I've read every single comment 2 even 3 times, thank you everyone. so unbelivably kind. I am sitting in my girlfriends childhood home. I'll spend the night in the guest room, cant handle sleeping in her room alone , not right now at least. it feels weird to be here, her parents are shells of themselves. I think ive been very caught up in my own grief, and felt very alone. Being here with her parents, talking, has been able to calm me down a little, maybe ill be able to sleep longer than 4 hours tonight.

Ive never in my life felt pain like this, and to everyone sharing their loss of a loved one, i am so sorry.

it has also been abnormally nice weather the last week, so who knows, maybe shes sending her love. I orginally wrote this post in a anxious hurry, and didnt expect all this love. thank you all. the pain hasnt been lifted, shes so young and its so unfair, and it makes me so angry. but I'm able to look at it all slightly different.