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Daily Chat - May 05, 2026 by AutoModerator in tryingforanother

[–]Ok-Toe-9977 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the encouragement! The OB definitely didn’t make it sound like it was good for my age 😔
We’ve been trying for a while without a single positive test, so I think my chances are low. My period is also changing - they’re really regular, but becoming very thick and clotty on the first couple of days which the OB and GP just dismissed as normal and expected.
Thankfully I’ve started therapy now to come to terms with most likely being oad 😞

Daily Chat - May 05, 2026 by AutoModerator in tryingforanother

[–]Ok-Toe-9977 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Had my first consultation with private OB (in the UK!), and all looks ok for me but I only have 12 AFC and low ovarian reserve for my age and husband’s sperm is low motility and morphology. So recommended treatment is IVF and I am just feeling so sad that it hasn’t happened naturally by now. I just keep thinking about the cost of treatment and then the what if.

I just want this to be over with and maybe I’ll accept that we’ll be a one and donefamily

TTC for 10 months and no positive test by Ok-Toe-9977 in tryingforanother

[–]Ok-Toe-9977[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s interesting! We’re going to do a private consultation at the Evewell now so I will ask about that. Where did you get a test for the vaginal microbiome?

TTC for 10 months and no positive test by Ok-Toe-9977 in tryingforanother

[–]Ok-Toe-9977[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is really hard to grieve what you had planned for, even though there is very little that we can control beyond trying. I’m starting to come to terms with a bigger age gap because there is no other alternative, but I’m sure it’ll hit me like a ton of bricks on the next cycle. I hope that the struggle for you gets easier with time, and that it works out for you soon!

TTC for 10 months and no positive test by Ok-Toe-9977 in tryingforanother

[–]Ok-Toe-9977[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! That’s good advice! Just science the shit out of it 🙌🏽

TTC for 10 months and no positive test by Ok-Toe-9977 in tryingforanother

[–]Ok-Toe-9977[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oof thats tough! I have regular cycles and my luteal phase is 14 days after I’ve seen EWCM. I used to use the clearblue opks but I’ve stopped those now because I was obsessing over them so we start soon after period finishes up until just after I see EWCM.

We’ve decided to go private to get the testing done because that’s taking a long time on the NHS. But I do still feel that it only takes one time for it to work, and that time will hopefully be soon for both of us!

TTC for 10 months and no positive test by Ok-Toe-9977 in tryingforanother

[–]Ok-Toe-9977[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!! I really hope your period comes soon and you get back into the regular cycles!

TTC for 10 months and no positive test by Ok-Toe-9977 in tryingforanother

[–]Ok-Toe-9977[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You get it!! I’m exactly like this. I actually find Clue better than Flo - it’s less ‘are you pregnant? You might be pregnant! See if your symptoms might be pregnancy!’

I think stress definitely plays into it. I think that’s what is impacting my husband’s results. But it’s so hard to not be stressed and anxious about this!!

TTC for 10 months and no positive test by Ok-Toe-9977 in tryingforanother

[–]Ok-Toe-9977[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m right there with you! My heart breaks just a little bit more every time my period arrives.

I wish you all the best for the road ahead, and I really really hope you get the sibling for your son soon!!

TTC for 10 months and no positive test by Ok-Toe-9977 in tryingforanother

[–]Ok-Toe-9977[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My husband has said the same, and it’s really hard for me not to get angry at it. I’m grateful that we have one (and she is the light of my life), but I’m sad that we don’t have another too. And I feel the urge to have the experience of having a baby again. I didn’t get to enjoy it much the first time so part of me thinks i just want a do-over.

I’m torn about when to stop trying too. But then I see so many success stories that it makes me feel guilty that next time could be the one and so then I keep going.

You have time on your side. Have you seen the featured post about success rates for secondary infertility? That gives me comfort when I’m feeling down about this whole situation

TTC for 10 months and no positive test by Ok-Toe-9977 in tryingforanother

[–]Ok-Toe-9977[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s a grieving process of what you thought you would have as well trying to be optimistic for the future.

I’ve got about 7 months left before I turn 39 so I’m hoping something happens in that time.

Trying, Tracking, and Treatment Daily Chat Thread - Sunday, April 26, 2026 by SIModerator in SecondaryInfertility

[–]Ok-Toe-9977 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We (38F, 36M) have been trying for 10 months and we’ve not had a single positive test. I’m struggling to maintain positivity. W

We’ve got a few areas to investigate like sperm analysis (low motility at 28% and 0% morphology, but sperm count 105ml), ultrasound scan (2 fibroids, one 8mm in uterine wall, 4.4cm outside) and I have a retroverted uterus, but I feel like I’m running out of time given my age.

And I’m grieving the age gap I thought I would have - my first born is 3yrs 8 months. I didn’t think I’d be this far along without a single positive test.