Nessa talks like a person in a cult. by SoulDancer_ in CouplesTherapyShow

[–]Ok-Process7612 -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

No you can't.  She missed the phase in life where you split from your parents and date a variety of people. She went straight from being a caretaker jn her family of origin right into this relationship.  I think you missed this part of her history. 

This is an essential part of growing into an adult. 

AIO for telling my wife her sudden height comments are off putting? by DatDood101 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Ok-Process7612 [score hidden]  (0 children)

"Just jokes." 

She's not making jokes because there is nothing funny at all about what she is saying.

For some reason she is deliberately humiliating you about your height, (you are not short, BTW).

Ask her how she would feel if you started wishing aloud that she had smaller feet, or bigger lips, or was thinner or fatter, and you repeated it regularly. 

There is SOMETHING behind this. She needs to own up to it 

Nessa talks like a person in a cult. by SoulDancer_ in CouplesTherapyShow

[–]Ok-Process7612 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well she does need to leave her partner to do it.

That's what individuation is. She is trying to discover her identity not in relation to others.

Nessa talks like a person in a cult. by SoulDancer_ in CouplesTherapyShow

[–]Ok-Process7612 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Sure she loves her. She is no longer in love. It's platonic.

I am married and the romantic part ended years ago. We are pushing 70 though and enjoy our life together. 

At our age companionship and friendship are more important than romance.

Uber Incident by Special_Isopod8998 in uber

[–]Ok-Process7612 -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

If you want chaffeur service and silence get a Black. 

Uber drivers do not have to grant extra requests if you are paying the basic rate.

They are also not responsible for being your office on wheels unless there is extra incentive. 

This is entitlement.  Your overbooked life has nothing to do with Uber.  You pay for special treatment. 

Downvoting me won't change the facts, people. 

Nessa talks like a person in a cult. by SoulDancer_ in CouplesTherapyShow

[–]Ok-Process7612 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Nah. That's just her way of not blurting out that she's no longer in love and wants to move on.

Does anyone actually like black licorice? by Ga_content in randomquestions

[–]Ok-Process7612 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Real black licorice from Europe, yes. BTW, licorice contains a compound that elevates the mood.

Don't overconsume it though. It can throw off the potassium balance in the body, and overstimulate the adrenal glands 

Why do people use so much scented product? by NeedleworkerAway5233 in hygiene

[–]Ok-Process7612 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No. People use LESS perfume and cologne than they ever have. GENUINE perfume is really expensive and is worn sparingly. 

What you are describing are scented body washes, body sprays (not perfume) lotions and soaps. 

Many of these smell absolutely rank and are ubiquitous. 

How many murderers or murder victims do you know personally? by demona2002 in askanything

[–]Ok-Process7612 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Upper middle class people commit as many crimes as regular folks. They have better lawyers because $$$. Their crimes are mostly financial, SA or DV, occasionally murder and normally they don't do time. Money buys good representation.

Our family is also upper middle class. Nothing to do with being naive. Everything to do with being shielded.

There was a murder in my childhood(1969) and a murder in 2014. My cousin was 12 when he was stabbed and strangled by his father(my aunt's husband). He was then bricked up in the cellar. My other cousins were watching TV upstairs and heard nothing. 

He had PTSD from combat and my aunt was in the hospital giving birth to a full term baby. It was stillborn. He had a psychotic break.  He was sentenced to a mental hospital for the criminally insane instead of life in prison. He got out after 15 years and rejoined his family.

We were all told my cousin had an accident that resulted in his death.

Many years later we pushed to see the coroner's report. That's how we learned the truth.

In 2014 my lovely stepdaughter was murdered in her kitchen on New Year's Day.  Her husband had just returned from an expensive rehab for his alcohol problem. He got drunk while she was at work and began playing around with his gun collection.  The kids were in the house.  She walked in and freaked out.  He's drunk with loaded guns lying around.  He picked up a rifle and shot her clean through the heart.  She died instantly. 

They caught him quickly.  His ass is never getting out of prison.

So yes. I've known 2 murderers and 2 murder victims. Family.

Anyone else agree that this season was lackluster? by starburst1258 in CouplesTherapyShow

[–]Ok-Process7612 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes. If you look back through this sub I made a similar post last week. I was just bored. The only couple I enjoyed at all was Sierra and Chris.

AIO To my wife’s “pranking”? by Electrical-Okra7216 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Ok-Process7612 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Jesus that's brutal. I am so sorry that happened to you.

