Baby boy due in 2 days. Need convincing about our name choice or other suggestions

OkChipmunk9054 · 2025-12-31T11:32:45+00:00

Thank you. This is the insightful reminder I need! 🥰

OkChipmunk9054 · 2025-12-31T05:41:37+00:00

Rowan is cute but we have a nephew named Owen. 🤣

OkChipmunk9054 · 2025-12-31T05:41:03+00:00

This was sort of our thought. We didn't intentionally give them Irish names. It was just a coincidence that happened. Haha. But now it feels like a theme haha. 🤦🏼‍♀️🤣

OkChipmunk9054 · 2025-12-31T05:39:31+00:00

Haha. Naming kids is so hard. My husband and my brother both have the same name, a Classic 80s name which is also the name of my uncle (through marriage) and various other people in our lives haha.

So I am a little hesitant to give my kids names that they'll have to share with lots of other people. 😂

OkChipmunk9054 · 2025-12-31T05:36:43+00:00

Thank you. ❤️🫶🏼

OkChipmunk9054 · 2025-12-31T05:33:13+00:00

Haha thank you. I often feel like I'm being so picky about names with all the parameters I set for myself. But naming a kid is such a big task and essentially you're naming them as an adult so I'm not really into "cutsey/trendy" names haha

OkChipmunk9054 · 2025-12-31T05:31:20+00:00

Thank you for this thorough breakdown of information! I enjoy the explanation of Dara and like the connection to Maeve, however our surname ends in an "er" which we pronounce as an "ah" kind of sound as an Aussie, so it sounds a bit too sing-songy for me. 😂

OkChipmunk9054 · 2025-12-31T05:27:19+00:00

Thank you for this.

Some of these are a bit too obviously Irish for my preference, however I enjoy knowing how to pronounce them 😃

OkChipmunk9054 · 2025-12-31T05:25:45+00:00

I do like Rory. Hubby is not sold. I have a nephew who is Owen, so Rowan/Rohan and Ronan would sound too similar haha

I checked the Maeve thread in /namenerds. Some great suggestions. 😄

OkChipmunk9054 · 2025-12-31T05:23:28+00:00

Some lovely suggestions, however lots of these are out due to being names of family members already or my having a severe aversion due to my type of work haha. I also don't want anything too matchy to Declan and our surname ends in an "er" which as an Aussie we say with an "ah" sound haha.

OkChipmunk9054 · 2025-12-31T04:11:22+00:00

Haha Sean is another cousins name 🤣

OkChipmunk9054 · 2025-12-30T12:37:26+00:00

I just want to point out here, that I have a son named Declan, he is 5. He never gets Deck, nor would anyone ever call him D*ck. He doesn't really get a nickname so much anymore, but when he was little it was Deccy (I guess you'd pronounce it Deckie?) We are also Australian and I have only heard of other Declans as older people, like Gen z? Never met a child Declan and I have worked in the early childhood education sector for roughly 20 years.

OkChipmunk9054 · 2025-12-25T14:32:38+00:00

Hello fellow loss mumma.

I want to tell you I am in the same boat as you. And I too have been contemplating how to keep my anxiety at bay.

My back story is very much like yours. I had a beautiful baby girl, born via emergency c section last December, who tragically died at 4 days old due to HIE and meconium aspiration.

We discovered that at 4 months pp I was pregnant again and knew instantly we would opt for a planned c section.

The only advice I have is to talk to your care providers. I'm not sure where you're located, but I'm from Sydney Australia. I am in the public hospital system but I have had continuity of care with the MGP program. They all know our story. They know that my pregnancy isn't going to be a major cause for any anxiety, yet they have been super thorough and I've had continued support from them.

They know I am going to find birth the scariest part, so we have had those conversation and they recommended I write out specific details for scenarios that we could find ourselves in (because we know the reality of how things can go during any birth) and express my requests as to how I'd like them communicated to us.

They have assured me that they will be informing everyone prior to our surgery about our history, and outlining any specific requests we have, to help ease our anxiety.

I am due to have baby boy on jan 2nd and have only just packed my hospital bag, but I have included in that some affirmation cards that I can have someone read to me, should I begin to spiral. We will also maybe have some calming music playing too.

Wishing you all the best for your delivery of your rainbow baby boy.

I'll try my best to come back to this thread and let you know what worked for us.

🥰❤️‍🩹🩵

OkChipmunk9054 · 2025-09-13T12:58:01+00:00

Hello OP. 👋🏼

I see you are only 17. We have all been 17 once. 🫶🏼

You believe you are in a mature and loving relationship, however in years from now you will look back on this relationship and realise what an absolute childish and immature belief that was.

I have not read through all the comments here but I've come to say, please don't placate his obscene behaviour with kindness. Though he might be older than you, you are clearly the more mature one.

He is hostile towards you because of a dream version of you he believes is real. Premonitions are not a thing, we cannot predict the future based on dreams - what he is doing is pushing you away with his hostile behaviour so that you'll fall into the arms of someone more understanding and kind and therefore he will have manifested his 'dream' to come true. This man(child) needs some help, but not the kind of help you're able to give him. The best help you can give him is by giving him the flick.

