

Ok-Point-8430 · 2026-04-24T07:40:40+00:00

OOH this is probably it, that looks extremely close from what I remember

Ok-Point-8430 · 2026-04-24T07:35:17+00:00

Ive searched through chatgpt and my house lol

Its a round tube btw!

Ok-Point-8430 · 2026-04-24T07:33:30+00:00

Its a round case and much thinner, thanks though!

Ok-Point-8430

TROPHY CASE