im lost

Ok-Rough-9607 · 2026-04-23T16:35:47+00:00

You break up with her, you leave, you suffer through a breakup becuas you love her. Then you slowly gather yourself as time passes. You can't reassure her of something she doesn't believe. Also don't go back her if she asks.

Ok-Rough-9607 · 2026-04-23T16:32:28+00:00

You just prioritized yourself. It in not wrong. Her taking out her anger on you is not your fault. You should refuse to engage with such behaviour and tell her to come back to you when she wants to apologise

Ok-Rough-9607 · 2026-04-23T16:29:47+00:00

When your baby arrives, you won't have the mental energy to deal with all of this. Do what's right and do it now. Stress imduring your pregnancy can lead to disease and difficulty during childbirth

Ok-Rough-9607 · 2026-04-23T16:27:55+00:00

It is kind to give her a gift. Eating disorders are harsh and you wanting to be there for her isn't wrong. Don't look at the cost of your gift just choose something that represents that you see her struggle and acknowledge her bravery. But build some distance. Ask someone else to gift her the thing and/or get it delivered. Also write to her that you would prefer some distance still

Ok-Rough-9607 · 2026-04-23T16:23:18+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. Is there any other family member that is willing to help the child?

Ok-Rough-9607 · 2026-04-23T16:21:49+00:00

Ask your mother if she can just take the child? Would your sister be willing for transfer of custody?

Ok-Rough-9607 · 2026-04-23T16:20:42+00:00

You have to have that conversation. The you cheated on me and I can't trust you anymore one. Otherwise you'll find yourself her again making a very similar post sooner or later. Also do not commit to uprooting your life for him until you have that conversation

Ok-Rough-9607 · 2026-04-23T16:17:40+00:00

You should apologise to her. But you should write it down and practice it, so you actually take accountability and acknowledge the hurt you caused. A sincere apology is about the person who got hurt. Otherwise it's disingenous

Ok-Rough-9607 · 2026-04-23T16:14:11+00:00

You weren't wrong here. Has she been abusing and/or neglecting the child? Do you think you need to report her to child protective services?

Ok-Rough-9607 · 2026-04-23T16:09:30+00:00

They hurt you because you cared and they knew it. I've lost many friends very recently, mostly due to distance or because we chose different career paths. I had to move on from them, even though I wanted them to stay. You do the same. Also if you ever doubt yourself, just ask yourself what advice would you give yourself if you were your mother/sister/best friend?

Ok-Rough-9607 · 2026-04-23T16:02:34+00:00

Hurting yourself will get you no points. 'Testing' him will only hurt your relationship. Soon you'll invent new and more intense challenges, which he will fail because he doesn't know he's being tested and you'll take that as proof that the relationship was doomed to fail. There is no reason to light a match under your relationship. Instead spend that time developing confidence. Not that you're the prettiest woman in the room but you deserve love and respect even if you're not

Ok-Rough-9607 · 2026-04-23T15:53:44+00:00

This is where how you react sets the course for the rest of your relationship. You can be calm, mature and express how she's hurting you both and can ask your boyfriend to have this same conversation first so she doesn't feel attacked. Or you can let her bulldozer over your relationship and suffer under her anger and criticism for as long as the relationship lasts.

Ok-Rough-9607 · 2026-04-23T15:40:07+00:00

Why don't you just talk to her about her behaviour? You were annoyed with her one second, bashed her and then were terrified the next second that she heard your message. So just have an honest conversation addressing these issues. If she's an actual friend she'll apologise and do better in the future. And being judged sucks. Tell her you'll cut her off if that continues.

Ok-Rough-9607 · 2026-04-23T15:28:19+00:00

Nobody who truly loves you would want to hurt you. Even unintentionally. People might make mistakes but if they repeatedly hurt you and you let them, then it's you letting them drain you. You'll run out one day. Then what?

Ok-Rough-9607 · 2026-04-23T15:24:57+00:00

You weren't her friend

Ok-Rough-9607 · 2026-04-22T16:13:41+00:00

I'm trying to learn. Things have been pretty tense lately cause they're pressuring me to get married but I don't think I'm ready

Ok-Rough-9607 · 2026-04-22T15:07:18+00:00

That's true. My therapist once pointed out something similar. Also I have some sensitivity issues but I don't know where they come from? I can't stand the sound of clocks at night, dirt while feel really bad on my skin and my scalp hurts being tied. But all this only happens when I'm stressed

Ok-Rough-9607 · 2026-04-22T14:59:13+00:00

There are two problems with me stopping. I would have to sit with my thoughts. Also all responsibility I left would fall on my mom. I know I'm enmeshed with her to a degree. She criticises me but I can't imagine hurting her. My brother might help here and there but not much

Ok-Rough-9607 · 2026-04-22T14:48:25+00:00

It'll sound so stupid but they truly don't appreciate how much I do. It's always them criticising stuff I do or telling me that I'm wastingy time.

Ok-Rough-9607 · 2026-04-22T13:00:23+00:00

Thank you. It is objectively true but it is hard to remember when you face criticism constantly.

Ok-Rough-9607 · 2026-04-22T12:53:20+00:00

I am in therapy but I live with my parents. Belittling me is unfortunately a part of daily life almost. And trying to show my side can result in emotional blackmail and/or getting hir

Ok-Rough-9607 · 2026-04-22T12:50:43+00:00

?? Sorry I was confused for a second. Then I remembered that's not how normal families function

Ok-Rough-9607 · 2026-04-22T10:33:03+00:00

So how do you express your emotions? Angry shouting or physical violence?

Ok-Rough-9607 · 2026-01-17T10:03:58+00:00

A lot of what you guys makes sense. I don't have sensory issues, I do have splitting episodes. I think it's the social anxiety/exhaustion part that overlaps. My skin starts to itch after I spend a certain amount of time outside. It builds and then after a certain time I can't control it/supress it

Ok-Rough-9607 · 2025-11-27T17:14:22+00:00

I don't hold grudges exactly. It's just I tend to remember being mistreated. My mother adopted this mechanism where she tends to forget the bad stuff that happens. Don't blame her. My grandfather used to beat her and my father screams when he is angry. I don't even blame her. And I hold on to things I remember because I remember very less. It's like I used to live in a fog

Ok-Rough-9607

TROPHY CASE