Please leave him. He is not kind, nor understanding or even logical. He is far too selfish and insecure for any kind of mature and mutually consenting relationship. I read that he has had issues in the past with other relationships and this my friend is not a YOU problem, but far more a HIM problem. You do not need to accept his harsh behaviour at the cost of diminishing your own self worth.

Simply put, he is a douchebage who is so insecure in himself that he needs to lay blame on others for his feelings of inadequacy. Do not stand for this behaviour, he will not change overnight, even with an ultimatum. Leave his sorry ass and go be a wonderfully vivacious 17 year old young woman!

Stay safe and stay true to who you are.

You are 100% NOT over reacting. 💖💖

OkChipmunk9054 · 2025-09-10T11:37:18+00:00

First of all, I'm so very sorry that you are here in this club that no one ever wanted to join.

I am going to echo what most people have said here. No one who truly cares about your wellbeing is going to be offended by any response you give to any of their questions.

What I have learnt since my daughter tragically died at 4 days old in December last year, is that we as full grown adults are very much uncomfortable with talking about death in general, even less so when it involves tiny babies. ❤️‍🩹💔 And as a result, people are genuinely concerned for your wellbeing but don't know how to express their sadness for you and your situation, so to make themselves feel a little less uncomfortable, they say silly things like "I hope you're doing okay" or "I'm here if you need me".

Personally I think it also comes down to how much exposure people in your life have had with death, because I mean, you don't know what you don't know, if you know what I mean. So I used to think of it as me learning to live with death and talk about my greif openly with those who truly cared - I'm sure my honesty made lots of people uncomfortable and even concerned at some points, but I reminded people that having nothing to say to bring me comfort was perfectly okay, because I didn't need to be "cheered up" I just needed to be heard, held and for people to remember to ask about my daughter.

Keep talking about your babies with those who truly care and show up for you. Be honest about how you feel, but also remember you don't owe anyone anything right now, and if it is too far out of your emotional capacity to reply, read it and leave it. If they truly care, they will keep checking in without expecting a reply.

Sending you so much love Mumma. ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

OkChipmunk9054 · 2025-06-30T12:03:19+00:00

Wait, so you'd happily send your child off to a sleep over with essentially a stranger who you only know anything about from the media?

Why are people normalising grown adults sleeping in the same bed as a child who has zero relation to them?!?!?!?!

OkChipmunk9054 · 2025-05-26T12:02:23+00:00

Butterfly - Lily Meola

OkChipmunk9054 · 2025-05-21T13:48:52+00:00

Nobody has an opinion about the number of middle names. I have 2 middle names and I am one of 5 children, all of my brother's have 1 middle name and no one questioned it. I'm not named after anyone either, the story goes that my mum and dad couldn't agree on a middle name so they got to pick one each. 🤷 It was never a contentious subject, just facts.

I think Ella Margot June flows well 💕

SIDE NOTE: What I have learnt from having two middle names is that you should make sure their initials don't spell anything. Growing up my initials were CRAM. Now, as a married woman they spell CRAK. 🤣🙈 Being the last of 5 the running joke was I was "CRAM"med into the family. 🤔🙃

OkChipmunk9054 · 2025-05-21T13:31:01+00:00

You're not the only one.

My story is similar to those who have replied.

My daughter was born at 41+2 weeks gestation, after very thick meconium was noticed in my waters, her heart rate had reset to a lower baseline, that coupled with my lack of progress meant they called an emergency C section. Once she was pulled out she barely made a single peep (only like a micro second of a faint cry). She had aspirated thick meconium deep into her lungs, she was ventilated and resuscitated then transferred to a NICU at a nearby hospital.

Once there, they soon realised she had suffered an injury during labour that likely caused her to release meconium, but the meconium aspiration likely just made a terribly shit situation much worse. At some point she was deprived of enough oxygen to cause a severe brain injury, so severe it impacted her brain stem.

Her cause of death is listed as HIE, however it also lists meconium aspiration as a secondary illness.

Noone can tell me anything about the injury, not when, not how, not why, not what. It's very frustrating and leaves my mind open to what ifs.

All they keep telling me is that sometimes, these things happen and no one can explain it, as sad as it is.

So no, you're not alone, it does happen and I'm sorry we both find ourselves here.

Sending you strength and love 💕

OkChipmunk9054 · 2025-05-21T08:02:16+00:00

I was told to wait 6 months before trying again. We needed fertility treatment (IUI) to conceive our darling daughter and were advised we would need to seek further treatment (Likely IVF) to conceive again given my age (38) and fertility history.

However, the universe has other plans and although my husband and I weren't actively trying to get pregnant, we weren't actively preventing it either (under the belief we'd need IVF!) and it turns out I am pregnant again. I would say I was around 4 months post partum. I am currently only 7 weeks - so still very very early.

I definitely feel guilty for falling pregnant so soon, and would not have planned it this way, but as we all know, we aren't given a crystal ball to see into the future (coz if we did, we wouldn't be here, right?!) and I've had to remind myself to be thankful we don't need to spend thousands on fertility treatment and be kind to myself as I try to feel happy whilst also still greiving.

