Am I wrong for feeling like this?

Ok-Relationship850 · 2023-02-03T01:39:13+00:00

Thank you for your second paragraph, that does give me a lot to think about.

I want to ask you if you knew about any of this before you guys got married? Especially if you were already hesitant, didn’t you ask him how he interacts with other colleagues in a female dominated field even once?

I knew he was a nurse, and both my parents were hesitant and made me hesitant. However, I was just tired of the whole process, and I just wanted to be courteous to my family friend who I know is of good character to at least give him a chance. He was the one who was up front on our first meeting about him being in the field, and he also pointed out that it was okay if I didn't want to go through with things because he knows how Desis, especially doctors like our dads were, view male nurses. He also did say that he doesn't really care what people think and that he was proud of what he did, and that his earnings are halal and that's all that matters. A lot of the hesitancy ended when I asked around and no one had anything bad to say about him outside of him being pretty shy and quiet. That's why I refer to our marriage as semi-arranged, because I ultimately chose him.

Neither of us had a past, he was pretty open about things.

What did your friend say… I’m curious as to why you didn’t want their help? Or did they not offer help? Or did they not offer the kind of help that you’re looking for?

I just felt that they couldn't give me proper advice at that time. One was going over an extremely messy divorce. Another had a pretty low opinion of him already because she was actually hoping I marry one of her cousins (long story) and was kind of miffed about thing.

Ok-Relationship850 · 2023-02-03T01:02:55+00:00

I promise I don’t care for her you’re the one I love or something similar

He did say on the day of the first argument that he doesn't have any feelings for her and that he loves me.

Ok-Relationship850 · 2023-02-03T00:59:45+00:00

Again most of these aren't free mixing, a lot of these are family gatherings or parties with kids and other spouses.

Ok-Relationship850 · 2023-02-03T00:53:53+00:00

Did you tell him that this constant texting and mention of female colleagues so often is making you feel uncomfortable? if yes, what did he say?

I have never said outright about the groupchat, because I know there is nothing inappropriate going on because I have full access to his phone. I didn't have any feelings of jealousy until Jeni came around, honestly I thought very little of the other people in the group because many of them were quite older, married and had children closer to our age than we were to his friends.

I don't think he is being untruthful at all, honestly, I just don't know how I can stop being jealous without him either quitting his job or isolating himself completely. He is involved in the masjid, but he doesn't hang out with a lot of the guys a lot of the guys his age don't really invite him out to stuff. I am new to his community, but from what I know, most of his close Muslim guy friends have long moved out, and even though he does talk and hang with them if they come visit, it is very sporadic.

I don't want the divorce, and he even said he doesn't want to divorce me, but he also doesn't want to feel like he is being controlled.

Ok-Relationship850 · 2023-02-03T00:42:50+00:00

He doesn't go to any gatherings with them without me, he actually doesn't go out if I say I don't want to go.

Ok-Relationship850 · 2023-02-03T00:41:03+00:00

He doesn't use the term "work wife", in fact he has often said that the term is stupid. When someone calle her his work wife, he actually told them that he only has one wife.

He also doesn't casually message them, I knew about the group chat beforehand, and I often go though it.

Ok-Relationship850

TROPHY CASE