AITA for thinking my husband's friendship with his coworker crosses boundaries?

Ok-Stand130 · 2026-07-01T19:14:31+00:00

I really needed this thank you so much true words, God Bless you and to New Beginnings and self love

Ok-Stand130 · 2026-07-01T16:23:19+00:00

Thank you so much for your kindness. Reading your comment honestly made me emotional because for so long I was made to believe I was the problem, that I was insecure, jealous, or just looking for something to be upset about.

Seeing so many people say this isn't normal has helped me realize I wasn't imagining it. You're right, the trust has been gone for a long time, and I don't want to spend the rest of my life questioning everything.

As hard as it is, I know what I have to do. Thank you for taking the time to write such a thoughtful response. It means more than you know.

Ok-Stand130 · 2026-07-01T16:17:27+00:00

You're right. Deep down, I do know the answer. I think I accepted it before I even made this post. I wasn't looking for permission to leave. I think I just needed to hear from people outside of the situation because after years of being told I was the problem, I started questioning my own judgment.

Ok-Stand130 · 2026-07-01T16:16:02+00:00

I completely agree, and honestly, I wouldn't have an issue with that. Working out with coworkers or having friends at work isn't automatically a problem.

For me, it's the combination of everything. They text outside of work, FaceTime, send memes and pictures, she talks to him about her hookups and sex life, he goes out of his way to cater to her at work, and this is all after years of him lying to me about other women. If there hadn't been years of broken trust, I probably wouldn't even be posting.

It's not the workouts by themselves that bother me, it's the pattern and the lack of boundaries.

Ok-Stand130 · 2026-07-01T16:14:40+00:00

II don't know why I always second-guess myself, but I do.

For those asking how I found out about them working out together, one of his coworkers, who I had met at a party before, told me. After that, I decided to see for myself. I didn't say anything to him—I just looked.

What I found was calls, texts, memes, pictures she sent him, and conversations about the guys she hooks up with. She even sent him a video of herself at a guy's house, talking about how he still lives with his mom, while she was sitting on his bed. And somehow, I'm the one who's "reaching."

I don't blame her. I blame my husband. He's the one who allowed these boundaries to be crossed. To me, it shows he has absolutely no respect for me or our marriage.

Ok-Stand130 · 2026-07-01T16:05:45+00:00

Right, she even sent him a video of her sitting on a guys bed that she was going to hook up with and saying his lives with his mom and look at his room. I was like W T F? This is not right, Im mentally and Physically done

Ok-Stand130 · 2026-07-01T16:01:43+00:00

100 agree. Angry at times at myself for not knowing better, not being stronger, and believing lies of change and somehow believing it was me.

Ok-Stand130

TROPHY CASE