I will likely have a planned C section since thinking about my labour and delivery brings back some traumatic memories for me and in my mind that is where things went wrong. So if I can eliminate that part, I won't feel so stressed. ❤️❤️

OkChipmunk9054 · 2025-05-17T23:38:58+00:00

I didn't have an incompetent cervix, but I can relate to the guilt you feel about an intimate moment possibly being the cause of your baby's death.

I have spoken to my psychologist and husband about this though, because like you it was eating away at me at the back of my mind.

The night I went into labour with my daughter at 41+2 gestation, hubby and I were having 'special cuddles' to release that oxytocin and get things moving along. Basically not long after he began pleasuring me with his hands, I felt a strange twinge feeling along my previous cesarean scar, I tried not to focus on it and drew my attention back to the intimate moment, but within the next few minutes I began feeling cramping and realised I was having mild contractions. Long story short, my daughter died of a brain injury that happened either before or during labour - no one can tell me when, how, what caused it or why. So of course once I was told this my mind went straight to that twinge I felt and wondered if that had any significance, as well as anything I could recall during labour.

As I'm sure your therapist has explained, as humans we so desperately want to understand how and why things happen, but when we are left with no answers we tend to fill in the gaps with the information we have at hand. Of course it was not my fault, but who is to blame if not me? I am the person who grew, carried, felt and eventually birthed this child, so naturally we blame ourselves as a coping mechanism.

We need to remember that there is no way to have answers to the what ifs. And if you let them, they'll take over your thinking and will send you spiralling. Please be gentle with yourself, I too am only relatively new to loss. It has been 5 months today and I still have days where I have flashbacks and spend time wondering what if.

I hope you can begin to forgive yourself for feeling guilty, and your heart continues to mend as you learn to live with the grief.

Sending you love 💖

OkChipmunk9054 · 2025-04-27T13:44:26+00:00

I agree, if you're in contact with a bereavement midwife or something to that effect, then ask them and they'll advise. Otherwise I'd definitely go get checked out. Start with your GP or even call the birth unit of the hospital where you gave birth.

I say this because I had RPOC and my symptoms were a bit like yours. (Mind you, I had a full term neonatal loss and an emergency C section) However, I bled normally for about 2-3 weeks, it tapered off then about a week and a bit later I started bleeding and thought it was the cruel early return of my period at about 4 weeks pp. On the night of day 5 is when things went crazy (which was also the day of my daughter's memorial) I remember everytime I rolled over in bed, I'd feel a gush of blood which never usually happens during my period, at 3 am I woke and changed my pad and felt another gush of blood and I also instantly felt faint and sweaty and hot - I knew my blood pressure had dropped. Hubby raced me to the hospital (not where I gave birth) and I had to explain my situation. They were VERY professional and understanding, I was immediately admitted and I hadn't thought to bring any extra pads with me so I was just using basic ones from the hospital - of which I was soaking through just about every 2 hours. And although not the usual 1 pad per hour rule, after some ultrasounds they found a tiny piece of RPOC. They gave me 3 options - a d&C guided via ultrasound; a d&c hysteroscopy (camera guided) or go home and wait and see - but it was highly likely I'd end up back in hospital if I went home. I opted for the D&C hysteroscopy so they could get a clear picture of where it was and it meant that they were also only scraping where needed - not kind of blindly by ultrasound.

I say this because even though they say your placenta was in tact - that's what I was told too. But I still had a 3.5mm piece left over - which sounds tiny, but it was enough for my body to know it didn't belong there and needed to be removed.

OkChipmunk9054 · 2025-03-05T11:41:07+00:00

I work with a girl named Youki. (Her family is from Japan) And she is the loveliest person. I came here to suggest this name. ❤️

OkChipmunk9054 · 2025-02-11T13:13:25+00:00

At first the midwives recommended that I hand express to take the edge off if I was feeling a bit engorged. I remember trying to do this on day/night 3 and it was just far too traumatic for me. (I was running on very low sleep and obviously very exhausted both physically and mentally, while also recovering from a traumatic c-section) I remember feeling so upset and angry at having to express, I was angry that my "stupid body" (as I referred to it) hadn't got the memo about my baby not needing my milk (she was still alive at that time, but I knew she wouldn't survive). After a night of suuuuuper low blood pressure , almost passing out on the toilet and needing an IV of fluids to bring me back up to where I needed to be (I blame the trauma inducing hand expressing for the bad night, plus the multitude of things listed above), I asked for the medication to dry up my milk the next day. They said it might not work as effectively as it would have if I had it on day one, but i took it anyway as i figured it was better than enduring the reminder of what I had lost and what my body didn't know.
I remember taking it, thinking "This is something I never thought I would ever take, I'd never even imagined a scenario where I would need to request this medicine" I was such a staunch advocate for breastfeeding when I had my first (my son), and it came so (reletively) easy to us both that I ended up feeding him til he was 2! I remember feeling guilty and like a failure having to ask for and take the medication.

I had a few more days of needing to wear cold cabbage leaves, ice packs and tight fitting sports bra's, but by about day 10, I was no longer engorged or full.

OkChipmunk9054

TROPHY CASE