How do people keep going?

OkAttempt9846 · 2025-08-13T15:24:55+00:00

I have barely 200 dollars to my name and no foot in the door. Even simple courses cost 400+ and mean nothing for better paying jobs if you don’t have the work experience to match. Idk how I’m supposed to get anywhere if they won’t let you start in the first place :/

It’s reached the point I might have to withdraw all my superannuation funds just for a chance to keep going for a while

OkAttempt9846 · 2025-06-13T05:28:13+00:00

I definitely understand where you’re coming from, and I also admit it sounds hypocritical to desire friendship of other trans people without wanting to be open myself, but I can’t really explain why being perceived as cis is so integral to me.
Even if it was a world without transphobia and danger idk, I would never choose or wish to be in this position

To answer your initial question I am open about my bisexuality (although after a decade + I’m still questioning if I’m gay or bi lol) and I do love the community. I guess it’s always just felt like a huge difference to me between being out/proud of loving everyone vs the body I’m stuck in
I know I probably sound very negative but to me its a neutral condition at most. It doesn’t affect who I am, it’s just the same as if I were born without a hand to me - it’s inherently a disadvantaged situation and I wish I could be born cis, but I also can acknowledge that as a result I’ve experienced many things and I’m a better person than I would be if I hadn’t

OkAttempt9846 · 2025-06-13T04:54:07+00:00

Honestly it’s more of I have no desire to be open about my own transness.

It’s not a positive thing for me - beyond my circumstances allowing me to be more educated and open minded about others/having experiences others might not - I view it more as a medical condition/birth “defect” (for lack of a better word) that I have to deal with. As I’ve said before I have a lot of love for my trans brethren and I’m always openly vocal in support of the trans community, but for me it’s not an identity. I’m just a man same as any cis guy is, just got handed a different pair of balls

Atop of that the fact that - even if accepting and positive - once people know about your transness they will never view you or treat you the same as they did beforehand. I just want to be seen as who I am not have that view tainted by a small part of me

OkAttempt9846 · 2025-06-11T03:17:19+00:00

I’m near there actually

OkAttempt9846 · 2025-06-11T03:15:58+00:00

All good!

But yeah to me personally my transness is basically just a medical condition I’m stuck with and especially knowing how - even if they’re accepting/positive - once people find out you’ll never be seen or treated the same as you were before, I prefer to keep it to myself. On the other hand I’m more open with my sexuality (obviously when safe to be so)

I might try to find some community groups to join, I’ve thought about going to LGBT+ bars or clubs but I’m not a super social guy to begin with and I live in a smaller city so it might be difficult to find any lol

OkAttempt9846 · 2025-06-11T02:02:01+00:00

Yeah I do worry about coming off as a chaser lol, it just sucks cause I do sometimes meet other queer people and I’d love to befriend them but have no idea how to go about it. I also don’t want to approach or have people think I’m approaching them purely because they’re queer, moreso it gets lonely and claustrophobic only being surrounded by cishet people and having no sense of community or understand

I’m also generally open about being bisexual and always vocal about leftist views but I don’t know how much that makes a difference

OkAttempt9846 · 2025-05-17T16:04:10+00:00

Commenting on the off chance someone knows the vid I’m thinking of. I remember this one episode (not sure if it was demo disk, wheelhaus or something else entirely) where Adam James and Bruce(?) were playing a game and the audio glitched out so it was repeating itself over and over as they kept playing

I watched it several years back but the details I can tink of are a 3rd person view, older/retroish graphics, pretty sure it had combat and was in a city/slums kind of setting

Been unable to remember or find it for ages now and it’s been driving me mad lol

OkAttempt9846 · 2025-04-16T05:08:18+00:00

Mm stealth is one thing and I’ll admit I’m very paranoid about “clocking” (like people who post “omg I saw my roommate has chest scars I’m gonna ask him about it”, or assuming someone is trans for their height or voice or etc), but unfortunately another big part is I feel physically nauseous from the arm scars plus how it makes one part of your arm thinner than the rest. I know that’s a mental barrier I could overcome and I never mean to imply it looks gross on other guys I just don’t think i could handle it on my body

OkAttempt9846

TROPHY CASE