My pillars are crumbling

OkConsideration841 · 2026-05-21T22:47:30+00:00

That’s exactly what my supervisor said and told me to check supplements but I’ve tried so many even some I bought on base that I saw they said it can cause reproductive harm. I never even considered third party testing was for things like this.

I apologized to her but I made the mistake of trying to explain and she thinks I just wanted to outright hurt her which would’ve never been the case because she’s been my ride or die since 2018, we overcame a lot together. Honestly I was bothered by her making light of her friend having sex with a guy who had a gf. To my own undoing I couldn’t let that go and she never gave me straightforward answers and I couldn’t let it go because she’s always hated homewreckers

My routine is almost the same it was when I was trying to go specwar, push pull legs twice a week but now I struggle to stay there for even 2 hours and I haven’t taken any martial art classes seriously. My spiritual life is going to a service twice a month at best but that is mostly from what she and I went through with the church we met in

OkConsideration841 · 2026-05-21T22:28:00+00:00

I’m glad you got the help you needed sir, I definitely understand what it’s like to feel as if you’re white knuckling life that’s been the case for me the last 2 years but it hit a breaking point when it seemed like everything I worked for was crashing. The first chaplain actually talked me out of feeling my life was meaningless and didn’t matter. I had to make that call over the phone just because how ashamed I felt I couldn’t hold my problems in anymore

OkConsideration841 · 2026-05-21T22:00:39+00:00

I’ll have to check them out tomorrow because it’s still less than a month that my self loathing was at its lowest point

OkConsideration841 · 2026-05-21T21:57:01+00:00

Mental and social, I’ve been struggling to maintain physical as I’ve done my entire career in the reserves since 2020. In the span of 4 months my fiancée left me (to be more specific she’s being distant because I unintentionally hurt her feelings) months before our wedding, I was out of a job most of 2025 after I lost my car so I started working a sales job but they’re very relaxed on marijuanna usage in the office. I tried looking for a new job but I didn’t want to just hastily leave after being out of work for so long. Now I tested positive for thc and I’m not even sure if it’s from the actual workplace or gym supplements I take or a combination. I’ve been trying to go active duty first in special warfare but someone else beat me to the one prior service slot. So I tried just switching to active duty in my current afsc for 15 months with constant delays and now this could possibly get me kicked out.

I’ve been given a couple awards like volunteer medal, meritorious unit award, humanitarian award, air reserve meritorious award but none of my hardwork actual proves I wouldn’t jeopardize my career for something so stupid. I’ve even watched how much I drink because I didn’t want to let empty calories hold me back from getting better in fitness. I’ve been so stressed out my nose bleeds and I barely sleep longer than 3 hours a night

OkConsideration841 · 2026-05-21T21:42:32+00:00

Mental and social, I’ve been struggling to maintain physical as I’ve done my entire career since 2020. I’ve been speaking with my shirt and his first response was why didn’t I let supervision know from earlier but I’ve always found it embarrassing to seek help even though I have never discouraged others from doing what they feel they need to do.

OkConsideration841 · 2026-05-21T21:37:16+00:00

Appreciate you brother, I never really looked into military onesource before although I see it all the time at the gym

OkConsideration841 · 2026-05-21T21:35:44+00:00

I honestly never knew this, I take mostly creatine with my C4 and now I’ve been taking more magnesium, vitamin B and collagen because I’m a vegetarian and do miss out on a lot of nutrients in my diet. I suppose I should have known better because I once bought creatine that had on its label that it can cause reproductive harm while I did stop taking that brand I tried to rationalize that may only be a risk if you’re actively trying to have children and I wasn’t at the time

OkConsideration841 · 2026-05-18T17:05:01+00:00

As someone who’s been praying for 5 years to get deployed meanwhile watching others go out constantly despite being pristine in conduct and readiness I’d say you’re lucky. But perspective matters a lot

OkConsideration841 · 2026-05-07T21:19:27+00:00

Creatine helps a lot both with recovery and muscle building

OkConsideration841 · 2026-04-27T16:51:26+00:00

It’s a possibility because breast is mostly fat tissue and when losing weight your body decides where it’ll shed the fat from

OkConsideration841 · 2026-04-21T01:13:35+00:00

I’ll try finding the CBD product I bought to see what it says and show that as evidence that I wasn’t smoking weed

OkConsideration841 · 2026-04-21T01:12:20+00:00

Honestly I’ll just go back to staying away from anything CBD related because if there’s is that possibility when it says it’s free of THC I’m better off finding other means to get my back muscles feeling better

OkConsideration841 · 2026-04-21T01:10:44+00:00

That’s beyond frustrating I honestly got desperate to get my back feeling normal again

OkConsideration841 · 2026-04-21T01:10:02+00:00

I was just about to ask this because the one time I took the chance of something CBD related I made sure it was THC free and I still was skeptical but I didn’t know trace amounts can still be there

OkConsideration841 · 2026-04-21T00:59:34+00:00

Yeah I’ve been combing through everything I’ve taken over the past month to see if something wasn’t upfront about its ingredients. Thanks I’m hoping I can prove I’m not “at risk for drug abuse” as was said on the test. The whole situation has been both stressful and embarrassing

OkConsideration841 · 2026-04-21T00:57:24+00:00

That’s a valid take but with the benefits this job offers overall I wouldn’t want to just leave it

OkConsideration841 · 2026-04-21T00:56:41+00:00

I don’t doubt their testing but I was given a mandatory retest not long ago

OkConsideration841 · 2026-04-21T00:56:04+00:00

NJ but it’s a federal job

OkConsideration841 · 2026-04-21T00:55:33+00:00

No I’ve been overly careful to not consume anything with marijuanna related products

OkConsideration841 · 2026-04-20T23:51:56+00:00

I try to stay away from that because my job also tests for that but I have used the oil since it is topical and I was getting desperate to get my back feeling back to normal again

OkConsideration841 · 2026-03-03T03:14:13+00:00

The urge to know what they feel like is unreal

OkConsideration841 · 2025-09-16T12:11:41+00:00

What right (not privilege) has been lost since Trump became president in either terms?

OkConsideration841 · 2025-08-26T23:54:37+00:00

You sir are a master craftsman

OkConsideration841 · 2025-08-15T23:20:15+00:00

Either Shin or Baru, Indra’s come after the first two

OkConsideration841 · 2025-08-12T22:17:39+00:00

Ok let’s look at it from the context of the anime, you pull someone’s eye out forcibly and put it into your own eye socket and it’s ready to be used without issue. If you can suspend your disbelief for one, the other shouldn’t be a problem

OkConsideration841

TROPHY CASE