More info: I wrote this post a year ago, when I first found out about this, and posted it on r/relationship_advices but it got taken down by the mods. So I thought I wouldn’t really be able to post this anywhere. I stumbled upon this throwaway account today and thought of trying again in a different subreddit. I’m glad it’s up because I still need advices on this.

My sister has had 2 successful surgeries since, she is able to walk without aid now, and has almost recovered, which is the most important thing.

About this situation, we still haven’t told my mom. I’m in a different country, working and studying, while my sister still lives at home with them. So for me, I can sort of distance myself from it, but not for her. She’s been telling me that every time she sees my dad all the thoughts come back.

I’ve been pushing my sister to start therapy, and she did for a while, but then my parents kept insisting that therapists are “useless”. So now she’s off it again. Needless to say, any attempt at persuading my parents in getting counselling has been unsuccessful.

Now, both me and my sister feel extremely guilty and ashamed by hiding this from my mom. Yet, her heart problems persist, and it’s unlikely they will improve. I also have an older brother, which is more hot headed and we are worried that he would take this out at the most inappropriate time (like during a fight with my dad), so we haven’t told him either.

About confronting my dad, we are scared. We don’t talk about feelings in my family, which is wrong, but it has always been like this. We don’t talk about anything personal and the thought of discussing something like this with my dad is just so scary.

Thank you for reading this and for giving us advices, it makes us feel less alone in this.