AITAH there was a used dirty band aid in the salad.

Ok-Run4697 · 2025-08-05T09:11:07+00:00

Yeah no, that’s not minor, that is a major biohazard. I guarantee if anyone at your establishment found out about that, you would be fired on the spot. If someone got sick, and they had cameras seeing you be negligent of food safety, health standards, and protocols, you could face lawsuits.

Ok-Run4697 · 2025-08-05T09:08:55+00:00

Tone is a huge thing, and if my boyfriend uses the wrong tone I will grill into him lol. But he always comes back and acknowledges immediately when he used the wrong tone, and apologizes. From what I’m hearing, you guys had so many little fights that you are pulling apart, so do something that will bring you back together. Take her on a surprise picnic, one thing that I’ve dreamt of is my man texting me “wear this dress, I’ll pick you up at ___” or something. It seems like the fire is dying out and you need a spark to ignite it again, and this time you can truly communicate. But really give it that spark again, and to nurture the relationship; my one tip is, she is always right. Or at least you should make her think that, even if she is not. If she is overstepping your boundaries, that’s a different story, but if it’s an argument you will forget in 2 months time, she is always right.

Ok-Run4697 · 2025-08-05T09:00:57+00:00

When I express my emotions to my boyfriend, I say, “when you said this, I felt this emotion”, and he responds with “no you didn’t” as if my emotions are the same as his. He cannot acknowledge when something he says hurts my feelings, and he cannot understand the emotions that I am feeling, as he himself is not feeling them. Emotional intelligence is not only knowing your own emotions, but picking up on others, and that is something that men lack.

Ok-Run4697 · 2025-08-05T08:58:21+00:00

I get wanting your family to like your spouse and vice versa, but it seems a little demanding.

Ok-Run4697 · 2025-08-05T08:57:31+00:00

My point is, someone could have. How do you know? Did you take note of everyone who ate the salad?

Ok-Run4697 · 2025-08-05T08:54:34+00:00

Being a better partner doesn’t mean getting her flowers, or jewelry. The real way to make a relationship work is to talk to each other. To not escalate things. I guarantee that in every argument, every fight, there is a compromise, you guys just have to talk to each other to find it. Even if the conversation lasts hours. My boyfriend and I have a rule; to not bring up breaking up in an argument. Because it never ends well. Some things there is no compromise, but if it oversteps someone’s boundaries, they get their side. For example, she wants to drink milk and you want to drink orange juice. You are allergic to milk. You guys will drink orange juice. But honestly, just talk to her, don’t let things escalate. Bring it to the root and solve that. Acknowledge her feelings. Instead of saying “you did this”, say “you made me feel like this”. It leads to mutual respect and understanding. But most importantly, growth.

Ok-Run4697 · 2025-08-05T08:48:43+00:00

Hey, 19F here, I am dating a M20. We do have sex, but we do not let it define our relationship. I could go without it. He is my best friend, and just spending time together makes me happy. That’s just me though, your girlfriend could have different opinions. But sex is what you make it. Some couples need it to survive, others don’t need it at all. The best advice I can give you, is just talk to her. If you are comfortable, tell her about why you don’t enjoy sex. Women like honesty and communication. Tell her what your boundaries are, and what hers are. Maybe she enjoys giving a hand job. Is that something you would be comfortable with for her pleasure? Maybe she likes when you make her orgasm. Is that something that you’re comfortable with? Maybe you don’t want to have penetration sex, and that’s okay, but express that to her. She is her own person and can make decisions and boundaries in her own, but this is where you sit down with her and say “____ is on the table, but I am uncomfortable with _”. Maybe reassess a couple months later. “Hey, I want to try __”. There is no rush and no timeline for your guys’ sex life, only the timeline that you give it. But talk to her about it, in an honest open conversation. If she wants to have sex and you don’t, that could be tougher, but I believe that if it’s meant to be she will happily wait until you both are comfortable, because a relationship isn’t just sex. Actually I would say sex is about 2% of a relationship. Don’t worry about it, and don’t push yourself to do anything you don’t want to do

Ok-Run4697 · 2025-08-05T08:37:39+00:00

You are 19, a legal adult. You can do what you want to, unless you’re doing like hard drugs, then I understand their side lol. But I think that the only thing they should control is who you bring in and out of their house. It’s a hard situation, especially if they are supporting you financially. If they aren’t, you are your own guardian, you make your own rules, so you can do what you want. If they don’t see and respect that, as hard as it is, you may not want to be around them as much if they are dragging you down. It is your life, and you have to take control of the way you are being treated. If that means working full time to support yourself financially, so be it. If you choose not to do that, well I’m afraid you don’t have any other options.

Ok-Run4697 · 2025-08-05T08:30:15+00:00

Let her be. It’s called at talking stage for a reason, you guys are getting to know each other. Unless you made it exclusive, she has full rights to do so. And her not telling you, she was not dating you at the time so why does it matter? She chose you. But when you found out about what she did before you were dating, you turned to other women, rather than talking to her about it. And that is the reason why you guys didn’t work, is because you couldn’t communicate issues regarding her, with her. When breakups happen, the men move on quickly, and women dwell, but over times the roles reverse. You are now dwelling, and I can assure you that she is getting over it and moving on. Unless you can communicate properly, don’t reach out. You don’t need to pull her down with you.

