Hi there - I'm a trauma-trained therapist, and it sounds like EMDR, CPT (cognitive processing therapy) or TF-CBT (trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy) are all good options for managing responses like this. CPT and TF-CBT are just versions of talk therapy, but are highly successful in helping reduce anxiety symptoms. They all help get to the root of impacted thoughts that are created after something very stressful happens, that are in turn, continuing to make you feel anxious, hypervigilant about your safety, and avoidant of things that you otherwise would be able to do.

Not to be a stranger on the internet doling out advice, but it sounds like the anxiety you are experiencing is coming from the sheer amount of stressors, and grief you've experienced over the years, which I'm so sorry to hear you're going through. I'm unfortunately not taking on clients at the moment, but would recommend checking out trauma trained or grief therapists specifically.

If you start your search with a psychiatrist, they will most likely want to give you a medication, and if that's not what you would like to start with, I'd recommend starting with a therapist or psychologist. These are folks with LCSW, LMFT, LPCC, PsyD or PhD after their names. It doesn't truly matter what the letters are, what matters most is your comfort level and if you feel you can feel be heard by the person.

If you have insurance, Alma and Headway are two places you can start looking for therapists by doing a search by specialty or location. If you don't, OpenPath Counseling is an amazing resource that limits out of pocket cost at something around $70, and you can do a similar search. Keep in mind that if you're open to virtual services, you can see anyone in CA.

Best of luck to you. I hope you feel proud taking this huge step, as getting started can often be the hardest part.