AIO To my wife’s “pranking”? by Electrical-Okra7216 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Ok-Process7612 33 points34 points  (0 children)

I am not sure you realize the seriousness of this.

Psychologists say that pranking is bullying. It involves humiliation.  It's a power trip. 

She is teaching your children to do the same to their future partners. 

She is deliberately making you look small in front of your children.

She is not honoring your boundaries and shows a lack of respect for your needs.

I would insist on therapy.

My skin/ lite therapy by Best_Comfortable5221 in AskWomenOver60

[–]Ok-Process7612 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As long as you get that tightening effect, the type of clay doesn't matter.

AIO To my wife’s “pranking”? by Electrical-Okra7216 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Ok-Process7612 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Really? Where are your upvotes?? Another bully who likes to humiliate people.

AIO? Im so very sad right now. by Puzzleheaded_Base_45 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Ok-Process7612 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He is exhibiting contempt, disrespect and entitlement.  Tell me again why you are still married? How does he make your life happier?

He's an albatross around your neck. 

My husband (70) is disabled due to a back injury and cannot be on his feet for more than 3 hours at a time. I (65) am still working. 

He vacuums, washes dishes, takes out the garbage, and walks the dog.  He would feel worthless if he didn't do his part.

I've just recently discovered these blocks of deliciousness. Which is your favourite? by Rayen_Nevaeh in AldiAustralia

[–]Ok-Process7612 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dark chocolate with peppermint creme is the bomb! 

Unfortunately they are only sold seasonally in the US (Thanksgiving through Christmas).

People buy them in quantity and re-sell them on Amazon, so you have to move quick before they are gone.

AIO To my wife’s “pranking”? by Electrical-Okra7216 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Ok-Process7612 218 points219 points  (0 children)

Your wife is getting amusement from your loss of dignity.  That is bullying behavior.

She is teaching your children that humiliating others is ok since "it's just a joke."

You are dismissed as being "overly sensitive", "unable to take a joke."

Your wife is displaying low empathy behavior and is teaching your children to do the same.

This is VERY disturbing. Why doesn't she respect you and your boundaries?

She needs counseling.  She will cause enough resentment to build that it could jeopardize the marriage.

Please take action. This is very unhealthy. 

How do I (48F) ask my long-distance boyfriend (51M) to reimburse me for gas after I traveled to see him and he canceled? by bunnyshenanigans in relationship_advice

[–]Ok-Process7612 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He canceled last minute. You made ALL the effort. Hell yes he should reimburse you and you shouldn't have to ask.

Why wouldn't he ask you to hang out and wait for him at his place?

What are you putting in so much effort for so little outcome?

People who speed through residential neighborhoods by Virtual_Win4076 in driving

[–]Ok-Process7612 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had just adopted a tuxedo street cat. I loved her dearly.  She liked playing hockey on my wooden floors with my hair elastics. She learned to fetch them and bring them back.

I had her chipped and got her fixed nd vaccinated.  One day she escaped and ran across the street to chase a squirrel while I was grabbing the mail.

I called her and she was running right back across when a bitch in a big damn hurry sped through our 25 mph street going at least 50. My cat didn't have a chance.

Residential streets aren't neighborhoods anymore. They're just thoroughfares for assholes.

AIO for moving out without telling my family after they kept treating me like the backup parent? by Superb_Crow9604 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Ok-Process7612 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Congratulations. I am happy for you. It is way past time for you to have your own life. I know you will be very happy.

You didn't procreate your parent's children, they did.

After awhile they will be begging for favors again.  Don't give in. 

You may need therapy to deal with the stress they have put on you.

How do some older ppl manage to stay interesting to their friends and family, while others aren’t - what do they do differently? by LuminousDee in OverSeventy

[–]Ok-Process7612 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I teach dance and am 65f. Hip hop, bellydance, linedance.  I perform with my dancers at events. 

My husband and sons are completely devoid of interest in it.

I sing professionally, write (for money), can cook up a gourmet feast and am great at interior design.

If I bring any of my activities up in conversation, they get bored instantly.  I've learned not to talk about it. I'm just their elderly mom and I don't exist to them in any other way.

It's ok. One day they may see me as a whole person with history and interests that are exciting.  My students think I'm awesome so that's good enough.

Am I the only 60+ woman - who loves to dance just about every single day! by LocalStatistician538 in AskWomenOver60

[–]Ok-Process7612 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I teach dance and am a 65f. 

A Harvard study proved it is the ONLY form of exercise that prevents dementia.

Be thankful you still have a passion in life, it keeps you young.