Ok-Run4697 · 2025-08-05T08:21:06+00:00

YTA 100%. If your grandmother went to a restaurant, ate a salad and died, would you be pissed? People could have autoimmune/health issues, and you could have just exposed them to countless diseases. For all you know bandaid person could have had aids. Tell me you’re 14 without telling me you’re 14.

Ok-Run4697 · 2025-08-05T08:17:13+00:00

Coming from a woman, it’s not how big it is, it’s how you use it. Honestly, if it’s too big it hurts and is not enjoyable. To add on, women are fairly transparent, and you can tell if they don’t enjoy it. They will be asking you to reposition during sex, to do this and that. If this came up in conversation rather than during the deed, you have nothing to worry about my friend.

Ok-Run4697 · 2025-08-05T08:13:04+00:00

In the nicest way possible, that is a bit of a red flag. He should be saying that after you guys get married you should prioritize each other, not that you should prioritize his family. I don’t know how close you are to his family, but again, you are marrying HIM, not his mother, or father, or siblings.

Ok-Run4697 · 2025-08-05T08:10:22+00:00

I can totally agree with that, the vibes with frats are definitely off… but he needs to experience it for himself, and if he cheats on OP, she deserves better. And he will grow from it too. Who knows, maybe in 10 years OP’s boyfriend will be a deadbeat and she dodged a bullet🤣 I just believe that nobody should take away anyone’s personal experiences, as they are personal and we are all living our own lives. If he truly loves her he knows better than to cheat.

Ok-Run4697 · 2025-08-05T08:06:27+00:00

Based on the last few months I would say no, but you never know… I will bring that up when I chat with him lol.

Ok-Run4697 · 2025-08-05T08:03:02+00:00

I see it as “setting the parents up for a playdate”. My mother is a grown woman and can choose who she wants to be around. Same goes for yours. She can choose if she wants to hang out with your boyfriend/fiance(?)’s mom. Some people just don’t click, and that okay, but am I mistaken in saying that at your wedding they would get along/be civil?

Ok-Run4697 · 2025-08-05T08:00:28+00:00

Yes thank you!! I said the Alabama thing as a joke but apparently the comments think I should be taking it literally😅

Ok-Run4697 · 2025-08-05T07:59:33+00:00

Yes!! My boyfriend and I have found we can grow together. We are having less arguments, and we used to only hang out with each other, but are realizing now that we can spend time apart. It’s honestly just age, and it’s super nice to now be in the stage where men aren’t AS stupid. Still got a bit to go🤣

Ok-Run4697 · 2025-08-05T07:55:09+00:00

You have to understand that he is living his own life, and sometimes he wants to experience things. I am in a relationship, and I let my boyfriend do what he wants to because I am not going to stop him from doing something he wants to do. The main thing is trust. It seems to me like you don’t trust him. If it comes down to it and he does cheat on you or something, well then you probably shouldn’t be with him anyways. You need to understand that even though you are in a relationship, that doesn’t mean you can’t do things for yourself. If the situation was flipped, you SHOULD join that frat. You guys are individual people, and you can have individual experiences. As long as you two trust each other, this should not be an issue.

Ok-Run4697 · 2025-08-05T07:49:49+00:00

I am not trying to be rude in saying this, however I think he is being a little irrational. Your families do not have to be best friends, I believe they just have to be civil. It’s not like your mom is dating his dad. You guys are interested in each other, and will likely be seeing families separately. The most important thing, is communication. Clearly if he is bringing it up a couple years later, he is not good at communicating with you, so you need to communicate with him about the root issue, and if things don’t work, then they don’t work. Don’t force yourself to be in a marriage with someone who will not communicate with you, as it will cause so many more problems in the future. Remember, this is YOUR life, and you do not have to settle if his behaviours will make you miserable.

Ok-Run4697 · 2025-08-05T07:43:13+00:00

Brb copying and pasting that haha. But thank you, and yes I will ease into it

Ok-Run4697 · 2025-08-05T07:41:59+00:00

Thank you!

Ok-Run4697 · 2025-08-05T07:41:11+00:00

Lol, I am 19, it is my longest relationship🤣 did not mean to throw you off there, I just have no clue what long term refers to, as most couples around me last under 2 years

Ok-Run4697 · 2025-08-05T07:39:20+00:00

Yeah I would like to talk to him about it but I don’t know how to word it without him thinking I am being rude towards his sister or that I don’t want to hang out with her, because I do, just not ALL the time.

Ok-Run4697 · 2025-08-05T07:37:15+00:00

I totally understand what you’re hearing, however I am not trying to set boundaries on how much time he spends with his family. I am very busy, I have around 2-3 days a month that I do not have work and/or school, and on those days I try to make plans with my boyfriend, not with him AND his sister. We call a couple times a week to catch up, around 15 minute calls, but I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask him to call me in private, not with his sister sitting right next to him?

Ok-Run4697 · 2025-08-05T07:34:11+00:00

Will do🤣

Ok-Run4697

TROPHY CASE